walking His trail

Crisis in Somalia

2011-08-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

Hi, I just wanted as many people as possible to read this, there is a huge crisis going on in Somalia right now. Well, there have been horrible things happening there for a very long time, but it's reached a peak. the southern part of the country is controlled by Al Shabab, an Islamist insurgent group, and they are making what is already a bad situation worse. there is famine and drought in the country and Al Shabab is preventing dying and sick people from leaving the country in order to receive help as refugees in neighboring countries. it's a very dire situation. you can read more about it in this article:

Somalis Waste Away as Insurgents Block Escape From Famine

and you can donate to any organizations listed here:

How to Help Victims of the East Africa famine

I wish I could help more, but we also know that as believers our prayers are heard by the Creator of the universe, whose heart breaks for the people in eastern Africa. please give this situation a few minutes of your time.

the illusion of control

2011-06-29T16:32:00.001-07:00

Washing machines, ovens, smart phones, Starbucks, McDonalds, consistent electricity, hot water, super stores, microwaves. These are a few things I’ve experienced again after not being around them for a very long time. It is very strange to be used to cold showers and cooking over a fire and a limited choice of food and washing clothes by hand, and suddenly it all changes, and life becomes much easier, at least on the surface. It is strange to me that I am comfortable at Hard Rock Café at a folk concert and also deep in a Ugandan village, eating plantains and rice with my hands. It is strange that I am comfortable driving a fancy, smooth-running car down the pristine Phoenician highways and also on the back of a Ugandan motorcycle, no helmet on, riding sideways while wearing a skirt or carrying a child on my back. My life is full of so many seeming contradictions; experiences that are all so incredibly different from each other. I feel very blessed that I feel at home in such different places among such diverse people.

But there are very hard aspects of this life. My heart aches at missing people and places and traditions in Uganda. I felt the same way when I was there, away from the US and the people I love here. Because of the life I have been given, there are certain realities I will always have to deal with. All of the people I love will never be in the same place. An ocean will always separate me from many I consider family, many who are so dear to me. There will always be things I miss about the culture I am not currently living in. On the other hand, there will always be things I find frustrating or difficult about the place I am in. I think the sooner I come to terms with that, the better.

And I don’t just want to come to terms with it. I want to be joyful in whatever place I am calling home. I want to thrive in it; to be used in it for God’s purpose; I want to appreciate the norms about life in those places. It is a very hard thing at times, as anyone who’s experienced similar circumstances will know.

One thing God has been teaching me since being here is about what is important. About letting some things go, or at least letting go of the control I THINK I have over the situation or the person, or whatever the case may be. Basically He is teaching me more about His sovereignty and how He is the one who calls the shots and it is HIS mercy and grace and love that keeps me alive and gives me joy… it is nothing I myself have done or deserve. I deserve death and punishment or at least a separation from God, but He in His mercy doesn’t give me those things; He gives me so much more than I could ever imagine.

We serve such a good and unexpected God. I love the way He does things in way I never would have thought of or imagined. He really surprises me :) I hope I never lose that sense of wonder in who He is and this life He has given me. I would ask for your prayers in what God is doing in me right now, that I would be wise and patient and listen to Him and be obedient and not do things on my own initiative. Thank you for your support.

Emergency: Ugandan family in need

2011-05-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder at the things God allows. I wonder why He lets so many people suffer in so many different ways. But I also know that God is a God of redemption, of second chances, of making beauty from ashes. I trust Him; He has shown Himself faithful time and again.

Today I found out that my Ugandan family - Fred's aunt and uncle, the family I just spent 15 months with - has had something terrible happen to them. They had just paid for 3 months' rent when their landlord's sons came over and said they had to begin renovating the house. They gave them a day's warning and told them to leave. They have nowhere to go; no money with which to do that. So WITH THE FAMILY STILL INSIDE, they began taking all of the tiles off of the roof of their house. The house is open on top and it has been raining. You can imagine what ensued. Their house keeps leaking and flooding and there are still many people living inside of it. There were also dozens of bats living in their ceiling and it has made a giant, disgusting mess in their house. I am shocked at what they are having to go through and how they have been treated. I was just living in this house 2 short weeks ago. But for a few days difference, I would have been personally dealing with this situation.

They don't have money to move anywhere else at the moment. They need about $500 right now to move into a new place and pay a few months of rent in advance. Please, if you can help this family, donate through my Paypal account (the link is on the right of the page) and I will send the money to them. If you can, write 'Ugandan family' on the Paypal note and I'll make sure it gets to them. I cannot even imagine what they are dealing with right now. This is a good and godly family who has served the Lord for many years. Please pray with them as they try to move forward and help financially if you are able to.

I just called my host dad, Fred's uncle, who lives in that house. He said to me, "God will provide. It is when we struggle that He most manifests Himself." I want a faith like that. God works in ways we don't understand, that is one thing I DO understand.

Thanks so much, and God bless.

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To all who mourn in Israel, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory.
Isaiah 61:3

some requests & an update

2011-04-19T07:15:00.001-07:00

Wow! I can't believe we're approaching the end of April. Time is flying VERY fast for me, I'm not sure about you! As I speak I am planning on heading back to Phoenix in mid-May, though I've not yet bought my ticket. That's coming up very soon! There are a few requests I'd like to humbly make of you, a few things I'd like to make everyone aware of, in case you are able/willing to help.

-please pray for me as I wrap some things up here and say goodbye for a while/transitioning

-please also pray for the ministry that Fred and I are beginning; that is a major reason I am coming back to visit (more details to come on that)

-I will be needing to earn some money (in addition to raising support/ministry money) while I'm back - so if you have any work I can help you with/baby sitting/pet sitting/house sitting/ anything of that kind, please let me know.

-I am in need of a car and a phone if anyone has either of those I can borrow for the time I'm there (May-December) or ANY amount of time

There are probably things I'm forgetting but those are the major ones, I believe! Thank you for reading this, for keeping up with me, and for your prayers. I hope to see many of you while I'm back!

I'm alive! :)

2011-04-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in the beginning of February:

I was just laying on my bed, having so many thoughts in my head, when I realized it might be a good outlook to write a blog and thus share those thoughts with the general public. That’s usually a good idea, right?

I have been helping out most days at Smile Africa, the orphanage I have mentioned in previous blogs. It can be a very overwhelming place: hundreds of kids, a lack of proper care, horrible home situations, more need than any one organization can handle. I came home crying the first time I went there. Over the months I have become more accustomed to things though there are still parts which are overwhelming. I’ve been so proud of the other missionaries who work there, especially one girl named Kayla. She has been at Smile since October and she is just a natural there. She loves the kids there more than you could imagine and is constantly thinking of ways to improve their situation and contributing in any way she can. The biggest thing she does, I think, is just love. She is quite an inspiration to me. I have become good friends with her over the past few months and it has been a huge blessing. God has used us in each other’s lives in ways we never would have imagined. Every day I am excited to see her and spend time with her as we take care of these little ones.

I am mostly in the baby room, and I have met my favorite baby. He only started coming about a month ago and his name is Paulo. He is just the cutest little thing EVER, with a big dimple on his right cheek and a little gap in his front teeth. When he smiles there is nothing you wouldn’t give this kid, I swear. I fell in love with that kid I think the second or third day I saw him and we’ve been inseparable since. Just try to take him away from me! Haha. But he is just adorable and I can’t get enough of him. He has had trouble going to sleep at naptime so finally I tried the baby burrito. I don’t know if anyone is familiar with this. It’s something I learned at the last preschool I worked at. You wrap the baby in a blanket tight enough so they can’t move their limbs (it’s not as cruel as it sounds!) and then just hold them and rock them until they eventually have nothing for it but to fall asleep. It works every time for Paulo! So it was great to discover that.

Recently I have discovered more of Paulo’s home situation and of course it’s a heartbreaking one. His parents are both still alive and they live with him in a very poor neighborhood just a 5 minute walk from Smile Africa. There are several buildings with many little rooms within them, and usually each family stays in a room all together. It’s a very cramped and dirty and sad existence, especially to the western/American eye. I have met both of his parents now. His mother speaks no English and his dad speaks enough to have a simple conversation. From what I can gather and what I’ve heard, they are both alcoholics and my friend Kayla has even seen his mom holding Paulo, stumbling around drunk and clearly not taking proper care of him. It’s extremely likely she beats Paulo, which I can’t even think about or I get really angry and frustrated and sad. What makes a parent to beat their 9-month-old baby, I cannot imagine. When I think about the situation Paulo goes home to every day I want to cry or throw something or demand justice. Yet he is one of hundreds just at Smile, which then multiplies throughout this town, country, continent, and ultimately all over the world. I don’t know of any country that doesn’t have a problem with poverty, though I know some cases are more extreme than others.

All of this and so much more goes through my head and I wonder what to do. I wonder how much difference we are making, a few girls at an orphanage helping a dozen babies, when there are so many more who will go hungry or get abused or die that day, that we won’t even get to, that we aren’t even aware of. I keep having the starfish story come to my mind. You know, that story about a man who goes out to the shore of the ocean and begins throwing starfish back in to safety as the tide is going out. Someone asks him why he bothers because the shore is littered with starfish and there is no way he is even going to make a dent in the number that need to be rescued. But he answers that even if he only threw one back, it would mean life for that starfish. Whichever ones he can help, he helps. And he focuses on those, not the ones that he can’t reach. Hopefully others will come and help and make a dent in the number of starfish rescued, but that man is not responsible for that; he only does what he can. I feel like that’s a decent picture of what we are dealing with here. Sometimes we talk about how frustrating it is, how overwhelming it is to think of all the suffering people there are that we won’t get to. But mostly we think of how we can continue helping the ones we have in our care, the ones who are put in front of us. It makes a difference to those “starfish”, to those children.

I know handling any of this would not be possible without God being the anchor of my soul. That is a picture He has brought frequently to my mind lately, that He is what anchors me to the truth and to hope; my constant comfort when all others fail me. I can’t imagine trying to navigate this life in general, and especially the last year in Uganda, without knowing He is my rest, my strength, my Savior.

I have been reminded lately of Romans 5:8, “God demonstrated His love to us in this: that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That hit me like a ton of bricks this week, for some reason. It is such a massive display of grace and love, what Jesus did; there are times I can barely think of it without becoming overwhelmed with gratitude and awe. I love Him so much. I love that He redeems and sanctifies and forgives and heals and restores and brings hope to the most hopeless of situations. I serve an amazing God, and I want to continue to do so for the rest of my life.

This I wrote at the beginning of April:

I’ve been so bad at blogging and I really apologize for that. There is constantly so much going on and it has become increasingly harder to sit down and write about what is happening. I do want to become better at writing once again. Whenever you talk to me, feel free to remind me about that! It’s always really encouraging to hear people talk about reading my blogs and that it affects them in some way. I love that; it’s a big blessing.

Life has been moving on, in some usual and unusual ways. Fred has been at his new job for almost 3 months now. He likes the city and the people he works with. He is having trouble with a couple of aspects there but in general he likes the work and he’s good at it (though I am a bit biased when it comes to him :). He says he gets bored on his days off, which I think is funny! I just went to visit him for a week and that was great. I appreciated seeing where he’s living (he’s renting a small room), seeing his office and meeting his coworkers. Paul, Fred’s boss’ boss, was also in town last week with his wife Ruth, and it was wonderful to see them. They were a missionary couple in Namibia when I was there and just some of my favorite people ever (even if they ARE British!). Fred and I have agreed to get married next year and each do some things to prepare for that for the rest of this year.

We aren’t in a good position financially and Fred is still getting used to his job and the environment. After some time and talking, we agreed it would be a great thing for me to start a project/ministry of my own that would hopefully be funded internationally and begun here in Uganda. Long story short, I am planning on being in the US (mostly Phoenix) to fundraise and get the word out about the ministry the second half of this year. I do not have specific dates yet, but I hope to be in Phoenix by May or June and be there until December, then spend Christmas in Chile with my dad and family there, and be back in Uganda by the end of January. It probably sounds crazy to many people; I know it’s a lot for me to think about, though Phoenix and Chile are both places I am very familiar with! So I will be doing a bit of continent jumping this year.

I would love to give you a bit more information about the ministry I want to start, for whoever is interested. It’s funny because I don’t even remember writing about the starfish story in the blog section above; that was several months ago. Yet the name of my ministry, I decided a few weeks ago, is going to be The Starfish Project. I kept thinking about that idea of how you can’t help everyone, and you’ll go crazy trying, but that there have been specific children or groups of people placed in my life here in Uganda, and those are the people I can start with. I feel like it is easy to get discouraged when your scope of vision is too large or you try with starting to help a huge group of people. For example, if you say, “I want to get all the children of Phoenix off the street” or “I want every AIDS orphan to have a home”. Those are beautiful ideas and of course noble causes; people that desperately need help. But it is easy to get overwhelmed and swept off course when the vision is really broad. What has helped me is to remember that every person helped is valuable, and it shouldn’t only be numbers that organizations or ministries are concerned with.

One of the biggest things I’ve seen families here struggle with is paying for their children’s school fees. Even families where both parents are alive, at home, and working struggle with this issue. There is a much longer and involved story as to why this is a problem in Africa, one which I hope to share with many of you when I’m in the States. But for now I just wanted to get some basic information out to you and begin telling you about what I would like to do this year.
I want to begin getting children sponsored to start attending school, or to continue attending in cases where they have begun. I’d like to start with children that I personally know, and start out small, though I pray the ministry will grow with time and as God directs and allows. While in Phoenix I am planning on talking to as many people, churches, schools, and businesses that I can, for 3 financial purposes: 1) to get people sponsoring specific children with a long-term commitment, 2) to begin a general fund for the ministry for various expenses, and 3) to raise enough monthly support for myself as I return to live in Uganda. Of course one of the important things in going back is so that I can have more prayer support and encouragement from people that I already have a relationship with. I would love you to begin considering whether this is something you would like to be a part of, and have time with you while I’m in the States. If you have any questions, encouragement, or anything, please let me know!

I’ll finish there so that I get something out in the blog world before any more time passes. Looking forward to seeing so many of you soon! Thanks for keeping up! PS- I do need $400-500 more in order to buy my plane ticket, so if anyone would be willing to help out with that, I’d really appreciate it.

each man's life touches so many others.

2010-12-28T10:35:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to stop beginning my posts with "Uganda #" because I am now staying in Uganda, I am not planning on leaving anytime soon! This is my new home. And that comes with a lot of tears, and emotions, and difficulties, and adjustments. But it also means God is doing crazy and wonderful and exciting things with my life, and I cannot thank Him enough for that.

this is just a small update. I am still helping out at Smile Africa some days and at Awinjo some days, helping kids learn the keyboard. that has been a challenge since it has been a long time since I have sat down and played piano! but it's been good. it's good to meet more people and to branch out more and to feel useful. my prayer requests right now would be that I would love God and His people more passionately, and selflessly. not to wonder what is in it for me or what do I get in return, but to love and serve God and His people just because He loves me and I want to be faithful to Him.

Fred just got an amazing job in Soroti, a city about 4 hours north west of Tororo, and he'll be starting in mid-January. that will definitely be a new dimension of our relationship! I am so excited for him and proud of him. he will be doing something meaningful for a wonderful organization. the last job he had, he was miserable at. him moving to Soroti means we will be apart for most of the time between now and getting married (which we still don't have a date for), which is the hardest part about this, currently. but God is good and faithful and I know He will be teaching me things during this time that He specifically wants me to learn. so, praise to Him, He knows what He is doing, He is in control, and His plans are good.

being here for Christmas was hard. I miss my family, my friends, Christmas lights, wonderful hot drinks from Starbucks, cheesy Christmas music, the tree lots full of pine, and so much more. I did get to watch half of It's a Wonderful Life with Fred, but we got interrupted and couldn't finish. hoping to finish it with him sometime soon. there were a lot of tears shed by me over Christmas as I was dealing with some of these things. please continue praying for Fred and I as we transition through so many things and deal with cultural differences and barriers.

also, I am basically out of money and still need to pay my host family and have living expenses at least until we get married! any help is more than appreciated! Paypal link on the right hand side of the page. love and miss you all. anytime you send a note, call, or communicate in any way, it is very much appreciated. :)

Uganda #9: Do Not Be Unduly Dismayed

2010-11-29T04:17:00.000-08:00

We should not be unduly dismayed if we find ourselves passing through deeply unsettling periods, in which nothing flows as smoothly as we had expected, and everything we have been led to believe and hope for appears to be taken from us. When the Lord is about to accomplish something special, He allows us to see the difficulties first. But when He is about to do something magnificent, it usually appears completely impossible.
-Robert Weston, “Intimacy and Eternity”

As usual, I have taken too long without updating this blog! Agh, I am so sorry! I know there are many of you have been waiting and wondering what is going on (at least in more detail). I really apologize; there has been a lot going on here and so many changes in the past few months. Without further ado, let me update you on all things Uganda.

I’m not sure which things I’ve included in emails to you all and which I’ve only told to individual people. So, let me summarize it all, and for anything that is repetition for you, I’m sorry! :) On the last blog I mentioned the possibility of ending things with OCA in December. Something crazy and pretty unexpected happened in October that really changed things at the orphanage. I got a call one Sunday afternoon saying that the landlady of the house the kids were living in came over and locked everyone out of the house because they had failed to pay rent and they owed for three months. It wasn’t entirely out of nowhere since the orphanage has struggled the whole time I’ve been in Uganda to do things like pay bills and keep a regular supply of food around. Anthony and I had talked about taking the children back to their families in the village at the end of term in December. That is a longer story, but basically, all of the children have family in nearby villages that are able to take care of them. They were originally moved to Tororo and put in a house in order to meet sponsorship requirements from the US. We thought it would be a better idea to take them back to their homes and thus avoid all the cost it was taking to keep them all together (paying rent, bills, food etc). But unfortunately before we could make any solid decisions about that, the kids were forced to leave their house. It was a very sad situation. It all happened really quickly.

After that happened, I had so many emotions going through my head. I was feeling sad for what happened to the kids. I was feeling helpless and frustrated; what were the last 8 months for? It was a really rough couple of days. I felt purposeless. I wrestled with a lot. What the kids ended up doing is going back to their villages (they mainly come from 2 villages so many of them already knew each other) later that day. There was really no other good option for them. So the entire purpose, essentially, of why I had come to Uganda was suddenly gone from one day to the next. Yes, I was considering leaving OCA in December anyway, but this happened in October, giving me a lot of unexpected free time. I don’t have the answers. I don’t quite know what’s next. Fred and I have been tossing around the idea of starting a ministry of our own. There are a lot of NGOs/non-profits/ministries in Tororo and in neighboring cities that I could probably join up with. I’ve also considered that God may want me focused on other things during this time, since at the time this happened, Fred and I were planning on getting married in February.

There was also a big change with mine and Fred’s plans the same week as the things with the orphanage happened. To make a long story short, we found out that the presidential election in Uganda is taking place on February 18, and we were planning on getting married on the 19th. We knew right away we would have to change the date (this country is still unstable in some ways and nobody knows what will happen around the time of elections) but we had just started discussing alternate dates when Fred and I met with an American couple for counseling. They heard our story and advised us to take things a bit slower; to temporarily remove a wedding date and take that pressure off; to get more counseling; to establish a better friendship and foundation for our marriage; to understand the gravity and seriousness of what we were entering. That advice was very difficult for me to hear at first but it was an easy transition for Fred. He’d already been pretty stressed about our financial situation and was beginning to wonder how he would provide for me once we were married. Fred and I talked things over and we decided that what the couple said made sense; that it wouldn’t hurt to wait longer; and we agreed to take some more time doing the things they had advised (and also it gives Fred more time to find a better job and be more financially stable) and ‘regroup’ in January or February, and from there we will pick a wedding date. So, the wedding is not ‘called off’ by any means, it’s just being postponed a while. We would also like to wait until after the elections anyway and see that things in the country are a bit more settled before we ask my family to fly in internationally for the wedding. It is a complicated situation, but I know my God can handle anything and that His plans are for good and that none of this is outside of His control. That is incredibly comforting in a world that is filled with uncertainty, chaos, and sin. Knowing that Fred and I serve that same God and that He is the One that binds us together is better than anything else I can think of.

So I had some time of everything being up in the air; things with the orphanage and things with Fred and not having a wedding date, and just some difficult times. Then God beautifully provided several things. Rachelle (the wife of the American couple who is counseling us) heard I was looking for somewhere to help during this interim and she introduced me to an American man named Ken who has an orphanage/discipleship program here in town. He has about 30 kids living on his compound in 2 houses. Long story short, I have talked to him and have offered to help him in any way that I can. I am looking at helping out teach music/worship during their school holiday (which has already started and goes until early February) and possibly helping out with some logistics and organizational things. The same week I met Ken (last week), I also went to visit a place here called Smile Africa, which feeds and cares for (and schools, during the academic year) about 400 kids from impoverished situations. A lot of them are orphans or street children. They also take care of some infants and even do classes for widows in things like sewing. They also have a clinic on site. It’s a great organization and I am thinking of helping out with the babies there. I’ve not been there to help out yet, only to see the place and find out more about it from the founder, a lady named Pastor Ruth. So, God really provided some places that are in need of help that are right here in town. Please pray for me as I take the next steps and try to get settled in what I’m doing next. The future is a bit up in the air as far as a specific wedding date, what Fred and I will do for a living, and where we will live :) you know, just minor details. Please keep us in your prayers!

Two side notes and then I’m done. I am almost out of the money that I raised to come here. I have like $20 left in my Paypal account and I’ve just requested the last of the tax-deductible funds that I had raised before I left. And I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, and Fred and I obviously aren’t married yet, and I still need to keep paying for things here like rent for my host family, transportation, and all kinds of random things that come up because I live in Africa. Any help would be appreciated. The orphanage/OCA is also having a Christmas party for the kids who went back to their villages and if you want to donate towards that (they buy the kids food, clothes, school supplies etc) please use Paypal (link on the right hand side of the page) and put a note on your donation that indicates it’s for OCA/Christmas party.

Last side note is a praise: I thought I would have to completely miss out on Thanksgiving festivities and then a few days before Turkey Day, I met that man Ken, who also has a couple living on the same compound who are from New York. They always do a big Thanksgiving thing so they invited me! I got to hang out with Americans and eat turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin bread, cranberry sauce, and about 6 different fabulous desserts! I felt soooo blessed and undeserving of that! It was wonderful. Now, to see about Christmas….

Love you all. Thanks for continuing to follow up with me. Our God is great :)

Pictures

2010-09-28T07:35:00.001-07:00

Uganda #8: The Continued Saga of a Life Covered by Grace

2010-09-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

(Bit of an opening addendum. I just feel like I have to add this before my ‘actual’ blog begins. Tonight I just had one of those great moments of peace and perfection. I had just finished shopping for some things for Fred’s birthday breakfast tomorrow and I was sitting in town waiting for my dad to call on my cell phone. He called just as I sat down to have some milk tea at a local shop. So I sat, talking to my dad as he was in Washington state and I was/am in Uganda, sipping milk tea with the sun setting and the sky alternating between the orange glow of the sun and the deepening gray of the clouds. Tororo Rock was also in my view and it is beautiful anytime of the day. While I was walking home, it started drizzling rain and it was just breathtaking. God, thank You for moments like those.) XXX

Dear ones, hello. I must begin by apologizing extensively for not having written in so long. I believe my last entry was as I was headed to Europe. That was in the middle of June, and so much has happened since then (as tends to be the way of things). Unfortunately I will have to Cliff’s Notes or condense a lot of things so that I can cover more ground. Let me get right to it. XXX
From the middle of June until the end of July, I was in Europe visiting several people. I spent a week with RheaAnne, a very close friend from Phoenix who is working in Vienna. Time with her was incredible; it was so good to see her after a year and as we don’t know when we’ll see each other next, we really tried to take advantage of the time we had. She gave me tours of the city, we relaxed at her beautiful loft, had wonderful food, and giggled like crazy. Rhea then left for the US and I shifted to my brother Paul’s apartment, also in Vienna. I spent about 10 days with him. He showed me the ropes of the U-Bahn (metro/subway), we hung out with his girlfriend Lisa (I finally got to make beef stroganoff, my favorite dish!), exchanged new music and Youtube videos, and enjoyed the Viennese summer. Then my mom came and met up with us and the three of us were together for another 10 days. We saw some more sights, heard a Viennese orchestra in the heart of the city, I tried some beer that I actually liked (had about three sips of Paul’s!), and just enjoyed each other’s company. One of my favorite experiences with them was walking around town one afternoon when it suddenly poured out of nowhere. I was wearing a sun dress and flip flops but I thoroughly enjoyed running around and getting wet. We were soaked as we entered Paul’s favorite sushi joint but it was fun. My last week in Europe was spent in Northern Ireland with a dear friend, Holly, who is living with her new husband about 45 minutes from Belfast in a gorgeous little town [[[NAME?!??]]]. I had such sweet times with her and her hospitality and joviality was very much appreciated. We toured a castle, she finally taught me how to play chess, we watched beautiful sunsets from their backyard, and she spoiled me with some iced chai tea lattes- DANG IT I missed those!! XXX
I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to have experienced everything I did the 5 weeks I was in Europe. I am so grateful for the people I got to see, all of whom it had been long since I had been with. It was a beautiful trip and I am so lucky to have taken it. As may be expected, however, I really missed things… and certain people back in Uganda during that time. I relied on Fred to keep me updated on things with the orphanage and how things were going while I was gone. He was fantastic about keeping me up to date and taking care of everything. I was very blessed to have him help with that. The kids definitely struggled while I was gone, especially with things like food and basic supplies. I posted a blog about it and several people donated- thank you so much for that. XXX
I’m not sure how much to elaborate on this blog about my relationship with Fred. In Uganda it is definitely a taboo to talk about any of these things, really, until you are engaged. I am used to a different way of handling things, and one of the things involved in our relationship is finding a balance between our two cultures, which can be irritating at times, extremely difficult at others. But God has been so gracious and forgiving with us, especially with me, as we walk down this road. Every day, it seems, I am learning something else I love about Fred and discovering more about his character and the man that he is. I’m incredibly grateful to have him around, and more specifically to have him as my boyfriend. We are walking this road somewhere between dating and engagement, friendship and marriage, if that makes sense. Please pray for us as we move forward and seek to honor God with our relationship. We’re both very excited for the future and the plans that He has for us. XXX
I got back to Uganda at the end of July. Fred and Deborah (one of my sisters) were there to greet me at the airport. It was incredible to see them. It was interesting as I rediscovered the smells and the sounds and the feel of Uganda again after being away for a while. I definitely missed so many aspects of this land and country and people. Now, after being back for over a month, it really feels like I never left. I love that. I love how God has orchestrated things and placed me with this family and given me someone like Fred and has allowed me to feel at home here, in a place that should be so foreign to me. The time since I have been back has been kind of all over the place. When I came back, the school term was almost finishing. I think I was back for 2 weeks before it ended. I got back basically just in time to help type up and print and deal with the end of term exams. That whole process was a little crazy, but it went really well. The kids are showing improvement and that is definitely encouraging. Term finished at the beginning of August and the kids from the orphanage were able to then spend a month visiting their families in surrounding villages. XXX
This is something a bit difficult to explain. I don’t know that I’ve included it in a blog before. I know most people won’t understand when I say that orphans went to visit their families. The concept of being an orphan is different here. You are called an orphan if one of your parents has died, even if the other, for example, is still alive and even able to support that child still. You are called a double orphan if both of your parents have died. It is very common for a child, orphaned or not, to go to school in a town or a city, even though most of their family may live in a village far from there. Education is much better in towns and cities, as you can imagine. So a lot of children end up living most of their time either in a boarding school or with extended family (usually an uncle/aunt or grandparent) while they are being educated. They will go visit their immediate family during their holidays/breaks. So that is what the kids just did. They started school again on the 6th. I’m not sure exactly which family members they stayed with, except that everyone had someone to go and visit. I’m very glad they got to do that, because it had been about 6 months since most of them had seen any of their families. XXX
The last month here has been different and interesting and a blessing. One of my sisters here, Deborah, just had her introduction. I don’t know if I’ve explained this before, but an introduction is like a public engagement party, and it is a BIG deal here, just as big as a wedding. An introduction is officially the future groom “introducing” his parents and family to his future bride’s family and it is when he brings the bride price/dowry for her. It is VERY big in this culture. Deborah introduced at the end of August, and the month preceding that was spent getting ready for it. There were weekly meetings of her essentially ‘bridal committee’ where people met to discuss what needed to be bought, how much money had been raised, making arrangements for things like tents and chairs and food and all of that. I had never experienced anything like that, a whole community and family coming together to arrange something like this, and it was pretty sweet. I’m told it works very similarly when you are preparing for a wedding, though I won’t really see any of that since it is Deborah’s fiancée, Robert, and his family and friends who will plan that. XXX
Two very special women were around for Deborah’s introduction. One is also called Debra- she is a terrific lady who’ll spend a total of around 6 months in Uganda and I met her while she was still living here in Tororo. She’s working with a few different schools and ministries and is from small-town Iowa! She’s a delight- so loving and patient and compassionate, and I have really enjoyed becoming friends with her. The other woman around was Brittany McFadden, a good friend of mine from Phoenix who some of you know. She was a joy to have around and was actually able to stay 2 weeks here with me. Both ladies were good sports and dressed up in traditional wear for the introduction (long, fabric-laden dresses called gomases) and even joined the bridesmaids for one of the dance processions! So fun. The visit from Britt had been long-awaited but neither of us knew it would happen for sure until she basically showed up in town! Haha. Needless to say we had a wonderful time together catching up on life, encouraging each other, staying up late chatting, painting each other’s nails, discussing God and the amazing things He does. She was such a blessing to me in countless ways. As kind of an icing on the cake, her being here allowed me to see Fred around one of my friends for an extended period of time and I was so pleased with the way the two of them got along and became friends and the ease with which Fred interacted with her. I don’t know if any of my worries on that subject were ever legitimate. But yes, her visit was wonderful for so many reasons. It ended with me accompanying her just across the border into Kenya (I live about 25 minutes from one part of the Kenyan border) and spending the night in a little village with a family she knows. They spoiled me like CRAZY, making all kinds of wonderful food, heating my bathing water for me, and I even killed my first chicken there! ;) The star-studded night sky there left me in awe of our Creator and came with a sense of peace it is impossible to describe. XXX
I don’t know quite what is next for me. I want to stay on with OCA (the orphanage) for the time being and help there however I can. I will definitely stay there through the end of this year, as that is what my original commitment was. My concept of missionary/volunteer work and what it looks like to live among the people you are serving has really been challenged by God and it is a constant learning process for me. As mine and Fred’s relationship progresses and becomes more serious, many questions arise. Will I continue at OCA? Will I become involved with a different ministry? Where will Fred work? Where and how will we live? Will I need to keep support raising? This is just a bit of what is going through my head, and I think I will end there just asking for your prayers on all of this. That is the most important thing I can ask you to do. As far as immediate things, there are constant needs. I would like to be able to buy more food in bulk for the kids at the orphanage and money is running low. Needs come up all the time around me and I try to navigate what I can do and how I can help. Please keep me and the people of Tororo in your heart and mind as you consider helping out. Thanks for listening. God bless, Were mise luan, Yesu opaki. :)

**closing addendum: the last 24 hours have been hard. I found out my little nephew Chris (my Ugandan sister's son, who is 4) had to be taken to the hospital with severe malaria, especially because of his fever. he spent the night there yesterday. I went and visited him this morning and he was doing a lot better. but these kinds of things happen all the time. this morning I also got a call saying Scovia, Raphael's wife (the two of them take care of the kids at the orphanage) was in the hospital and was having bloody diarrhea, and her malaria was really acting up. She is 7 months pregnant, so is definitely in a delicate state. I went and visited her as well this morning and got another taste of the main hospital, which is a disgrace to hospitals. I have to leave soon, I have to get home before dark, but I just wanted to ask for more prayer. and more donations, honestly. there is so much more I want to do here but can't because of finances. my own personal living money is also getting very low so I would like to put that out to you. thanks for listening. I love you. **

Uganda #7: Help Needed

2010-07-02T05:01:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

I write you today feeling a bit helpless and sad, but knowing that ultimately God is in control, which I am infinitely grateful for. I don't feel like being wordy today; just to briefly let you know what is happening and then let you act as you wish to. Fred is taking care of things for me in Tororo while I am gone and I just got an email from him. It said that the kids at the orphanage are completely out of firewood and charcoal (the two things they'd use to cook) and also beans, which is one of their two staple foods.

There is a bit of money I am going to try to send them via Western Union. But I am fervently asking you to consider donating something today. Even if it is $1 or $5, it would really be a help. Would you think and pray about it and decide by the close of this weekend? I would ask you to consider this matter urgent. What if your own son or daughter were going hungry? Would you continue to let them do so? These kids are precious and valuable. Please consider helping them out. Donations, as always, can be made through the PayPal link on the right hand side of my page.

thanks so much and God bless.
Cathi

Uganda #6: A short summary

2010-06-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

We live in a world of contrasts, don’t we? You’ve got to hand it to the world; it’s definitely diverse. Have you ever thought about the variety of foods we can eat, or languages we can learn, or places we can live in, or songs we can sing? In this world, the lucky people can have a chance to experience so many different things. Maybe you don’t consider yourself lucky. My definition of ‘lucky’ or ‘blessed’ keeps getting messed with by God. Have you had a meal today? How about more than one (or will you have more than one by the end of it)? If you’re reading this you must have Internet access. Have you ever gotten to choose from a host of restaurants to eat at? When’s the last time you remember saying something like, “I just had that last week” or “That doesn’t sound good to me” or “I’m tired of eating that”? Was it within the last week? Month? There are so many simple things that I think we all take for granted. I do the same thing, even though I live in a poor town surrounded by suffering people who I can’t just brush aside.

Twenty-four hours ago I was still staying in my host sister Deborah’s room (think reaaallly tiny apartment with no bathroom) in Kampala, waiting to make my plane for Europe. Just yesterday I was bathing with cold water out of a basin in a concrete cut-out bathroom with no door. Just yesterday I hand washed the bedsheets I had used at Deborah’s, her towel and a few other things. It took me over an hour, then most of the afternoon for everything to dry. Just yesterday Deborah helped me make my way through the dirty, noisy streets of Kampala, dragging my suitcase behind her and telling me to watch out and carry my backpack in the front as robbery there is a big issue (I had my phone stolen right out of my pocket the other day – more on that story later). Just yesterday I was living the life of an African woman; nothing about my life was different than any of the other ladies in surrounding houses, except maybe that Deborah had insisted on cooking my food for me. And this afternoon, just a day later, as I type this I am sitting in Gatwick airport in London, waiting to catch a plane to Vienna. I just had my first chai latte in four months. Yes, it was good, and yes, I missed it, but should I have spent the $4.50 on it? That could have bought some things for my African family. It could have bought a lot of charcoal for cooking many meals, or a few days’ worth of meat for my family.

I don’t know if I can live in Western culture again. It would be REALLY difficult. I’m not saying I would tell God no if He asked me to move back, whether it be to the US or Europe or wherever. But I know how easily I can spoil myself and let myself spend unnecessary money and how quickly I can forget about the millions, probably billions of others around the world who will never get to experience any of what I’ve gotten to. I know it’s possible to be a Christian and to live in a materialistic, selfish world and be unmaterialistic and selfless. With God’s grace, I’ve seen it done. I myself haven’t done a fantastic job of it. I think God knew this and maybe thought it would be wiser to just throw me into a totally foreign culture that would force me to be grateful for what I’ve had handed to me in my life and give me a healthy dose of reality.

I wish I could adequately explain to you what God has been doing in me the past four months. I wish I could visibly show you the lines I’ve acquired on my face from all the laughing I’ve done, or show you the way my heart has molded to be more like these people’s, or the way I’ve fallen in love with a community. How can I describe to you the sunsets I’ve seen as I’m riding home on a boda or the star-filled skies I’ve gazed at in awe? How can I explain to you how it feels to be able to greet people in their own language, or to be welcomed in their village like I’m one of them, or be so loved by my neighbor’s baby daughter that she squeals with delight when she sees me?

I’ve only left yesterday but as a huge part of my heart stayed there, it’s hurting pretty badly right now. As much as I’m looking forward to spending time with Rhea, my brother, and Holly, this ache that reminds me of the family I left in Uganda will not disappear, and I will be anxiously counting the days until I can see them again. It feels wrong, it feels strange to be so far away from them, to only be able to hear their voices over a shaky Skype connection every so often. When I left Tororo a few days ago, my host mom said (translated by my sister into English for me, of course) that I should not see going to Europe as that I’m leaving Uganda, but that I’m going on a short trip and I will be returning home when I go back to Uganda. The concept she emphasized is that I’m coming back HOME. It has been months now since I’ve stopped referring to or thinking of the US as home, and begun thinking of Uganda as home. When explaining to people where I was going, I would say, “And I will be home at the end of July.”

When did my time in Uganda cease being a mission trip or something I was doing to help people or some sort of exotic adventure, and when did it become me simply living amongst a people as I slowly took on their characteristics? When did this stop being something I signed up for, and when did it become something that has wrapped its loving arms around my heart?

Maybe it happened sometime in between boarding a plane and creating a friendship. Maybe it happened sometime in between paying my family rent and washing my brother’s clothes. Maybe it happened sometime in between watching a culture from a distance and then eventually having everyone, including me, forgetting that I’m white.

I can’t tell you the way I want to how my time here has impacted me. I cannot explain why I am more comfortable squatting in a pit latrine (think outhouse) than I am with the automatic toilets in this London airport. The flip flops I’m currently wearing have dirt caked on them from the last time I wore them in Uganda. I don’t want to wash them. I don’t want to wash the dirt out of my shoes any more than I want to wash my African family’s love from my memory.

The night before I left, we all sat in a circle after dinner and Bishop, my host dad, asked everyone to say something to me before I went. Some of the boys were shy, some were eloquent, some were funny. What mama had to say made me tear up. What Bishop had to say made me thankful and undeserving and humbled me beyond belief. I sat there wondering what I had done to deserve being made so welcome in a stranger’s home. The beautiful thing about being children of God is that we’re all in the same family. From Amsterdam or Anaheim, from New York or Nairobi, we are all the same under the banner of God’s love. And living with these amazing people for the past four months has given me such a clear view of that. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

I promised you I’d tell you the stolen phone story. Deb and I were walking through downtown Kampala a few days ago picking up some things for dinner. All I had in my pocket was my cell phone; Deb was carrying the rest of my things in her purse. I didn’t even think to be worried about thieves; call it naïve with a dash of ignorance, sprinkled with defiance. Anyway, Deb was holding my hand while we were walking, and out of nowhere two men walked straight at us, making me let go of Deborah’s hand. The way they came at us was completely obvious and certainly not an accident. But before I could do anything, one of the men had put his hand in my pocket and taken my cell phone. A second later I realized it and told Deb. She immediately turned to the man (who because of the crowds hadn’t managed to run off yet) and said, “You give us back that phone!” and the man kind of gave her the look a small child would give if he’d been caught, and promptly gave her back the phone! Can you believe it? I didn’t know what to think! But I thought, it’s typical of God to let something ridiculous and wonderful like that happen. Fred and I started counting and we witnessed like 10 miracles the day we travelled between Tororo and Kampala. We had walked the dirt road between my house and the main road and finally were going to catch a boda to take us into town. Then who comes driving up but a family friend who goes to Fred’s church, who gave us a ride into town. When we were on the road, we saw two very bad accidents involving semis and they could have easily either involved us or affected our travel time, of which neither happened. I lost track of everything God provided and did that day but, by the end of the day we were at 10. It was pretty fantastic.

I think I’ve decided to finally write a short blog for once (I know I know, some of you are very excited!) but I want to touch on one more subject before I conclude. Some of you are already aware of this and some have no idea. Well, Cathi Geisler is in her first relationship. What? Yes. Crazy! I know. I am dating Fred, who is my host family’s nephew and someone I’ve mentioned a few times in my writings. The whole story is long and involved but suffice it to say we started dating at the end of May and things are good and in full swing now. Half the time I don’t understand why he’s wanting to pursue me or why he wants to stick around but I am learning to accept that it is true and really enjoy our relationship. Everything is new still but for those who I’ve talked to you know that the cultural view (and by extension Fred’s view) of relationships and marriage is quite different than the Western view. I met what was basically Fred’s entire family about a week and a half ago and as far as they’re concerned, I’m Fred’s future wife. Could I be, though? Honestly, yes. It is very possible. I have said for a long time that I would love to marry the first person I date. I have never seen the point in kissing a bunch of frogs… ie having a series of relationships and the only end result is that you “grew from it” or “learned what you didn’t want in a spouse”. I’m not saying those can’t be good side benefits from relationships that just didn’t work out, but… I have never wanted that or seen the need for it. I’ve prayed for a while that if God could allow my first relationship to be my only one, I would find that beautiful and wonderful and it would certainly save me from a lot of drama and heartbreak (which we find in life anyway). So, I think all I will add is please pray for us. There is of course different kinds of pressure from people, and a host of differences between our cultures, and smaller things like some languages barriers or different perceptions of things. But God is good, and He is bigger than me and bigger than Fred and He can truly do whatever He wants with us. But I will tell you I am pretty deliriously happy most of the time, and Fred is an incredible man. I have in the past dreamed of marrying an African man, I just never truly saw it as a viable option. My God is creative.

I love you all and thanks for keeping up with me. Catch you next time! :)

Uganda #5: A statistic does not breathe

2010-05-20T06:15:00.001-07:00

I was walking to the orphanage one weekday during their holiday about two weeks ago. The closer I got to the building, the louder I could hear a child’s screams. Once I got to the house, I realized it was a boy from the orphanage crying, a boy named Brian who is about nine. Grace, one of the older girls, explained to me that he had gotten a burn wound a few days earlier and that one of the other children had just hit him right on his wound (I’m not sure if it was accidental or not). I asked to see Brian’s arm, where the wound was. My stomach turned. It was a wound about six inches long and 2 inches wide; it was bleeding freely, and looked like someone had taken a meat tenderizer to his arm. I quickly asked what he had been given or what had been done for him. Rose, another of the older girls, said they had used the Neosporin I had left with them, but there was no more left. He didn’t have a bandage or anything else on it to prevent infection or further injury. I gave Rose the equivalent of about $5 (it may have even been less) and she went and bought some anti-infection cream and bandages. She bandaged Brian up and within twenty minutes he was looking and feeling a lot better.

But should this have happened? And what would have happened if I hadn’t come that day? It didn’t seem like a big enough problem to people at the orphanage to call me for, otherwise I would have heard from them. And I’m not saying it’s their fault or they’re stupid. It’s just that people are used to this. They’re used to pretty bad injuries that they don’t really treat, and sometimes they get worse and worse until infection sets in. When Westernized cities have dozens of state-of-the-art hospitals scattered throughout them, should kids like Brian have a horrible burn wound that has gone untreated due to lack of adequate facilities and funds? It makes me sick to think that this is the case. I’m used to putting Neosporin and maybe even a band-aid on even small cuts. I know from experience that anything can get infected, so it’s best to take that precaution. But what if you can’t afford Neosporin, or you’ve never been taught to use something like that, or there isn’t a hospital close enough for you to get to? Then what do you do?

I’m so glad God has me here, for more reasons than I can get into or explain. When you start thinking about the needs of the city you’re in, and then the state or country, and then the continent, and the world… it is very overwhelming. It can be discouraging and very depressing. I think that’s why God has given me smaller groups of people here that He’s allowed me to assist. The kids and adults at the orphanage, and my own host family and our neighbors. That is really the focus I see I’m supposed to have, at least right now. Even the needs in that small community of what, 50 people, can be overwhelming at times. I’ve had to say no to things many times when I so wish I could have said yes. My heart has been broken over so many things. But it isn’t productive or useful to dwell on all the things you can’t do and wish you could. For now, I feel God saying, ‘Concentrate on these two groups of people, love them with all you have, and when I want you to branch out more, I will let you know.’ That being said, we could use some more money over here :)

Something along these lines happened about a week ago, only this time it was with my neighbors, people who live a stone’s throw from where I sleep. To the right of our house there is a house with a landlord who has 2 families renting out rooms from him. One of the families is one we are very close to (myself and my host family). There are parents in their 50s, their daughter Christine, who’s about 20, their son Richard, who’s 16, and Christine’s baby daughter Eve, who I have posted pictures of before. The parents don’t speak English so I’ve had minimal interaction with them. Christine and Richard speak English, though, and I’ve gotten close to both of them. I’ve never heard the full story of how Eve was born and where her father is, but I know he is never around, and doesn’t help Christine out financially. This is veeerrryyy common around here (and not exactly rare in the US, either). Last term, the family couldn’t afford to send Richard to school, so he bummed around the house and helped out my host family with whatever they needed (washing things, digging in the garden, etc). He’s a really good kid. I think the father works, and the mother stays home and takes care of things around the house, and Christine stays home with Eve. They have an extremely small income. I knew things were hard for them, but it wasn’t until last week that it really hit me how bad it is.

Eve has been sick on and off for about two months. It makes me so sad every time I see her with a fever, or hear her cough, or even go days without seeing her because she’s so sick (Christine usually brings her over for long stretches during the day). She’s the cutest kid, and is SUCH a good girl, very happy and she loves everybody. Sometimes I’ll bring her juice or milk or something small to eat because I know she needs better food and the family has very little. This particular day I had bought Eve some milk in town, so I brought it over to Christine at about 8 o’clock that night. Let me paint a better picture for you. Their family rents two rooms of this guy’s house, but they aren’t rooms so much as large closets. They are the tiniest rooms you’ve ever seen; you can barely move around in them. The parents sleep in one room and Christine, Eve and Richard sleep in the other. (Richard has actually been eating and sleeping at our house more and more lately, and I don’t blame him.) My brother Caleb and I went over to give Eve the milk. We knocked on the door and didn’t hear anything for about a minute. Finally Christine came to the door and said they had been about to go to sleep. I asked if they had already eaten dinner. She said no, there was no food tonight, so they just went to bed. I forget what I said, but then Christine said that when there is no food, the best thing to do is to go to bed so you don’t have to deal with your hunger. I didn’t know how to respond. I gave her Eve’s milk and went back home. But there was no getting out of the fact that 75 feet from my house, a family I loved was going to bed hungry.

I knew I had to do something. So I went back into our kitchen and asked one of my sisters what I was having for dinner. Usually my family will eat a staple food called kalo (kind of like a consistency somewhere between playdoh and mashed potatoes… I truly cannot force myself to like this stuff) plus one or at the most two side dishes, usually greens or beans. But they always make at least two extra things for just me, which I think I will write more about sometime; it is very difficult for me to deal with that special treatment. Anyway, Regina (my sister) showed me I was having potatoes, beans, meat, and rice, I believe. I explained the situation with Christine to her and she looked a little confused at first, but finally she and my mom both said it was fine for me to take food to them. So I grabbed some of everything and we took it over to Christine’s family. Then I went back home, sat outside on our front porch, and cried. Then I went to my room and cried a lot more and prayed. I didn’t know what else to do. The shock of what I had just witnessed was too much.

It is one thing to hear statistics. ’10 children just died from malnutrition in third-world countries,’ ‘One-third of the world does not have access to clean water,’ things like that. But a statistic is not a person. A statistic does not breathe, it does not feel, it is a number on a piece of paper or words on a screen. You can listen to statistics or even see pictures or watch an interview with someone. But you can’t touch them, you can’t see the lines on their face when they smile, you can’t shake their hand, and you don’t witness them telling you one night that they are going to sleep because they don’t have food. These things need to become real to us. But I don’t see any way of them becoming real outside of experiencing them, meeting the people that are actually suffering, becoming a part of their lives, even living among them. Allow me to share with you one of my favorite passages of scripture (oh, there she goes with the Bible again! What’s the deal?!) which I think applies perfectly to this situation.

Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him; and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? If you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones, and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

-Isaiah 58:6-7, 10-11

The first part of this passage is what I want to draw your attention to. I added the second part because God is good and He chooses to reward us and bless us beyond comprehension, but that is NOT why we should be doing the things He asks us to do. It is pretty clear to me what we are supposed to be doing in this world. Free the captives. Clothe the naked. Feed the hungry. Love the forsaken. I could quote a dozen passages from the New Testament of Jesus saying these exact same things. And He didn’t just tell people to do these things, He actually DID them, putting flesh and blood on what God looks like and how He loves us. Being here has already given me about 600 different opportunities to do these things God asks us to do. In the light of what He’s done for us, these things should seem small to us. When Jesus has taken upon all of our sins, bearing the burden of our shame, taking on Himself the curse that was meant for all of us… anything we do in response to that should be JOYFUL, SELFLESS, and pure ECSTASY to us. That’s because we get to serve, in some SMALL way, the God who did for us what we could never do, what we WOULD never do. I didn’t plan to start preaching, but I feel this heavy on my heart and feel people need to hear this.

One of Bishop (my host dad)’s nephews, Joseph, grew up with this family, much in the same way as Fred grew up with this family, if you remember me talking about him. He’s in his late 30s or maybe 40 now, and he comes over all the time. He’s a terrific man, and I love when he’s around; I always enjoy talking to him. This morning we were having breakfast with him and he asked me by what year I thought all of it would end, would be resolved – poverty, hunger, homelessness, all the things our world suffers from. 2015? He asked. Here is how I answered him, with some elaboration for this blog. “No, there’s just no way. And you know why? We’re too selfish. Everything, all of that, could be eradicated in probably a year – hunger, much disease, poverty. Some people have so much while others have nothing. But we’re too selfish to do anything about it. There are a few people who are willing to be selfless and to give of themselves and are willing to go with less things. But it’s not enough to make a major impact. So unfortunately, things are just going to keep getting worse and worse until Jesus comes. I don’t see it happening any other way.” Maybe you agree with this, maybe you are flaming mad right now in frustration. I don’t know. I’m telling you what I’ve seen, what keeps happening over and over. And I am part of the problem. I’m not telling you I’m a saint and that you are the devil. I’m just as guilty as everybody else. I am not exempt because I’m helping some people in Uganda. I’m only here because of God’s plans, His goodness, and His wonderful mercy. This would not have been the path I would have chosen for myself, because it’s hard and it hurts and it’s uncomfortable and some days I want all of the pain and suffering to disappear. But at this point in my life, there is nowhere else I want to be. I don’t want to disconnect from this. I want to be right in the middle of it, getting dirty and sweating and playing with kids that have just peed on themselves and killing cockroaches in my bed, because it doesn’t matter. If you can get past the fact that because you were born in a certain place, or because you’ve been blessed with money, or because you’re white then you deserve to be comfortable and wealthy… that’s when God can REALLY use you.

Balance is hard for me. Anyone who knows me well knows I get passionate and I can jump to extremes and I can just really try to pound something into someone, though they may not want it. Let me clarify. I am not telling everybody to move to Uganda and come play with my pee-covered kids. I am not telling everybody to come sleep with the cockroaches or to sell your house and move into a van by the river. :) But I am saying that so many of us, and I’d venture to say, the vast MAJORITY of us, are not living out what God has called us to. We are not passionate about the things that His heart is, we are not sold out for the Gospel, we are proud, arrogant, selfish, and greedy 90% of the time. This goes for me too! Praise Him, for He chooses to use broken vessels to tow other broken ones along as they travel to the shore of His grace. I can’t live here and see the things I see and love the people I’ve come to love without sharing this with you. Everything inside of me screams of His redemption, mercy, and love today. Listen to Him. He loves you. He died for you. He’ll lead you. He has redeemed you, but you’ve got to reach out and take hold of redemption, and step into the Light. The darkness has been killing your soul and keeping you from the ABUNDANT LIFE He has for you.

So, you still with me?

There are a few more things I would like to share with you, if you would stick around. One is a special request from my oldest sister here, Night. Her son Dan is deaf and goes to a good school a few hours away from Tororo. During school he lives with an uncle of his. Night’s situation is super sad; I think I’ve written about it before. But basically she had her first son when she was really young, about 17, and then had the other three boys with her now-husband, who has been abusing her physically and emotionally as well as cheating on her pretty much since they’ve been married. She’s a joyful, beautiful, vibrant, and extremely kind woman, and I’m so glad she’s been living with us because I’ve really gotten to know her. She has the combination of beautiful, childlike faith combined with a tenacity to love people and such a determination to live and overcome her circumstances. Dan is supposed to start school next week but there is not enough money. His father was supposed to help, but it doesn’t look like he’ll do anything. He needs about $80 to pay for this next term. I would love if you would consider helping out with this. That’s 8 people giving $10, and Dan can go to school this term. Otherwise, he will have to stay at home and waste more time.

If you want to donate money for any of these causes, there is a Paypal button on the right hand side of this page. Click on the ‘donate’ button and follow the instructions. You can use your debit/credit card. If you donate and you want it to go to something specific, can you email me and let me know? Just to recap, there is stuff at the orphanage, and Christine and her family, and Dan’s school. Those are the most pressing needs I see right now, although there is always something happening that I can help out with provided I have the money for it. Please pray and think about donating, even if you’re already donated. I used to hate when people would say this to me because it’s convicting, but, giving $10 is like going without 2 or 3 Starbucks drinks. It’s like not going to ne movie, or not going out to eat once or twice. How can you help? (PS – Dan is supposed to start school this Monday, so time is of the essence.)

If you’re reading this and I haven’t talked to you personally about something significant happening in my life right now, can I just ask you to pray for me? The most detail I can give you right now is, please pray for me to trust God more fully, for me to be patient, and for me to have self-control. I promise I will elaborate more as circumstances unfold. Thanks so much for your encouragement and support. This next and last “section” I was planning on putting at the beginning of this entry but now I feel like it’s more appropriate at the end. So, please continue.

I can’t believe this is only my fifth time writing when so much has happened to me. I don’t mean so much has happened just from the last time I wrote, but that since I’ve been here, my world has just been so changed, shaken up and so messed up by God. I mean the kind of messed up where you realize there is so much more than the empty things you’ve been occupying your time with and that He has such an enormous purpose for our lives and you just can’t believe you’ve being doing X or Y because there is this great Z that God is showing you, romancing you with, enticing you to be a part of.

How do I impart to you what has gone on in my heart and my head these past 3 months? If this blog is the only way you are trying to keep up with what is going on in my life, you have to know it’s just a glimpse. I’ve said this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but short of being here and living out these things with me, you’re not going to get a very clear look at what is happening and how I’m being impacted here. It’s difficult to remember a time when my life consisted of driving 45 minutes to work every day, spending 8 hours there 5 days a week, spending as much money on groceries as people here spend on monthly rent, driving my car filled with overpriced gas, and I only dreamed of Africa. Yet those things happened only 3 months ago. It feels like a lifetime.

Almost since I’ve gotten here, I’ve thought about staying longer than I originally planned. I was supposed to be here until the end of December. But every time I think about it, I don’t want to leave. I mean, I really miss people back in Phoenix, and sometimes it’s hard to think about how far away they are, but most people have stayed in touch and so I know I’m still a part of their lives. But here… I’ve felt so drawn to this place for so many reasons. It’s just kind of mesmerizing here. This is a place of such contrast. There are trash piles and epic trees and fields of nothing but green and life and the smell of urine and people hassling you and others praising you and children who are malnourished and joyful singing and everything in between. It can be overwhelming sometimes! It’s a land where things grow so quickly and richly, but where there is desperate poverty and suffering. It’s just this kind of bittersweet mix of things that breaks my heart and captures it at the same time, if that makes sense. So maybe that will help you understand why I want to stick around longer. In so many ways, and for reasons I don’t fully get, this place feels like home, and the family I’m living with like my real family.

How do you explain those things in a way that allow people to understand? I’m praying God will give you insight as you read this and as you pray for me. I am a tiny person, a speck in the billions of people scattered across this dirt of earth, but God knows this speck and can pick me up among the billions and call me to Himself and allow me to be a part of this beautiful, broken world… and it’s impossible to describe to anyone who hasn’t experienced it, and it’s so amazing it sometimes hurts to think about, as though I fully know that I am utterly undeserving but for some ridiculous reason I have been showered with grace. And wherever I am in my life, and whatever is happening to me, to know the God I serve so intimately and personally; I know that will get me through absolutely anything the world can throw at me.

What am I learning here? That God is enough. That He makes everything beautiful in its time. That the lines on His face are just as clear and His presence just as known in Uganda as in Arizona; just as in China or Chile or Northern Ireland or the Netherlands.

What have I accomplished here? Not much except growing to trust God more and to be privileged to see bits of His plan unfolding, which for some reason He allows me to be a small part of.

What does my future hold? I don’t know. The next week, month, and year of my life are almost entirely a mystery to me… But maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Otherwise, how could I trust Him so intimately that I would jump off a cliff if He promised to catch me? Sometimes my life feels like Indiana Jones. I was recently emailing a friend about this. It’s like in The Last Crusade, when Indy has to go find the grail, but there are all these obstacles in his path, and one of them is this precipice where he’s got to make it across to the other side of this canyon, but he’s supposed to have faith that he can take a step across this abyss. But to the normal eye a person will die if they take that step. Yet to the eye of one in love with the Redeemer, somehow it’s different, and somehow He teaches me that although it may scare the hell out of me, I’m not going to fall, I’m not going to die, because underneath me are His everlasting arms, the ones that have caught me over and over. If you don’t know the kind of love and relationship with the Creator that I am talking about… if this doesn’t resonate deeply with your soul… I’d ask you to meditate on it. And know I’m praying for you, and have been for years. Maybe you know who you are.

So if you know Him, keep on trusting Him. Ask Him to reveal more of Himself to you. Ask Him where He wants you to be.

If you don’t know Him, ask yourself what is keeping you from exploring that possibility. I hope God has put even a tiny spark inside of you from reading this, that you would be curious, that you would question more, that you would be more open to the possibility of the infinite. I’m leaving you with a quote from “Blue Like Jazz,” which I recently reread. Goodbye, all. I love you. Amari.

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There is something quite beautiful about the Grand Canyon at night. There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known that He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart. I imagined Him looking down on this earth, half angry because His beloved mankind had cheated on Him, had committed adultery, and yet hopelessly in love with her, drunk with love for her.

-Donald Miller, “Blue Like Jazz”

pictures!!

2010-05-06T07:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, it takes long to try to figure out posting pictures as well as captioning so I hope these speak for themselves. Love to all!

Cathi

Uganda #4: Untitled!!

2010-04-15T03:29:00.002-07:00

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been about a month since I’ve written. Geez, I am sorry about that, folks. I know you’ve all been waiting on pins and needles to hear about my life; I deeply apologize. I really should be in the habit of writing every 2 weeks or so, because otherwise I know I’ll be leaving so much out (no promises)! Although I think even if I wrote things down every single day, I would still leave things out. You’d never get the full picture. For that you’d have to come here, COME AND SEE, and experience a completely different and beautiful world.

It’s hard now having people say things to me like, “I really admire what you’re doing” or “It must be so difficult living in a place like that” or “are you just counting down the days until you go home?”

I don’t feel like I’m doing that much. I’m certainly not doing anything life-changing or epic; not when you just look at the facts, the actions. I go to an orphanage for a few hours a day and help teach some kids. As far as making charts or graphs or writing an essay about “all that I’m accomplishing here,” that wouldn’t happen. And I didn’t come here to write a report about what I did here or fulfill some checklist of requirements for being in a foreign country. I knew before I came here that a HUGE reason I wanted to stay for a longer period of time was to build relationships. It’s difficult to build a meaningful relationship with anyone in a weekend, 2 weeks or even 2 months of being somewhere. I’m coming up on being here for 2 months and I’m just starting to really get to know people on a deeper level, to spend time with them consistently and be able to have something of value to pour into their lives (and let them pour into mine). I would certainly say the MAIN thing I am doing here is building relationships, and since that’s a major reason I came here for a longer time, I am very very satisfied with that.

As an American citizen with a Western mindset, it is sometimes difficult to look at the last week and think; there is nothing concrete that I did. There is nothing I can give a number to or put a figure on or show you tangible progress on. But in the last week, I spent time with people. I hung out with the older girls at the orphanage as they were washing clothes (a long and tedious task, especially when there are 30 people’s clothes to wash) and had them quiz me on my language skills (I’m slowly learning Jap, the local language here). In the last week, I sat and watched an entire – yes, entire – football club game with Fred, my sister, and her fiancée (that’s football the way the rest of the world knows it – most likely soccer for you). I’ve sat for hours in the morning on days off talking to Bishop (my host dad) about anything from church planting to how he raises his children. I’ve gone to a remote home in the nearby village and sat for hours in a grass thatched hut having an Easter meal (more on that later).

The things I’m doing here are not going to alter the course of history. I’m probably not going to write a best-selling novel about it or have speaking engagements because of it. What I am doing is building relationships, and so much is accomplished through relationships. Not only do I enjoy relationships in and of themselves, but I will never know the full extent of what God does through them. If all that happens in my time here is that I build one good relationship through which God works, then I will consider that a success. No big figures, no fancy statistics. Just people loving people.

Leaving is something I can’t think about very often, because it makes me incredibly sad. I miss people back home; I miss certain things about my life in Phoenix – but here is just a totally different story. None of the “inconveniences” or “archaic” ways of doing things here seem to matter anymore in the context of the larger picture. You adapt, you move on. The longer I’m here, the more I feel like I fit into the culture and see that the way Ugandans do life is so much more conducive to my own way of doing life. Sometimes it feels like this place is like the missing puzzle piece in my life; that coming here, something that is beautiful and mysterious and beyond my understanding has been completed. The more I experience the way people function here and how their lives pulse, the more I find myself at ease with those things, and actually see that it makes a lot more sense to live that way.

Let me try to give you an example. People here rarely interrupt conversations. If two people are talking, a third would hardly ever join in; he would simply listen or even go off and do something else he needs to do. And people here are used to having long, drawn-out and meaningful conversations. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat on the back patio of our house with one of my family members in the time between afternoon and supper time, just talking about anything and everything, and watching the clouds roll and stretch over the sky, as dusk settles into night in a sky littered with stars. If you know me, you know I love conversations. Especially long, uninterrupted ones. I’ve gotten so much of that here, I can’t even handle it! :) The way of life here is so much slower, so less frantic, so much more deliberate about truly connecting with people and being invested in their lives. In fact, I find it difficult to imagine ever having to preach a sermon here about “getting to know your neighbor” or “connecting with those around you”. It’s just a part of life here; it’s what you do if you’ve been brought up here. I have had such moments of tranquility and joy here. I lost track of how many a long time ago. After I’ve had a good laugh, as I’m perched on the front steps breathing in the scent of the pouring rain, as I’m sitting around the supper table totally at ease with my Ugandan family – I think, why would I ever leave this place?

Maybe I’m still in my honeymoon phase. Maybe everything still seems wonderful and I’m looking at everything through rose-colored glasses. Maybe in a month or in six, I will realize I can’t wait to go back to the US. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But somehow I just don’t think so. If you’re a praying man (It’s A Wonderful Life reference, PLEASE, folks!) please keep this in prayer on my behalf, I would be so grateful. Ultimately I want whatever God wants. Whether that’s going back to the US in December, or staying here for another year, or moving here and starting my family here – heck, I don’t know what it’s going to entail. But the possibility of staying here on a more permanent basis is definitely something I’ve been thinking about and praying about and pondering and something that is constantly on my mind.

Now, onto some fun, lighter things :) Two weekends ago I was able to travel deep into the village for a wedding with bishop, his wife, my brother Stephen, and Stephen’s mom, Night. Bishop was set to officiate the wedding and he’d asked me about a month before if I wanted to come with them. We hired out a vehicle to do this since there were 5 of us coming plus several other friends of the family. So we all piled into a van when the driver finally showed up about 2 hours late (yes, welcome to Africa). We were going deep into the village. I don’t know if I’ve described this at all yet, but I’m thinking not, so here goes. I live in Tororo town. Technically I live about a mile and a half from the center of town, but this surrounding area is considered Tororo. When people here refer to “the village”, they are meaning someone who lives far beyond the town, at least 10 miles or so out of it. To get to the main congregation of villages, you take the main road about 5 miles out of town, and then turn off onto another road, which is the main road to the smaller villages. This “main road” however is chock-full of potholes and strange curves and of course it is a dirt road. Let me just say it’s gotta be up there with the 3 worst roads I’ve ever been privileged to drive on (dad, remember the road up to those termas where I bought the old mapuche’s wooden spoons??). And the driver we were with was just racing down this road, making every pothole extremely uncomfortable to go over, and only stopping occasionally to go slower if the road was REALLY impassable. It was about an hour of this.

But once I forced myself to think about something other than the ghastly road conditions, I really appreciated the beautiful scenery. The road to the village takes you past a WHOLE lot of trees, fields, super green gardens, and little settlements, small clusters of communities. By the time we got to the wedding, we were at least an hour late (I’m not sure at exactly what time it was supposed to start). And of course Bishop was the one officiating the wedding, but of course this is also Africa and so things like this are expected and common. The ceremony went fairly according to what you’d think of a typical wedding ceremony. There was singing with a choir and then Bishop gave a message about the importance of marriage and the roles of husbands and wives, and they exchanged their vows. Pretty standard, really. The only real difference I noted was that the bride and groom never did more than hold hands; there was no hugging and definitely no “you may now kiss the bride”. That is very much a faux pas in Ugandan culture. You don’t hug or kiss in public, not even if you’re married. And not on your wedding day. I could really get into this, but basically it’s just a very traditional way of handling things. People in a relationship and/or marriage have this sense of, “let’s keep our affection private and not put it on display” and so you see everyone else holding hands (even men with men here, it’s all free game) EXCEPT people that would be doing it to show romantic affection. Ahh, the irony. And the other thing is that here, women are VERY liberal with exposing their breasts. Mothers nursing children, for sure, will do it anywhere, with no attempt to cover themselves in any way. And I’ve just seen it displayed in many other ways; women don’t think about it. And in talking to Fred one day I realized the opposite is true in Western culture. We go to great pains to cover our bodies, especially women with their breasts, but we make out on the sidewalk or in the movie theatre like there’s no tomorrow. Interesting what a culture does and does not find appropriate. So, then the ceremony was over and we headed to the reception, which took place at the groom’s family’s house about a mile or two away. There people sit under a tent (and the respected guests get chairs) and sit through some speeches, some traditional dances and different things, and then there is food at the end. I rather enjoyed the food there; it was matoke (mashed bananas), rice, chicken (well, only a few select people got chicken, and Bishop was one of them; he gave me his share), goat, and I believe cabbage. I can’t quite remember. Anyway, it was all very good and I had no stomach issues from it so, I was very happy with that :)

Yesterday was a really diverse adventure so I want to share that one with you. After church, 2 of my sisters (Night and Deborah), Deborah’s fiancée Robert, our Pastor, Patrick and I headed out. Our plan was twofold: Robert’s cousin had died a few days earlier and we were going to her burial. Then after that, we were headed to the village, to a place called Paduenda, where Betty, one of Bishop’s daughters, lives. Even getting to the burial we got lost several times because nobody knew where the place was! And it’s not like there are street signs or mile markers or anything like that. Eventually we found the place, but by the time we got there it was almost over. There had to have been at least 300 people there, and of course every eye was on me as I walked in, being the only white person around. While we were there I asked Night if the family of the deceased paid to feed the guests. Then she said no, actually everyone in the clan of the family (think of it like their neighbors) contributes money or food so that all the guests can be fed. What an amazing sense of community, and of loving each other, and of bearing one another’s burdens. I loved hearing that.

After the funeral we got back into the car (Pastor Patrick was driving) to head to Betty’s house in a different village. By this time some really heavy, dark clouds had rolled in and it suddenly started pouring. Here’s the scene: old, beat-up car; bad tires; leaks in the hood; intense rain; bad road; potholes; old windshield wipers. It made for a GREAT drive! Ahhh, I seriously thought we were going to crash or get injured in some way. I was the only one wearing a seatbelt; nobody here wears them. The windows of Bishop’s car don’t close all the way so there was water leaking in on me. There’s some sort of leak in the front of the car so a bunch of muddy rain water poured in where my feet were. I didn’t think we’d make it to the main road alive! At one point I said to everyone in the car, “This weather is pretty crazy. Shouldn’t we think about going home instead? Isn’t it too dangerous to drive in this weather?” Haha and nobody even said anything to me; definitely nobody agreed, and nobody even tried to reassure me. It was completely normal to them!! But thankfully Patrick is a good driver and is adept at avoiding as many potholes as possible. Eventually the rain let up and we took the small, windy road that led us to Betty’s house way out in the village.

I loved her house; it’s really more of a compound. The way it normally works in the village is that you and your family all live in the same area and build your houses near each other. If you’re a man, you tend to stay around your parents, siblings etc. If you’re a woman, you move to where the man’s family is. So Betty lives with 4 of her kids (the other 3 kids, who are older, live here with us) and her husband and her mother-in-law and a few other relatives in this village, Paduenda. The spot is, of course, absolutely beautiful and natural. They have a building for cooking (I cannot remember if it was made of mud or what it was, but it was sturdy) and several grass thatched huts for the family. We ate in the hut where Betty and her husband, Joseph, sleep. In the front part of it there is a space for a small table and we sat in chairs around that. They very kindly gave me the seat of honor, which basically means the most comfortable chair. I really liked the hut!! The roof is made so well that rain doesn’t get in, but because of the material it’s made out of and the fact that very little sun gets inside, the houses stay very cool. It was almost like being in air conditioning! I love man’s ingenuity, it’s out of control. So we were treated extremely well there and I loved exploring the compound; they had an incredible view from their field to some distant trees and the sunset that night was spectacular. I’ll try to post pictures one day. This was for Easter so they made us a really nice meal including 3 kinds of meat: pork, turkey and beef. It was all very good and of course extremely fresh (one of my favorite things about life here). I really enjoyed getting to visit and see Betty again, and it’s always funny to see people’s reactions to a white person in their village. :)

There are some people who have been very important to me here that I think I’ve barely mentioned in previous blogs. I apologize for this! And I could kick myself. I know there’s a lot going on here, but I should have talked about them before! Their names are Leon and Irene, and they are a couple from Amsterdam that have spent the last 3 months here (they got here a few weeks before I did). They came to help out at the computer center, which is what is supposed to help generate money for the orphanage. Leon works back in Amsterdam for Motorola and is a pretty important guy there, from what I can gather. Irene is a nurse. I really enjoyed getting to know them the last few months; they actually left a few days ago! :( I was really, really sad to see them go, and wished they had been able to stay longer. They saved up money for a long time and took basically all of their holiday time to be able to come and volunteer down here, which is amazing. They had some difficult times and challenges being down here but, they really rose to the occasion and did some great things here. They gave money for a chicken house to be built at the orphanage, which is almost finished, and then they will also be buying chickens, 20 or so, for the orphanage to start raising and hopefully selling. This should be something that also generates money for them; it might not be much, but it’s something that can help them grow to be self-sustaining and something the kids can help with as well, which is a good side benefit.

I had to say goodbye to Leon and Irene a few days ago, which was hard, and very sad. Again, I really like them and it was wonderful getting to know them. I pray we meet again. And their leaving got me to thinking about a lot of things. First, I can’t believe how fast the last few months went, and how they’re already gone. That was pretty sobering. On Saturday we all went to the orphanage so that the kids could say goodbye to Leon and Irene. They sang some songs (I took videos; I hope to get those up on facebook eventually) and the kids were given sodas (a rare treat) and balloons and we all hung out for a while. I’m not sure how many of the kids understood Leon and Irene weren’t coming back, but I sat there thinking, I cannot envision this being me in December. I cannot imagine or fathom the day when it’s me they’re saying goodbye to, when it’s me they’re singing songs of farewell to and me they’re asking when will I return to Uganda.

Do I have to let that day come?

Does it have to be December 2010 that I leave this place, maybe forever?

I don’t see why it has to be. I mean, I could get really into this but, suffice it to say there is no law that dictates when I have to leave, when I have to go “home”. Now it feels strange calling Phoenix or the US my home, because this is my home now, and Phoenix is where I lived before I lived in Tororo. For some reason, of which only God truly knows, I do not have anything tying me down or pulling me back to the US; nothing concrete, nothing that can’t wait a year or ten. (Though I don’t want to minimize the amazing group of people and support I have there; you’re all very important to me.) Could I still come back at the end of this year? Yes. Could I come back earlier than that for some as yet unknown reason? Yes. Could I stay here longer? I think the answer to that is also yes.

It was for freedom that Christ has set us free. Freedom to sing, freedom to worship Him, and freedom to follow Him, wherever He leads us and for however long He leads us there, right? I have said this before, but my time here feels a lot different from my time in Namibia in 2008. So many aspects of that trip were so different than this one is. It feels strange to call this time here a trip. For me, a trip implies a set amount of time; something impermanent; something you enjoy a bit selfishly and then leave to get back to “real life”.

….But this IS real life. Nothing about being here feels temporary or something I’m just “dealing with” until I can get back to what’s ”normal”. It feels like, my life used to be this other way, with other realities and other obligations, but now THIS is my life, for as long as God has me here. And if you’re wondering, I’m not expecting a flash of lightning, or some neon vision from the Lord telling me in a booming voice when I’m supposed to leave this place. God works in so many different ways. He spoke to Elijah in a sound as soft and subtle as a whisper. He spoke to Moses in a consuming, blatant fire. He’s unpredictable, and He can do whatever He wants, really. I believe He gives us choices, too. He tells us to delight in Him and He will give us what our heart desires. Do with that what you will.

Okay, I’m sure I’ve talked about that subject enough for some of you to be sufficiently nervous now :) Sorry about that. To those upset at the idea of me being gone longer, I have to say: talk to God about it, not me. I love you all!

I think I will wrap this up with a few tidbits and prayer requests and leave it there.

Tidbits of note:

-Floss: We Americans are pretty used to it. If we don’t use it on a consistent basis, we at least know what it is, and how it’s used. I was noticing my brother Caleb using a toothpick one day and I thought I would show him floss. Well, the kind I have here is the minty kind so it leaves your teeth feeling all fresh. I was trying to explain to Caleb how to use it, but he just kept chewing on it because it tasted so good! Lol I eventually gave everyone in the family a bit to try. A few of them got the hang of actually flossing; mostly they just liked the taste! We were all in a laughing fit by the end of it; it was quite an event.

-Last week I was able to have a good talk with Anthony, who came into town for the day. I asked Fred to talk with us as well since he has been someone kept in the loop on everything that’s going on with me and with the orphanage. He’s eloquent and helped me get across some things that would have been more difficult for me to say. (And can we say CULTURAL DIFFERENCES? GoodNIGHT I have a lot to learn!!) Anthony has a great vision for the organization; all that’s really needed now is some more donations (well, significant ones) and hard work and patience and dedication. It is a different story being a part of something in its relative beginning stages instead of being there when it’s well-established. But I trust God to do great things with us, knowing we can do nothing by ourselves.

-One of the main steps that we would all like to see accomplished is to buy a big piece of land for the orphanage. On it we would build a house for the children, and definitely have a garden; something that the kids can help with and that can generate money; again, the self-sustaining aspect. That way they can be much more well-established and not having to constantly depend on outside donations. Plus, anytime you can give the kids something to contribute to and work on it’s good; that way they are feeling like they’re part of the process and not just sitting there, begging and holding out their hand, waiting for free stuff. Donations may feed them, donations may house them, but they don’t build their character much or give them useful skills for their future.

-Someone here I’ve really come to enjoy is a man named Paul. He’s a good friend of Fred’s who lives in Kampala, but comes to visit when he can. He’s about 28 and has worked with an NGO similar to the orphanage, but on a larger scale. He’s spent years working with street children, helping to educate them and give them a better chance at a future. He’s very wise, and very easy to talk to, and we always have a good time when we chat. He came this weekend and I was able to talk to him about some ideas he has. By the end of this year he’s planning on moving back here to Tororo. What he really wants to do is invest in people in Tororo, especially children. He wants to eventually develop an organization that helps children pay for school fees, or pays for them to take a course in something practical (like driving or building houses) so that they can eventually support themselves (do you see a pattern here?), things like that. He has a big heart for kids and for those suffering who cannot help themselves. Let’s just say we have thrown around the idea of me helping him out if I stay longer than this year. There is so much opportunity here! You can look at places like this and see all the despair and hopelessness that there is, or you can look at them and see all the chances there are for you to be a light, to be used, to love and serve others.

-The weather here continues to give me amazing days and moments. Yesterday I was walking home at dusk (my favorite time of the day) and the sky was starting to darken. The wind picked up, and it sprinkled on me as I walked the path home. Lightning started up and I watched it light up the clouds overhead. If you know me well or if you love this kind of weather too, you’ll understand. I had such euphoria mixed with peace at the beauty of the weather it actually brought me to tears. I will never get used to the fact that the Creator of the universe allows me to experience things seemingly so simple, so ordinary, but so fused with His power and creativity and uniqueness.

-On a more selfish note, I wanted to shout out to people who have called me on my cell phone since I’ve been here (like my prayer team, my brother and my dear friend RheaAnne). It’s always wonderful to get calls, especially when they’re a surprise! I realize the time difference is difficult, 10 hours for a lot of you, but if you can ever give me a ring, even if it’s for 10 minutes, I would love to hear from you. Yes, you. :) It’s 15 cents a minute from Skype, which I know is not free but it’s decent. And anyone that wants to Skype with me (as in, we’re both on the computer and yes, it’s free for you), you just need to email me and we can figure out a time to do it. Thanks to those of you who are keeping in touch with me whether by facebook comments, emails or what have you. I miss you all, hope you had a blessed Easter, and I will sign off for now.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
Matt 11:28-30 (MSG)

In His extravagant grace,
Cathi

random pictures

2010-03-11T03:38:00.000-08:00

I don't have time to figure out the craziness of posting pictures on here but, here is a run down of what you're about to see....

1) my host parents, Geoffrey and Margaret
2) some of my host bro's... Stephen, Richard, and Job
3) sunset from the front yard of our house
4) me and Regina, host sister who's been a huge help to me, and a great friend
5) waiting out a downpour under the cover of a restaurant

ok, I better scoot! and scroll down to read my latest blog, if you're just seeing these pictures now! :)

Uganda #3: Hospitals, Lizards, & the Love of Jesus

2010-03-11T01:28:00.000-08:00

Greetings dearest ones!

Some aspects about my life as of late that may be of interest to you:

-regular nightly checks of my room (mostly bathroom) for cockroaches (and not much shock when I discover them there; other than mosquitoes and small insects the other one I found was a lizard – don’t worry, says my family, they won’t hurt you!)

-going all day, sometimes all week, being the only white person I come across (some small kids’ reactions are the best, as they stop what they’re doing, get wide-eyed, and squeak, ‘mzungu!’)

-getting asked at least 5 times a day why I’m not serving myself more food; aren’t I hungry? Don’t I like the meal? What’s wrong with me? :)

-trekking 2 miles to town with my laptop so I can be guaranteed Internet and Skype dates with people

-being reminded on a daily basis how BLESSED I’ve been my entire life; how I’ve taken things for GRANTED; how RICH I truly am, and how much LONGER I have to go to be able to exhibit even a fraction of the love and compassion Jesus shows everyone

-wishing for a hot or even a lukewarm shower, then remembering 8 out of 10 people in surrounding houses are bathing with cold water out of a basin

-being humbled daily, HOURLY, at the graciousness, hospitality and selflessness of the people I encounter here

For anyone who just started reading this, the above list is more or less a crude summary of highlights. I hope and pray you’re reading more than that; even what I write barely touches on all I’m experiencing, all God’s doing. Thanks to those of you who’ve personally told me you’re following the blog; it means more to me than I can express.

This present age has continued much as the last… (Watkins: warning. I may have butchered that line. Alas, I digress.) Things are progressing here slowly at times, much too fast at others! I see such incredible beauty here in the same hour as I witness some horrific or devastating sight; sometimes it’s overwhelming. I know for sure if God was not my comfort, my backbone, and my guide, I would not be here writing you now; I’d be on a plane back home. Don’t get me wrong; there have been wonderful and exciting and peaceful and joyous moments. And not just moments, but whole days. But life here, especially compared to the lavish luxury most of us are used to, is physically and emotionally difficult in many different ways. I live in a very nice house by Ugandan standards, and our family has so much more than most. I know I’ll always eat 3 meals a day here. I practically get treated like royalty; sometimes I have to argue to help with the dishes, or clearing the table, or to go get my own water. Even in our family we struggle, though again, we have much more than a lot of people here. It gets hot; there’s no air conditioning. The family doesn’t even own a fan; I had bought one in Kampala before coming to Tororo, and I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated it every night!! My toilet sometimes flushes, sometimes the water decides not to work so that gets me hauling in a water can from outside, pouring it into the back of the toilet, in order for it to flush. Never have I been so aware of how much water one can use. The family uses either a fire outside to cook (think camping) or a charcoal stove, which is small and cooks very slowly (I bought them another charcoal stove – it was the equivalent of like $3 – I forget if I’d written that in another entry). Sometimes we eat dinner at 9:30 cause that’s just how long it took to cook. Welcome to Africa! :)

I suppose I need to tell you about the orphanage, since that is kind of what got me over here! So, this past week I actually was able to start helping to teach the youngest ones at OCA’s house here in town. Okay, I just reread what I wrote last time, and I didn’t really give a good picture of the orphanage. I will have to post some pictures when I get a chance; for now, words will have to suffice. (Suffice! That word is for you, Mr. Layshock!) The orphanage is located in a medium-sized, 3-room house almost in the center of town – I mean it’s about a 5 minute walk from the very center of it. It’s one story. One room is a storage room/Anthony’s room when he’s in town/Raphael’s children may sleep there/miscellaneous; one is for the boys; one is for the girls. I’ve never been there at night but, I can imagine it’s interesting trying to fit 24 children into 2 rooms. They sleep on these mats that my family has just told me are made of papyrus; they are pretty stinking hard, but I’m told most African children (even in wealthier familiar) sleep on these, or sleep on a mattress on the floor, so they aren’t the worst conditions. There is occasional running water in the house. What this means is that if there is water in their tank in the backyard, the toilet will flush, the sink will have water, etc. If there’s no water, they get it in buckets from a tap in the backyard. They have one toilet (for 25 people, remember) which is the kind you may be familiar with if you’ve spent any time in third world countries. It flushes, but it is actually built into the floor, so there’s nothing for it but to squat. I’ve used it several times, and I wish it were appropriate to take pictures cause believe me, it’s funny. The men running the orphanage are trying to raise money to build a pit latrine in the backyard, which as far as I can gather is more like an outhouse than anything else. Whatever the case, they need more toilet facilities there. I’ve seen kids peeing in the bushes and honestly, I’d probably do that too if I were in their situation.

The kids eat the exact same things every day: posho and cabbage. Posho is the kind of substance made by mixing maize flour with water and boiling it until it becomes the consistency of mashed potatoes, just a bit thicker. This is a staple food in Uganda and most people eat it at every meal. On a good day, the kids get beans. Otherwise it’s posho and cabbage every day. Can you imagine? Can you even imagine eating really GOOD things, but the same things, every day? Like having to eat, I don’t know, potatoes and chicken at every meal, indefinitely? I love chicken, I love potatoes… but every day? I suppose it’s normal to them, but I still wish I could give these kids meat, or French fries, or something of more taste and nutritional value. And the orphanage doesn’t even have enough money to be buying those basic things for these kids every day. Several times already since I’ve been here, Raphael (he and his family are kind of running the orphanage, along with a widow named Sarah) has told me that they were trying to scrounge up money for food because otherwise the kids weren’t going to eat.

Are you kidding?

I asked him a lot of specifics about what the kids eat and how much it costs. There are 24 kids living there. With only buying them posho flour and cabbage, it costs about 23,000 shillings per day to feed them all. That is about $12. $12 will feed 24 children for a day.

When is the last time you went out to eat? Where did you go? How much did you spend? Even if you went to McDonald’s and bought something off of the dollar menu, you just spent enough money to feed 2 kids at the orphanage for a whole day. THAT is poverty. THAT is real need. Our car breaking down because it needs a tune up or a new part - getting upset because we didn’t get a promotion at work – having a high electric bill – traffic taking too long and frustrating us – when’s the last time you got upset by something like that? Did you feel sorry for yourself? Most of us need a serious reality check, myself included. Which is one of the reasons, even though I have days that are incredibly challenging and gut-wrenching and I feel a bit of suffering, it is nothing compared to what these kids deal with daily. Or what 80% of the world deals with.

This blog may make some of you feel uncomfortable. Why is Cathi being so harsh? Can’t she let up a bit? Why the guilt trip? Let me say, if you were here, you would probably be telling people the same thing. Let me say, if you want to hear about what is going on here in Uganda, these are the kinds of things you’re going to have to expect to hear. It’s your choice; you can continue if you want, or you can “lose my web address” or “forget to read it” from now on if you choose to. I’m going to be honest on here, and I know most of you will appreciate that. I pray God reaches you with what I’m saying. I pray you’re not the same after logging off of your computer.

I would ask you to consider helping out by donating money to the orphanage. On the right side of my page is a PayPal ‘donate’ button. Click on it and it will lead you to a page where you can fill out credit card information, and it links to my bank account, which thankfully I can access from right here in town. If you donate, I will assume it’s a general donation for my mission trip, which I may use for anything from paying my host family to buying phone minutes to fixing showers, and anything in between. I’ve also been using some money to help out the orphanage, but I want to be able to help more. I do have about $1,000 more to reach my original goal for the trip. But if, when you donate, you want it used specifically for the kids at the orphanage, can you just email me and let me know? That way I can channel it to buy them more food, supplies, etc. The more you designate for me to use, the more I can help them. However, this is NOT tax-deductible. Conversely, you will know for sure it’s being given straight to the kids, so that’s a plus. Know your money can go SO far here. Remember, $12 a day will feed every child. If you can give ten bucks, you’ve helped feed most of them. Please pray about giving on a regular basis; it is definitely a worthy cause. I wish more of you could come and see.

That’s the thing about places like this. As much as I try to describe it to you, show you pictures, even videos, there is only so much that can be passed on. To really see what it’s like, you’ve got to come. Maybe not Uganda; maybe you’ll go to Calcutta like my friends the Smith family (names changed to protect the living-in-an-oppressive-country) and serve ex-prostitutes. Maybe you’ll spend some time in Mexico like my friend Saul and cook food for missionaries. Maybe you’ll go to Haiti like my friend Katie (no name change!) and hold babies in a cramped and impoverished orphanage. People are out there every day, all over the world, serving the poor, the afflicted, the suffering. You can give money, you can sponsor children, but until you see death and disease and desperation for yourself, you can never truly know what it’s like. Quit talking about it, and do something about it. I’m not talking about a weekend trip building houses where you come home and feel super about what you did. I’m saying commit to something, maybe it’s even in your city. I bet if you drove twenty minutes from your home you could find homeless, starving, neglected people that could benefit from some compassion.

The Okello’s second eldest daughter, Betty, is pregnant with her seventh child. It is extremely common here for people to have 4, 5, 6 kids, even more. Betty is now 10 months pregnant – yes, 10 – and is having, not surprisingly, complications. Her other children have come even before 9 months, so this one is concerning everybody. Betty’s been in the hospital for the past four days (by the time I post this blog it will probably be 6 or 7 days) feeling labor pains, having trouble doing even something as simple as laying down, and needing desperately for this child to be born. So now I’ve become acquainted with the main hospital, which is about a twenty minute walk from our house, and is the only government-run hospital in town. You’d think that it would be big and fancy and clean, but none of those describe this place. I soon learned ‘government’ was code for ‘cheaper service and shady conditions’. If you can afford it, you go to a clinic, where the facilities are cleaner but much more expensive. The hospital is dirty. Today I went to go use the bathroom in the main lobby – I almost vomited. Feces all over the floor, urine everywhere, foul-smelling – I was wearing flip flops and was wishing I had army boots on. I couldn’t believe this was the state of the BATHROOM at a HOSPITAL. Poverty plus neglect minus time, that is the recipe for conditions like this. Can you imagine what would happen if a hospital in the US were to look even a fraction like this?? Lawsuits anyone??!

At all hospitals in Uganda (and I’m sure this is true for other parts of the continent) there is no food given to patients. There are no cafeterias. Nobody makes food. You know how patients survive? Their family and friends have to bring them food. There isn’t even an option to pay more and have the hospital staff bring you food. People from the outside have to bring it to you. Morning, noon, and night. People don’t bring it, the patient doesn’t eat. Sometimes other patients and their families are kind enough to share with others, but basically your family has to be responsible for providing food for you and anything else you might need that is not medical. What a change, right? I couldn’t believe when I heard that today. So much needs to be changed here. There is so much need, so much need. Please pray for Betty’s pain to subside and for her baby to be born. [Amendment: I started writing this blog yesterday. Last night, the whole family got together before going to bed and prayed for Betty’s baby to be born. And this morning, she was!!! God is SO FAITHFUL!!!!! Power of prayer RIGHT THERE my friends.]

I believe I got on a tangent, but I wanted to elaborate on teaching at the orphanage. So in my last post I explained I’d be helping teach the youngest children, called Nazarene (like pre-school or kindergarten) age. School finally started for them this past Wednesday. Raphael found a woman from town called Harriet who volunteered to help. When I met her, I found out her English is pretty good, although we still have some issues understanding each other. We’ve been doing school from about half past eight in the morning until midday. Well, let me rephrase. I don’t know what time Harriet gets there, but every time I get there (usually more like 9 o’clock) she’s already into the teaching. I think she just wants to start early because that’s what she’s used to (she has taught at schools in Uganda previously)?? I have a feeling no matter how early I get there, she will already be there, having started. Cultural differenceeeeees, welcome. The first day I was trying to explain to her that I wanted the children to play a certain game to name different colors. So obviously I explained it to her in English and I expected her to translate it into Jap, which is the main native language here in Tororo. But instead, Harriet just said the same thing to the kids, but in ENGLISH!!!! Ahhhh. Imagine my frustration slash confusion! Lol I didn’t know what to do. This continued for the rest of the morning; if I tried to ask her to translate something, she would just say it in English still. GRANTED, her English is the accent that the kids are going to understand much better, so that’s something, but still! Harriet really took over teaching; I just have been sitting a lot of the time; helping out when the class does an exercise; I’ve read them a few books, etc.

I went into this thinking I would have to do all the teaching, planning, etc and I would just have Harriet translate. I know we’ve just begun, so many things could change, but for now it looks like Harriet is doing most of the teaching and I am there as more of a helper. Which is fine by me (Beasley and Boling: uhh… uhhh…. Uhhhh… FINE BY ME!!!!!), I just want to help in whatever ways I can… and this is definitely humbling me. On Friday Harriet left me alone for about the last hour of class because she had to run an errand. So it was my first time alone, trying to teach in a language the kids don’t know yet. However, it went better than I would’ve expected. I spoke slowly and made a lot of gestures and pointed to things and eventually they got what I wanted them to do. We’re working on basic things like counting to 10, their alphabet, shapes, etc. I’m excited for what the kids are going to learn this year. I pray I’m not just helping teach them material, but showing them the love of Jesus every day. Pray I would have patience and kindness and compassion but also be disciplined and steadfast and persevering. I need it all!! :)

There are some verses that have really been in my head lately and I wanted to share a few of them with you, they’ve been really encouraging to me.
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. O taste and see that the Lord is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! / Psalm 34

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him… The steps of a man are established by the Lord and He delights in every detail of their lives. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand… Wait for the Lord and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land. / Psalm 37

Although the Lord has given you adversity for food and suffering for drink, He, your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left. / Isaiah 30

I wanted to close with another random batch of facts, just more things I wanted to share but for sake of not making this an essay I will just bullet point :)

-Bishop (my host dad) refers to me every day as “my daughter!” and it’s always in a joyful, excited voice. When he wants to talk to me in the mornings while I’m still in bed, he stands outside my door and says, “Yes, my daughter!” Haha I love it.

- I continue to thoroughly enjoy my host family. They’re so much fun, such kind people, so hospitable, so friendly, and just good to be around. I feel so blessed. So blessed.

- For those of you who know me well, you know I love rain. LOVE IT. And that hasn’t changed since I’ve gotten here, though it rains a lot, and the rainy season’s starting soon, and it will rain even more then! The only real annoyance is that sometimes when it POURS, everything stops, and everyone finds somewhere to take shelter until it calms down. I didn’t expect that. A lot of people fear being out in the rain because it tends to give people fevers, may make their malaria act up, etc. So far I haven’t had any issues with it, just really enjoying it! It really helps to make the weather cooler, and it’s just beautiful. When we get rain coming in from Kenya (which is what normally happens), you can see it slowly spreading over the mountains; they get foggy and start to blur, and eventually the rain is on top of us. It’s incredible.

-Anyone who has spent time in eastern Africa knows they LOVE watching music videos. I mean LOVE IT. Everyone from the 5 year old to the 50 year old. Mostly they are videos made in Kenya, and they are usually praise/gospel music. Everyone’s dressed in traditional clothes of the area and a lot of it is either in Swahili/Kiswahili or Luganda. People usually know enough of the language to get the gist of what is being sung about. (In my house, 80% of the time we are either watching music videos or preachers from the US. Last night I experienced T.D. Jakes for the first time. Mitchell – word to your mother. I love black people.)

- Trusting in God is a big thing here. When something that may seem impossible is asked about, the person will frequently reply, “We will trust God for it.” I LOVE the faith that is displayed among these people.

- ‘Amen’ and ‘Praise the Lord’ are said HOURLY here, usually in the form of greetings. Most people upon meeting each other say either ‘Praise God’, ‘Praise the Lord’, or ‘Yesu Opaki’ which means Praise God in Jap, the local language. In church, ‘Amen’ and ‘Hallelujah’ are used exhaustively.

- Every Saturday morning all the young boys (and sometimes the older ones) of the family go to the family’s garden to help dig and plant and pick food, some of which the family uses to eat, some of which it sells to others to supplement income. MANY people here do this. In fact, most of the people who live in the surrounding villages use a garden as a main source of income. Usually by the time I roll out of bed on a Saturday at maybe 9 or 10, the boys are already back from several hours’ work at the garden. These people NEVER STOP WORKING.

- In Uganda there is a fruit simply called Jack fruit, not sure of the spelling but it is delightful. It kind of looks like an overgrown pineapple, it’s really an interesting-looking fruit. Anyway, there is a Jack fruit tree growing in the yard at the orphanage, and I have been given fruit from it several times. Let me repeat that. The people at the orphanage, who are barely getting enough food for themselves, continue to share food with me, who doesn’t need it. ARE YOU GETTING THIS?! Praise God for the hospitality and kindness that is found in the poorest of homes.

To anyone who still wanted it and didn’t have it, here is my phone number and address (see Matt Schenk, I have a real address! Not just a dirt road!)

Cell phone: +256 (0)785975575 [you may or may not need the 0, try it both ways. From Skype it costs 15 cents a minute to call this number.]

Address: Cathi Geisler care of Bishop Okello, P.O. Box 167, Tororo, Uganda

To close, I’d like to issue a challenge to every one of you still reading this. You’ve heard about what life is like here. You’ve heard stories of hard work, selflessness, compassion, and faith. My challenge to you is to try to live one day where you stop thinking about yourself. Stop doing things that only or mostly benefit you. Who can you help? Who can you encourage? Who can you serve? What kind thing can you say, in what way can you show someone else love for a day? For those of you who are Christians, this is not just a suggestion, but a command; to live in a way that is selfless and sacrificial and humble, forgetting about yourself and serving God by serving His people. For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to SERVE, and to give His LIFE as a random for many. For people in Uganda, this is a way of life.

Won’t you follow their example?

more pictures!!!

2010-03-02T06:49:00.001-08:00

my church here is also called LCC - Liberty Christian Center. God's flippin amazing.

host siblings, Regina and Fred. two of my new favorite people.

Eve, a neighbor's daughter. you'll be hearing much more about her. she needs sponsorship.

Me and Eve.

Uganda #2: Blessings Galore

2010-02-24T05:59:00.000-08:00

Banana trees. Mosquito nets. New languages. Nothing but green for miles. Intense rain. No shower. 11 children. And this is only the beginning.

I’m not sure how to even begin describing the last week to you. Just know that anything I tell you is only a fraction of what I’m actually experiencing but could never fully explain. But let’s get right to it. Friday afternoon was spent in Kampala; Anthony and I took a “taxi” (14-seater van in which is piled as many people as humanly possible) and I experienced some of the craziest, daring driving of my life. It’s very difficult to describe Kampala in general. There are people EVERYWHERE doing a million things, dressed in a thousand ways – some women carrying water or sticks on their head, others dressed in jeans. Some wearing traditional African dresses, some wearing shorts and a t-shirt. The diversity is enormous. And it was Friday, the busiest day of the week, according to Anthony. We went to the bank so I could exchange some money. We ate at a local Ugandan restaurant where I got my first taste of local food, which is very good!! If you were at my fundraising dinner back in November, some of the food my mom made was pretty much what I ate that day. There was matoke (mashed plantains – surprisingly one of my least favorite things – they’re just kind of plain), a sauce with peas (the staple foods here, typically made of grains, millet, etc. are usually served with a sauce to give them more flavor), chicken stew, millet bread (which I cannot for the life of me think of the Ugandan name for – which was a bit crunchy and also not my favorite), and chapatti (these kind of tortillas made of wheat – and my personal favorite so far). I tried it all and for the most part was very satisfied! I drank a Coke as a throwback to my US homies.

We also bought a SIM card and phone minutes for me (Anthony sold me an extra Motorola phone he had for much cheaper than I would’ve had to pay for one normally) and then I decided I should look for a fan. At the guest house I was staying in Kampala, the fan stopped working in the middle of the night and I thought it might be a very good investment to buy one for my time in Tororo. (It turned out that the electricity at the guest house went out in the middle of the night so it wasn’t the fan that was broken, rather the power going out.) So I went and found a box fan, the kind that stands on its own or sits on the floor, for like $25. It would turn out to be a very excellent investment indeed :) While we were out that afternoon I also experienced my first Ugandan rain – delightful. I had seen it coming earlier due to those huge imposing Lion King clouds on their way in. It only rained for a bit but it felt wonderful – it was probably 85 and quite humid so it was a welcome change. I spent the rest of that day checking emails and catching up on things back at the computer center/Anthony’s office, got to the guest house around 9 and promptly fell asleep.

Saturday morning I got woken up by an INTENSE thunderstorm around 4am. It was so loud – not just the thunder but the massive amount of rain – I couldn’t fall back asleep again. Welcome to Africa!! That morning Anthony and I hired a car to drive us the 4 or so hours from Kampala to Tororo, where I’d be living. Hiring a car is expensive, but it’s more private compared to the 14-seater taxis, and we both had a lot of things to carry with us so it was good we hired a car. The trip was an adventure in itself; lots of potholes, bad roads, crazy traffic (especially getting out of Kampala; it’s an absolute nightmare). At one point we hit a blockade in the highway and had to take an alternate “route”, lol this consisted of a muddy back road that went through small villages and it was just a crazy, unpredictable drive. However, we survived so it’s a fun story to tell. I wish I could have videos and pictures of all these things; it’s just very hard to get across the adventure of it all.

We arrived in Tororo in the afternoon, around 4 o’clock, and Anthony took me to my host family right away. I had heard the father was a pastor and there were a lot of children; that was the extent of what I knew about the family. Well, a lot of children is right. I was greeted by probably 8 or so kids; after a while I just stopped counting! I was overwhelmed by it all; obviously you are a complete stranger, you are the only white person (mzungu) around, you are coming into an entirely new situation. Some of the children (they seemed older – probably closer to my age) helped carry my things in. I soon learned the parents were gone at a wedding and wouldn’t be back until the evening. The family had me sit down in one of their armchairs, the place of honor, and all greeted me in the traditional Ugandan way, which means everyone shakes your hand, and the women all kneel in front of you while shaking your hand. At first I didn’t understand what was happening and it definitely caught me off guard to have everyone kneeling in front of me, but once Anthony explained that was the traditional way of greeting it made a lot more sense.
After a few minutes, a few of the older children showed me my room and we ended up sitting and talking for a long time. The one I immediately connected with was Regina, the Okello’s oldest daughter who currently lives at home (they have 10 children, 5 of whom still live at home), who is 19. Her English is great and I was able to talk to her very easily. Caleb, their son who is 16, also sat in the room with us and mostly listened, but also talked a bit, especially whenever I would ask him anything. The other one I got to know the first day is Fred, who’s 24 and is actually the Okello’s nephew, but he’s lived with them since he was 14. One thing I learned very quickly is that the Okello’s (who I actually shouldn’t even call the Okello’s – they don’t have surnames/last names in Uganda; everyone has a given name and a Christian name [usually a Westernized one or a Biblical name] so they just go by those and not family names) are an incredibly accepting and loving family. They’ve taken in several of their nephews, nieces and grandchildren whose parents have either died or can’t afford to take of them. I am still trying to keep track of everyone who lives or visits here and keeping it all straight is sometimes hard! But everyone in the family gets a good laugh out of it so it’s all good! But yes, one of my favorite things about this family is the fact that they will take in anyone who needs help or needs a place to stay. Imagine a family who already has 10 children of their own who are either living with them or being supported by them, several grandchildren and nephews living with them, taking in yet another person, someone who they don’t know and is a foreigner, to boot! I mean it just blows my mind.

Another incredible and overwhelmingly generous thing about this family is that they have rearranged their whole house and living situation so that I can stay here. The parents MOVED OUT of their room to give me the biggest room that has its own bathroom. THEY MOVED OUT OF THEIR ROOM. Are you kidding me? I almost had a heart attack when Regina told me that, of course she told me in the most nonchalant way, as if it was obvious and common that someone would do that for a visitor. So everyone else has had to shift around so that I can have this room to myself (which of course they would have no other way). The parents moved to the room the girls used to sleep in, and I know everyone else moved around, it’s just all still a bit confusing to me! But then 3 of the children (when I say children I mean anyone from their kids in their 20s to grandchildren to nephews – it’s just easier to say children, savvy?) are sleeping on foam mattresses in a room connected to the living room. I mean, when I think about how much this family has sacrificed so that I’ll feel comfortable and welcome I just can’t handle it. It’s incredible, and I feel blessed beyond even being able to describe.

So please, if you are at all worried about me, how I’m doing or being taken care of, DON’T. This family is phenomenal. They have been helpful, welcoming, generous, friendly, and more loving than I could ever have hoped for. I know it must feel like I’m exaggerating but I seriously cannot tell you how amazing these sweet people are and how lucky I feel to be here. For those of you who are wondering, the basics as far as living details in the house are as follows. They have running water in some parts of the house but not others. For example, when I came I found out my sink had running water, but my toilet didn’t, so I would need to have my toilet filled with water from the tap outside every time I wanted to use it. They cook everything on either a charcoal stove inside (it sits on the ground and you have to sit on a very low stool in order to cook) or a kind of grill with firewood outside, for times when it’s not raining and you can cook outside. They don’t have a microwave, oven, refrigerator, freezer, or stove. Nothing you and I take for granted every single day of our lives. They handwash their clothes in a basin of water in the backyard, just using soap and their hands. A lot of the food they eat comes from some land they own and toil themselves. Everything about what they do consists of hard work, patience, and being creative with what you have. It’s incredible to see how they live every day and how you can actually thrive even with seemingly “so little”. They’re beyond grateful for everything they have and are so appreciative of even the smallest things. It’s very humbling and challenging to me. Oh, and the other thing is they do have a water tank and a tap/faucet in the backyard, but the shower had been broken for a while and so everyone just washed out of basins in the bathrooms. The first morning I was here I asked Bishop Okello, the father of the family, about their shower. He said it had been broken for a long time. I asked him to find out how much it would cost to fix and I would like to help with getting it fixed. This was definitely partly selfish; it would be a lot easier and faster for me to shower than to take baths out of a basin for 10 months. But obviously if it were fixed then the family could enjoy it for a long time, so it was a win-win situation. Bishop found out about the shower, it cost about $50 to fix, which I gladly gave them, and yesterday we all took showers! Well, Fred and I cleaned the bathroom first because honestly it was verrrry dirty, but I was happy to do it. If you know me, cleaning is cathartic to me and I don’t mind doing it. So Fred and I cleaned, and we all took showers, and it made me sooo happy to see them enjoying it. It was wonderful. And for fifty bucks. Really? That’s out of control. Also, the food the family makes is really good. Lots of rice, meat, potatoes, posho (a local food), noodles. It’s all very good. They are always making me extra food and giving me the best of everything, it’s amazing. And also, the ones living at home are Bishop (the dad), Mama Margaret (well, clearly), Emmanuel, Fred, Regina, Caleb, Timothe, Job, Steven…. And I think that’s it. :)

I know this is long, and bless you if you are still reading this, but I still have so much more to tell! Haha. I know a few of you will appreciate it and want to know all the details so by all means, continue reading if you are one of those. The other big thing was meeting the kids and seeing the orphanage, that happened on Sunday. There are about 20-25 kids living in 2 rooms, which is really not ok, but it’s all that’s available and affordable right now (if you remember, the kids had a bigger place they were living in until December, but the landlord asked for too many months in advance and they had to leave to a smaller place, and about half of the kids had to move back into the community, most to grandparents’ houses and things like that. To say it was heartbreaking to see where they lived and how little they have is an understatement, and I’m sure I won’t be able to fully communicate that either – you kind of have to be here. So please, come visit! But as with most children, they are very resilient and laugh and play and tease each other and have a good time, even though their circumstances are very sad and at times seemingly hopeless.

Basically Anthony told me that most of the kids were going to be starting in school, but the youngest ones, who are about 5 years old, would be staying at home because they aren’t old enough to start school yet, but he said he would love it if I would consider teaching them in the mornings so that they are still doing things that are productive and getting more exposure to English, etc. So that is what I’ll be doing.. I don’t know almost any of the details yet of how that’s going to work. They have some supplies, actually more than I was expecting, but then they don’t have some things like desks and chairs for the kids, so please pray for that. I’ll be teaching in the garage of the orphanage, so it’s not a lot of room but it could be worse.

That was a very hard afternoon. The night before, Saturday, had been the first night with my host family and I cried that night. It was very difficult to think about how alone I felt, how far I was from absolutely anyone I knew, and at that moment it felt like an eternity before I would get to go back home and see the people that I loved. Sunday was hard, seeing the kids at the orphanage and thinking about how impossible the task ahead of me seemed. I felt very discouraged and overwhelmed. I met the other volunteers who are here, a couple from Amsterdam named Irene and Leon, very nice people. Irene tried to encourage me a bit but I still felt like crying and giving up. Honestly, if there had been a plane there ready to take me back to Phoenix, I think I would’ve gotten on it. It was a hard moment.

However, as always, God is incredible and faithful and beyond good to me. That evening I took a boda boda home (a motorbike that people use as public transportation; it costs $1,000 shillings, or about 50 cents, to take it almost anywhere in town) for the first time, which I’d been dreading a little because it looked scary (traffic is unpredictable, there are no traffic lights, and nobody wears helmets). But it was actually wonderful, the driver didn’t go too fast, and the evening was beautiful. The sun was setting, enormous storm clouds were rolling in, and the wind was wonderful on the back of the boda.

When I reached home (about a 6 or 7 minute ride from the center of town) I was introduced to Emmanuel, the Okello’s 6th child, who is almost 21. I hadn’t realized I still had more of their children to meet, so that caught me off guard. The family was all sitting in the backyard when I got home, so I went to join them. Let me describe the atmosphere, please. First of all, their backyard is huge, enormous by Ugandan standards. They have a garden and just lots of grass. There are animals: hens, chickens, goats, cows. (I don’t think the goats and cows are theirs, but sometimes they graze in our yard. It’s delightful.) There’s nothing obstructing the view, so some kilometers in the distance you can see into a big mountain range, which is actually in Kenya. We’re very close to the border here in Tororo. So the view is absolutely gorgeous. As I said, there were storm clouds coming in (my first in Tororo), and the family was enjoying the evening breeze and watching the lightning storm over the Kenyan mountains. (YES, it was even more amazing than it sounds.) So anyway, enter me, I meet Emmanuel, I sit down with the family in the backyard, and Emmanuel and I begin talking. (From now on I’ll refer to him as Em, because it’s just easier and it’s what I call him. Actually, anyone here called Emmanuel is usually instead nicknamed Emma… which is interesting since they’re all guys. Culture change yeahhhh.) Em was incredibly friendly and talkative right from the beginning (everyone in the family is very nice, but Em, Regina, and Bishop are the most talkative ones). He started asking me a lot of questions; I did the same. I’m pretty sure it’s cultural for people to kind of stay out of a conversation and just stay quiet if two people have already begun a conversation; or at least it felt that way because Em and I must have talked for an hour with almost no interruption or addition from anyone around us. Em’s just an incredible man of God. I would not have guessed he’s only 20; by the way he acts, looks and presents himself he may as well be my age or older; a pattern I’ve noticed a lot in people here. Em is very disciplined, has a good job working for the local government hospital (he does various things, the main thing right now being going out into the villages nearby with nurses and taking medicine and food and counseling AIDS patients. Yes, legit), and he is utterly in love with Jesus, which shows in every aspect of his life. It’s again an understatement to say that he is a godly man; one who serves and honors and loves God with every part of himself. He has an incredible heart for people, especially children and those who are sick. The more I talked with him, the more encouraged I felt; the more I wanted to stay here and get to know people, invest in their lives, and just give up my needs and desires in exchange for what God wants. I mean, within a few hours my whole perspective got revamped and I just got a good kick in the head, is the best way I can describe it.

So much else has happened, but I think I will end off for now. I have been spending this week getting things ready and more organized at the orphanage, learning the town more, buying some things I’ve needed, and spending time with my host family, who I’m so blessed with. Know that I am praising Him so much for what He is doing; I’m so glad I’m here. Last night Em (who, along with a lot of the other people in the house, have told me that I must stay in Uganda now, as in I shouldn’t go back; and Em said now that I know people in the country, I can get a discounted plot of land here. I love my life!) started talking about how it would be hard to see me leave in December and how he wanted to be one of the ones who took me to the airport. I told him he had to promise to stop talking about me leaving because the thought of that was way too hard.

We’ll see. God knows. Praying you are all well; miss you very much!

PS. Yesterday evening there was a fabulous crazy and strong rain; it lasted about an hour; we were in town when it happened and had to “take cover” as Fred called it, until it settled down. So much fun!! Then when it got safe enough, we took bodas home, through all the mud and potholes, and Regina and I were riding on the same boda. At one point the mud got too thick and the motorbike just kind of stopped and starting falling to the side. Regina and I put our right feet down, which smacked right into the mud. Needless to say I washed about a pound of mud out of my shoe and off of my foot when I got home. Delightful African moment :) my family here laughs when I say I love the rain and want to stand outside in it. On Sunday, my first rain here, Em stood outside with me in the rain to humor me, I think. My host mom kept asking why would I want to be outside?! :)

Uganda #1: 3 Continents in 3 Days

2010-02-19T02:30:00.000-08:00

“Go forth from your country, and from your relatives and from your father’s house, to the land which I will show you; and I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you, and I will make your name great, and so you shall be a blessing.” –Genesis 12:1-2

As I walked off the steps of the airplane, I was greeted by a warm breeze and the lowest sliver of a moon I’d ever seen, colored the deepest shade of orange you can imagine, settled just above the horizon. It was breathtaking, and I couldn’t believe it was the first thing I’d been shown in this new land; this new life.

After so many months of planning, organizing, praying, crying, talking, and thinking – I am here. The flight from Phoenix to London went surprisingly fast; the one from London to Entebbe, Uganda was one of the longest of my life! I’m sure some of that had to do with the fact that once I landed, I knew a course would be set in motion that would change my life forever; I knew there was no going back. The moment was brimming with anticipation and excitement.

There could not have been a bigger contrast between my layover city, London, and Kampala (Uganda’s capital). In Heathrow Airport there were more shops than I could ever imagine – Harrod’s, Coach, Tiffany & Co, I mean the list goes on and on. In Kampala I saw a place to exchange money. That was it. Well, I had never been to London before so I wanted to make the most of it. I landed at 2:30. By the time I figured out how to get on the tube and finally made it to my hostel, it was 5pm. I asked the man at the front desk (a congenial German lad named Nikolas) how much daylight he thought there was left. He said an hour at the most. Dang it! I thought. I knew I wanted to see some of the city, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about wandering the city alone at night. I finally decided to suck it up and go see Parliament Square, at least. So I set up my bed (I was at the bottom of a three-person bunk in a room of 15 beds), arranged my things, prayed I would survive this night, and ventured out. My hostel was a 10 minute walk from the nearest Underground (or tube) station and many of the red buses that can take you pretty much wherever you want to go. With the help of Nikolas’ directions, I took a bus to Parliament Square. It was all new to me, and difficult to figure out how to get off the bus and when (at one point I asked the driver if I could get off and he said, ‘Now?? In the middle of the road?!’ Yes, it was my finest hour). But I made it to Parliament, and one of the coolest moments was seeing that typical scene come up over the bridge: the river Thames with Parliament at its edge; Big Ben looming over everything. I’d seen that millions of times in movies and in pictures – it was amazing to finally see it with my own eyes.

Even though I wouldn’t have chosen to see London by night because of the fact that I was alone, it couldn’t have been more beautiful. I got to Parliament Square just as the sky was changing to dusk; it was a beautiful blue and everything was lit up – Big Ben, the Parliament buildings, Westminster Abbey. I didn’t realize all of these major buildings were all in the same square. It was incredibly convenient for me! :) I took as many pictures as I could, walked around, and took it all in.

I didn’t realize it might be cold in London til probably 2 days before I left for my trip. By then my thinking was, ‘I have so many things to take; I won’t be cold for the rest of the year, so I don’t see the point in taking things to keep me warm for just half a day in London.’ So as I walked around London I had on jeans, sandals with socks, a t-shirt, a jacket, and a scarf. I was definitely freezing, and had to keep reminding myself that soon I would not remember the meaning of the word cold (even as I sit here writing this in my hostel in Kampala it is about 85 degrees and extremely humid out, my fan isn’t working, and there isn’t a breeze). So anyway, I enjoyed Parliament Square, then decided instead of trying to deal with the buses again (I was tired, cold, hungry, everything was on the other side of the road and I kept feeling everyone staring at me) I just decided to walk back to my hostel, or at least in the direction of my hostel to find a place to have dinner. Well, of course, I got lost almost immediately. I had a map of the city with me and knew generally where I needed to go, but at one point the normal street cut into 3 new streets, all zigzagging in different directions, and suddenly I realized I’d better ask for help.
I stopped a kind older woman coming out of St. Thomas’ hospital and she was incredibly nice. She had one of the thickest accents I’ve ever heard, but was very nice and walked me in the direction I needed to be going (which turned out to be the same way she needed to go anyway – thank you Lord). I already knew I would be eating dinner at a pub down the street from my hostel called The Three Stags (Harry Potter? Anyone??). It was typical, it was British, and it was food. (PS – Beasley and Malmgren – It is 4 dollars.) At that point I hadn’t eaten in about 9 hours and I was starving. So I sat down and a nice woman who reminded me of Kate Winslet was my waitress. She brought me British tea (Twinings) and milk, then I ordered stuffed chicken, leek, and chips (French fries) for dinner. Everything was delicious and I was lucky to find a place that good so close to where I was staying. At that point I was dead and needed to get back to sleep; I knew I’d have to be waking up early.

At the hostel I slept very comfortably (albeit the large amount of noise being emitted from the people who were still awake out in the lobby) for about 4 hours, before waking up promptly at 2am and my body deciding it was confused as to the time and wasn’t going to let me sleep any longer. I laid there for a long time, willing myself to sleep, but it wasn’t happening. I logged online from my hostel bed (welcome to wifi) and chatted with some friends (you know who you are!) before it was time to get myself out of bed. I showered (all that was coming out was freezing water – it was about 30 degrees outside – but it was that or stay dirty – and after nearly passing out from the cold, I had a good laugh with myself about it), had a quick breakfast and headed out into the London dawn. It was cold but beautiful out; a bit foggy and just kind of magical. If you know me, I love all forms of water; oceans, creeks, fog, rain. (Also – the London fog reminded me of Mary Poppins and made me smile.) I took the tube and made it to Heathrow by 8am or so. (This is more for Missy than anyone else but, I listened to The Beatles all morning on the tube and enjoyed them thoroughly. I thought it only appropriate under the circumstances.) Even after talking to British Airways about my baggage (I was blessed enough that they checked my bags through all the way and I didn’t have to deal with them at all in London), going through security and getting my bearings, I still had over 2 hours until my flight (dad, be proud!). I was hungry, so I found the quaintest little café in the corner of terminal 5 that overlooked the airport and then the city beyond. I ate a sandwich and a latte and thought of my friends at Starbucks  The day was getting foggier and foggier and finally it began to rain. It was actually supposed to be colder and even snow the night I was there but, by the grace of God I did not have to deal with that. (Part of me thinks I’m probably putting too much detail into this but, oh well! You’ve read this far. It’s your choice to continue.)
All in all, they finally put up the number of the gate to Entebbe, and by the time we boarded and took off we were about half an hour late. The woman next to me, a wonderfully funny and charming lady who travels to Africa often, said this was normal and we should still get to Uganda on time. I slept for a bit on the plane, but mostly sat anxiously, trying not to think about how long it was taking, trying not to get overwhelmed with the emotion of everything. After one of the longest flights of my life, we arrived in Entebbe just after 10pm. The “customs” process, if you can even call it that, was incredibly simple and fast. The man glanced at my visa and passport, stamped a few stamps, snapped a picture with his webcam, and I was off. After finding my luggage and piling it onto the cart (thank you Jesus for free carts) I walked out into the lobby to look for Anthony, who was supposed to be meeting me there and taking me back to Kampala. There were a dozen people there holding up signs for people but my name was not on any of them. I walked outside where there were more people with signs, still without my name on them. I was asked (not forcefully, to my surprise) by several men if I needed a taxi, and I said someone was picking me up. A very nice Ugandan taxi driver kind of hung out with me until I saw Anthony about 10 minutes later – after my mind was beginning to creep into semi-panic mode as I thought of the fact that I was now alone in a foreign country, a single white female who may as well have had a big red target painted on my pale, freckled face. But God is good and I found Anthony, who met me along with his friend Thomas who also works with Orphans for Christ (OCA). I want to be as honest on this blog as possible for my own sake as well as for the sake of making much of God and of showing in every possible way that He is my Provider, Sustainer and Rock. When I first saw these men and began walking with them, I thought, ‘Well, this is it. They are the only people I know in the whole of the country and they can basically do whatever they want with me; I wouldn’t be able to do much about it; and okay God, I’m trusting You because there is no other option.’ It was an intense moment!

Both men were extremely nice, though, and I quickly felt at ease and able to express myself normally. Thomas was much more talkative than Anthony. He and I talked about Christianity and the LRA and Joseph Kony and the power of prayer and of how stable Uganda is, considering all that has happened here and in the surrounding countries. Somehow my luggage fit into the back of the small car they were driving and we were off. It was definitely damp and humid, but the breeze from the windows down helped a lot. We drove down the streets of Entebbe towards Kampala, many people still out on their bicycles and outside selling things on the streets though it was nearing on eleven by this time. Thomas sat in the backseat with me, and again, we chatted about a lot of things. (Side note: I could not find a seatbelt where I was sitting. No one else in the car bothered to put theirs on but, I definitely had several moments of slight panic since I had no seat belt on and the driving was, let’s say, questionable at times. A cultural difference you can’t do much about.) Finally Anthony told me I would be staying in a guest house down the street from his office and that in the morning we would tour around the city a bit and buy whatever I needed to buy.

So here I am. I slept a sound 7 hours last night and awoke to the sound of birds and chickens making their morning noises. I have a big bed and a shower (it’s actually the kind where the shower, toilet and sink are all in the same room – so when you shower the water gets on the toilet – pretty great) and a fan that worked for most of the night, though for some reason it has currently given up of exhaustion. I am definitely sticky and sweaty and have times where I think Dear God, bring a breeze! But I am doing great. I am so thankful for how He has kept me safe, that all my things made it here, that I am finally in Uganda, that I have legit godly men around me (Thomas prayed for me as soon as I got into the car last night and I’m pretty sure Anthony brought Thomas with him so it wouldn’t just be he and I), and that I am at the beginning of this adventure. Geez, didn’t think I’d write that much about 2 days! Well, dear friends, I love you all and am so grateful for your input in my life and for your love and support. I will be in touch. I love hearing from you. God bless!!

Also SIDE NOTE!! haha as if this wasn't already like a thousand years long. I've just spent the last hour at Anthony's office/OCA headquarters which is down the street from where I'm staying. I know a lot more about OCA now, which I will probably fully update on in a later post. But for those of you who are praying, please add these requests:

-Anthony really needs a car donated to him (or the money for one) as he travels between Kampala and Tororo all the time and has to take public transport, which gets complicated when he has to take supplies there

-OCA needs money (probably upwards of $15,000) to buy land and build a school and a home for the orphans in Tororo. right now they were forced to leave the last place they were renting and now half the kids were sent back to guardians; the other half are squeezed into someone's house and are being taken care of by an old widow. THIS IS NOT THAT MUCH MONEY!!! I just raised $8,000 for my trip. clearly God can do whatever He wants

-praise that God has brought me to a place full of true believers, laughing children, big smiling faces, a place full of opportunity for Him to do great things once again.

traveling

2010-01-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
~St. Augustine

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It’s a strange thing, traveling. At least, traveling by plane. I mean, to start off with it’s got all these weird combinations of things happening. You’ve got way too many people in a place that is way too small. Everyone has pretty much everything valuable they possess with them in these tiny bags, strapped to their shoulders or hanging from their arms for dear life. Everyone’s hoping their stuff doesn’t get stolen, spending most of the time eyeing everyone around them nervously, holding a tighter grip on their bags. In any given airport at any given time, someone may be just arriving from a 2-hour trip, about to board an overnight trip to Australia, they may be there to pick up a relative, or to send off a spouse.

For me, I think the strangest thing about it is that at one moment you’re in one city, and then within a matter of hours, you can be on a completely different continent. I mean, if someone from a couple hundred years ago saw how we traveled these days, I think it would really screw them up! These things used to take TIME, they used to really require some effort and thought and purpose. You had to plan, you had to set aside days or weeks or even months, depending on your mode of transportation. Even when air travel first began, people used to get dressed up; they would wear their fanciest clothes on the plane. It was an EVENT. My friend Matt thinks it’s a travesty that now we all wear sweat pants and flip flops and our hair messy when we know we’ll be on a plane.

Sometimes it all annoys me – the lines, the boarding passes, the weight limits on luggage, everyone in a frazzled hurry, narrow aisles, seat belt signs. But I’m grateful for traveling. It’s amazing that I can get on a plane in Santiago, Chile, in the heart of South America, and in 10 hours I’m what, five thousand miles away in Dallas? That blows my mind. I’m thankful for the ease of traveling and the convenience of it. Money allowing, I can go pretty much anywhere in the world that I want and do whatever I want, on pretty much the whim of a moment.

I’m glad that for whatever reason, God made it possible for me to travel this Christmas to visit my family five thousand miles away, and will make it possible for me to again be able to travel to Africa next month. For some insane reason I’ve been allowed to see a lot of the world, and I want to value that for what it is, and not take it for granted. Even if I’m technically on a vacation, I want to take in everything I possibly can; get exposed to all the scenery, food, language, clothing, and customs of anywhere I am. There is so much to appreciate in the world and everywhere is so different (and in many ways, similar) from anywhere else.
The world feels so connected when I travel other places. We all laugh at the same jokes, we all smile and work and go to school and pray, we all get frustrated and joyful and stressed and pensive and angry. Our cultures and religions and languages and ways of life are important and unique, but I think our similarities are most important. We’re all members of the human race, we were all born at some point and eventually we’ll all die. We breathe the same air and toil the same ground. We care about our families and cherish our friends. And whether we realize it or not, we’d all be happier if we cared more about our neighbor than we did about our paycheck; more about protecting our resources than greedily hoarding as much as we want.

The world we live in, though flawed and fallen and in disrepair, is beautiful and intricate and more fragile than we realize.

It’s a strange thing, traveling.

happy new year.

2009-12-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

I’ve been so terrible at this blogging business, which makes me sad because there is so much I want to share, I just haven’t taken the time to sit down and write about it. Since I’ve last written on here I’ve bought my plane ticket to Uganda (I leave February 16), gotten most of my shots (Hep A, tetanus, polio, and malaria pills), procured my visa for the first three months in Uganda, and in general just been rolling a ball that will continue getting bigger and bigger until I leave in February. I’m currently in Chile, visiting my family here over Christmas and having a really corking time. I’m grateful to be able to come down here, I love it here. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, and the general atmosphere here is something I always miss when I leave. It’s a different world, but in many ways it’s not much different from anywhere else.

If I tried to convey the emotions I’ve felt and experiences I’ve had as I draw closer to leaving for Uganda, it would take a long time, and I wouldn’t be able to do them justice. Suffice it to say, much has happened, both around me and in my head. God has been working sweet things in me, some difficult, some wonderful to experience. He’s given me a huge heart for the homeless and the oppressed especially in Phoenix, and it’s been a huge blessing to be able to team up with other believers who also feel strongly about those things and to serve God in that way, by loving His people. It’s something I should always be doing, so the fact that I don’t follow God and I’m not more obedient in those areas is sometimes discouraging. Fortunately we serve a God who doesn’t hold sin over our heads, but redeems us, shows us mercy and unconditional love like we’ll never experience from any other source. And that is cause for constant celebration.

There have been times when I wondered if going to Africa was in any way a rebellion on my part, or a desire to escape from something, or anything that was contrary to God. I knew I talked about helping people, and especially helping people who are SUPER poor or discouraged or helpless… but how much did I think about helping someone across the street, or in my own city? People had previously asked me why I hadn’t ever considered doing a ministry within the city, why I felt I needed or really wanted to do ministry out of the country. I don’t know that I ever had a straight answer for that. But in the past year God has hugely grown my heart, and I feel I’ve obeyed certain things He’s asked me to do or put on my heart, one of which being an impromptu homeless ministry downtown myself and a few dear friends were able to be a part of. After being able to become part of a new church this last year, and doing this homeless ministry, and really feeling God move in different areas at my work, I can say that I am not running away from anything, or saying that ministry in Phoenix or in the US isn’t valid or important. The only difference is, where has God placed you? Where has He called you? And I don’t think He comes with a big neon sign, and I don’t think He always makes things super obvious. He works differently in every situation and in every person. There’s something Shane Claiborne quotes that says, “Find out where God is already at work, and get involved.” Or something to that effect. Sometimes something will just tug at your heart or you will see a ministry or a person that really calls to you, and for goodness sakes, join it! I’m completely on board with that.

All this to say, I feel God has more work for me to do, and more growth for me which He is going to do in Uganda for the next year, and I am so excited to see what that’s going to be like. I know it’ll come with its sorrows and hardships and discouragement and frustrations, as well as with its joys and growth and sweet experiences. But like Paul says, he has learned to live in all circumstances, because we can do all things through Him who gives us strength. Knowing all I do about the Lord, seeing what He’s done in me and through me (though I’ll never know why He chooses to use me, or any of us), and having Him confirm His character to me over and over and over, it only seems logical, it only seems natural to give Him everything, to follow Him anywhere.

Please pray for me as I prepare to leave. I would be so grateful for your petitions on my behalf, and feel so incredibly blessed with all the solid believers God has placed around me. Those of you who live in Phoenix and who I see frequently, I am going to miss having you be such a frequent part of my life and will miss all of your beautiful selves and the dynamic of our relationships here. However, I am not going to the Internet-free jungle zone, I will definitely be within electronic reach, so please do not hesitate to keep in touch with me, if you know me I GREATLY appreciate and feel encouraged by any emails, notes, facebook messages, phone calls, and hey, even visits to my neck of the woods! Don’t be shy! I love you all, to anyone who is reading, I hope your 2010 is very blessed.

beauty.

2009-09-06T19:35:00.000-07:00

there are certain things that God can always get my attention with. one of those is the sky. I am absolutely enchanted and mesmerized by anything having to do with it. if you know me at all, you know that is an understatement. sunsets, clouds, the moon, storms... it all reminds me so much of His majesty, presence, and beauty.

the past week has been the kicker with the sky and all related weather. it's just been so incredible and joyful this week, God has filled me so much with who He is and has been constantly reminding me that He is sufficient, and not only that, He chooses to let us experience such amazing things they defy adequate description. on Monday I walked out of Starbucks only to see that it had sporadically started raining, so of course I went out and danced in it. how can I not?! :) and then I decided I wanted to get closer to the storm so I drove out about 20 miles to Tolleson, found an empty dark field, watched the lightning and stood in the rain. it was phenomenal. the rest of the week I just got to have other sweet experiences with the weather and sky.

thursday was another banner evening. the sunset as I drove home from meeting with a friend was glorious, deep orange and pink and the storm was starting to come in so that just made everything more beautiful. I took a drive out by Lake Pleasant that night, it's nice and dark out there and the lightning started while I was out there, which was so amazing to witness. later that night it began pouring and storming intensely, and I couldn't stand to be inside. I took a barefoot walk and got soaked, laid out in a grass field and got to watch the show our Creator was putting on. I can't even describe to you how beautiful that was.

yesterday, Danielle and I took a trip up to Williams and from there, took the Grand Canyon Railway to the well... Grand Canyon. we got a rainstorm on the way up there, and at the Canyon, not only did we experience the majesty that is the Canyon itself, it also got completely overcast while we were still there. Danielle and I watched the entire canyon darken and these deep majestic clouds roll in. I think we were just as enthralled by those clouds than by the actual Canyon :) right before we left, it began storming, so we got light wind and rain and plenty of thunder. words really begin to sound insufficient when describing all of these wonders. suffice it to say, I experience God's beauty in creation in abundance this week, and it has served to remind me once again that He is the author of everything I see, and is more than worthy all our praise and devotion.

God can't direct the steps you're not taking.

2009-07-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in July and never finished; gonna post it anyway. This was dated July 13.

-----

crazy, crazy times, man.

you know it's intense when you can't quite find the words to describe what's going on. here goes.

the title of the blog came from a conversation I had with a coworker today. he basically discouraged me from sitting around "waiting for God to do something" when it comes to missions and Africa and encouraged me to take action, to look into opportunities, to run at this full force. what he said really made me think, and I have spent a lot of tonight looking at different websites for orphanages and whatnot.

I feel very uplifted and pumped up to once again look into different places and just get excited about missions again. my heart longs for it, and I truly believe God has placed that desire and passion on my heart.

of homelessness and hope. of chaos and joy.

2009-06-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

I just feel like I'm at a point in my life where there are no adequate words to describe what is happening around me, to convey what has been going on inside of me. So I will attempt to do that today, but be warned, I feel it will be a ludicrously insufficient description.

I still feel in a bit of a limbo between two continents, two frames of mind, two purposes in life. I still love Africa and missions desperately, and want to invest more of my life and time there... soon. I am waiting on some more info right now for a possible trip back there. But in the meantime, God is doing amazing things in me and around me here, and I want to make sure I don't miss out on that. I want to live fully here in this moment. I absolutely believe it's okay to look forward to things and be excited about them. But I don't want to live always for the next thing, and miss out on what's happening right now. God has things to teach me and show me and use me in, in the present.

I'll try to summarize what's been going on in my life lately. It mostly centers on church, because it's something that's been a source of conflict and confusion and frustration lately. Basically since I've gotten back from Namibia in November I have struggled with the church I go to, CCV, and just the American mindset/lifestyle in general. I could talk about this for a long time. (I'd encourage you to read a post I wrote in Namibia called "Tiptoeing Towards Death" - scroll down the page.) If you have talked to me in the last 6 months, you know what I mean. I just felt so frustrated at how people were living, how extravagant and wasteful and unappreciative people seemed to be. Among other things. I got back to CCV and was kind of like, "What am I doing here? This feels weird, and it used to not be like this." But I left almost immediately for Chile so I didn't get time here to process things before leaving again.

When I got back from Chile I still felt like I was overwhelmed by the culture and mentality of things here, and I especially felt odd at church and couldn't fully explain why. I would feel on and off about things. Some weeks I went to church or to volunteer at junior high and would feel fine. Other times I couldn't even walk inside of the building, and really had little words to try to explain why. At one point maybe 5 or 6 weeks ago it got intense enough that I left junior high early one night and just needed to take a break. It was just too hard to be there, I felt so out of place. A lot of this barely makes sense in my head, so hopefully you can get some sense of where I'm coming from. I decided to take a break from going to church at all so I could wrestle with all of this and come to some sort of a conclusion.

About a week later, I was at Starbucks (shocking, I know) talking to a few friends about my struggle with church and all that had been going on with me. While talking to them, a woman who was sitting with her husband in the next table over interrupted us and asked if we were having a Bible study. We started talking and she ended up telling us about her church -- how much she loved it, how close their community was, how they did outreach and wanted to take Jesus out into the world instead of expecting people to come to church to hear about Him. Everything she said sounded a lot like what I was looking for, including the fact that it was small, which I knew was a direction I wanted to head in.

Well, Amber (the woman from Starbucks) was so nice and encouraging and friendly that I decided, why not check it out. So 2 weekends ago I went to their church. It's called Life Connection and it's on I-17 and Indian School (it's not as far as it sounds). Well, I really loved it. The people were very genuine and real. I loved what the pastor had to say and just got a very good vibe (I hesitate saying vibe but that's the best way to describe it). The pastor had a sweet mix of humor, sound doctrine, and was just very REAL... I know I keep using that word, but I just feel it's the easiest way to say it. So, I went back again last weekend, and it was even better, and I got to meet a few new people, really awesome people. That day some guys got up and announced that on Saturday (today) they were going to meet and take food and water to homeless people in the city. It was just so cool when they said that, because the kind of church I'm looking for would do those kinds of things all the time. So I got really excited about that!

That was what happened today. It was just one of those incredible experiences that while you're doing it, it doesn't impact you quite as much as when you look back on it and try to begin to grasp what just happened. I met up at the church with a group of like 15 people, most of whom I'd never met. I love now that I completely did something out of character for me, and delved into something that I didn't know much about. I only felt compelled to do this, and passionate about it as well. So I met a whole host of new and sweet people today and I am really pumped about that. God is very good. So what we were originally supposed to do was go down to this park by North Mountain and hand out food there. Well, we went there, only every homeless person there seemed to already have food. Which is amazing, I'm so glad they would have eaten anyway today, but we were thinking, what now?! And I think this is where having a small group came in handy. We really wanted to be able to give out all the food we had (about 50 sandwiches, fruit, and water). And it's like, if we drive around enough, we'll definitely find people who need food. For crying out loud. I really enjoyed it because that's exactly what this group wanted to do - just drive until we found people. Sweet.

So we ended up going downtown (like 15th Ave & Jefferson-ish) and parking in a random neighborhood, and just started giving out food. We had a lot of people come and find us. Some we sought out. Some came, got their food, and left, but some stayed around and talked. We then migrated about a mile away and hung out by a community center/shelter and there were just dozens of people who needed food. And they were so grateful. It was really cool to just be a part of that, a part of bringing hope and love and compassion to this area that seems to be so neglected. Almost everyone was very kind and thankful for the food and, also, I think to have people that were willing to engage with them.

There is something extremely powerful in purposely connecting and spending time with people who are outcasted, forgotten, and avoided by society in general. If you want to have an experience with God and His people, go out and find someone who fits into that category in some way and spend some time investing in them. I think you'll be amazed at what happens. They're usually incredibly interesting and have sweet stories to tell... and when you are genuine about your concern and care for them, it's apparent to them and just is such a simple way of reaffirming God's love for them.

We walked around for a bit after we'd run out of food, which I'm glad about. We found an old abandoned building with these plaques on the side of it. They were focused on having hope even though it feels like this place has no trace of God or goodness in it. One posterboard asked people to write their prayer requests so they could be prayed for. It was filled up, with people asking for help with finding a job, overcoming an alcohol addiction, or having family problems. You name it. We also heard singing at some point and could not figure out where it was coming from. We ended up following the voice and it led us to this tiny church building. We could hear the singing and preaching from the street because there was a megaphone attached to the outside of the building. So we walked inside, about 10 of us white folks (mostly younger girls), to a room full of black people who were praising God with everything they had. There was just a drum and a lady speaking, but she was filled with the Spirit in a way that's very difficult to describe, and that leaves you in awe.

I think we forget to be passionate. About God, about the gospel, about our interactions with each other, just about life in general. We have these very specific routines and ways of doing things and we've done them for so long, we forget anything else was ever part of our lives. And there can be good in routine and in getting used to some things -- but not when our lives become stagnant, and we've overstayed our welcome at a place that God is done using us at. This is what I felt has been going on in my life lately. I felt stale, like I wasn't being used, and at times, not willing to be used. But now that I've been going to this new church and just meeting all kinds of new people and exposing myself to new things... different things... I feel re-energized and I am so ready to see what is next and what crazy things God is going to do.

The experience today was much needed and I am so in awe of God orchestrating something like this. He's such a great and powerful and gracious God. I wish I could convey to you the joy I felt driving back home after my experience today. I wish I could impart a small part of the peace I felt, of the passion inside of me. These words have been lacking. But if you walk away with one thing, let it be a joy in knowing that He is praiseworthy, sufficient, sovereign, and utterly worthy of our continuous devotion to Him and the people He loves and died for.

.

2009-02-11T00:47:00.000-08:00

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

-C.S. Lewis

Love. Faith. Trust. Courage.

These are all risks, walking out into something unknown and trusting something, Someone, is going to be there to catch us, to secure us, to love us. To affirm the fact that we fell, that we jumped, and it's okay, and we should do it again, because even though it was terrifying when we jumped, it was also a miracle that we were caught. And it makes you fall in love with your Rescuer all over again, every time.

If you never use your heart, who cares if it's broken or not? What is the use of having feelings or making choices or picking one road over another when if it comes down to it, you are never going to take a risk, you're just going to stay in your safety zone forever? Over the past 2 years God has taught me a lot about trust. He's taught me that when I had in mind isn't what He had in mind. No, His plans are always bigger, and better, and more bold. They may seem crazy to some but to me it's just another confirmation that I'm in His loving arms, being led in the directions He wants to lead me. The safest place in the world I can be is where God wants me. Doing whatever work He has sent me to do.

I've been wanting to write this post for a while. For some reason I always run out of time or get distracted doing something else. But so much has happened in my life! I got back from Namibia, spent less than 2 weeks at home, and then went to Chile for 5 weeks to see my family. That was really great. Beautiful places. Since I've been back in Phoenix, I've been substitute teaching in the Peoria District. Jobs have been rare at best; a very unstable and unpredictable job. I've been looking for a full time job and praise God, I've finally got one. I'll be working at North Phoenix Baptist Church in their preschool. I'm excited to finally have something steady! The ladies there are REALLY nice.

God has continued to put Africa on my heart and mind since Christmas. It is where I feel I will ultimately end up. I don't know in what way exactly, or where I'll be, what I'll be doing, or anything. But I really feel that is where God is going to take me back. I feel inexplicably drawn there: to the land, to the people, to the culture. Please pray for me, that I would be patient, that I would let God lead, but also balance that with taking risks and stepping out in faith, knowing that God is there no matter what. There are a lot of opportunities to go back; I don't know how or when it'll happen. I love Him, and I know He has great plans for me.

when did we see You hungry?

2008-10-29T03:34:00.000-07:00

Should you not divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into the house, and when you see the naked, cover him, and not hide yourself from your own flesh? If you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones, and you will be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 58

Hello all. Wow, time really does fly. As I write this, I will be home in 4 weeks. I leave Rehoboth in 3 ½ weeks. I can’t believe my time here is coming to an end; at times it feels like I’ve been here forever, at others like I just got here and have my whole trip ahead of me. Things have been difficult, heartbreaking, monotonous, exciting, dreary, numbing, interesting, and everything in between. If you have ever spent time on a foreign mission trip you may understand what I’ve been going through. It’s a mixture of a ton of varied experiences and emotions.

One of my teammates, Kristen, just left for a weeklong trip back to the US for her brother’s wedding. On November 8, the whole Rehoboth team (all 13 of us) will have a group Thanksgiving (I guess Canada’s Thanksgiving falls in early October, and 2 of the women on our team are Canadian, so we are compromising by celebrating in early November). Alli, a girl on my team, and me will be heading to Etosha National Park on the 15-17. This is the type of place we should get to see elephants, lions, giraffes etc. So we’re really excited! Camping out among the wildlife!

Things have settled down at the preschool. MollyBea and I feel more comfortable working with Sylvia and Linda now, and feel we are making some progress there. We have implemented a schedule of sorts; being Africa and with a different culture and language, many times the schedule doesn’t work out, or something else is going on that day, or whatever. Many times either Linda or Sylvia is sick or not there that day. It’s a bit more difficult on those days. But now I feel very comfortable with most of the kids, even though I don’t speak the same language as them. It’s a lot of body language, gesturing, and of course translation by one of the native women. The kids are just precious (though most can be quite a handful when they have their “moments”, especially the boys) and I can’t wait to post pictures of them after I get home so you can see their mischievous and cute little faces.

Please pray for these kids and this preschool. They are in such need. As I’ve talked about before, many of them only get one meal a day, and that is usually a piece of bread, or some leftover noodles on a special occasion. They drink dirty water, there’s a huge lack of sanitation across the spectrum, many have lost at least one parent or have one in hospital. I see children come to school in dirty, smelly clothes, some not bringing any food at all, many having to stay in their dirty, soiled clothes because they’ve nothing else to change into. This is a far, far cry from even the poorest school I’ve seen in Phoenix. If nobody intervenes, these children will continue to grow up in these circumstances, having little chance at an education, the remotest chance of going to college, and will probably never leave this 3-mile radius of Blok E they call home.

I have begun to look into partnering with Feed My Starving Children, an organization which sends out food packages to needy children across the world. I know that although they can provide food, they cannot provide shipping, and shipping overseas is costly. I will keep everyone updated as to how you can help and possibly donate to this effort. After I get back to the US, I would eventually like to send more supplies over, such as pencils, glue, scissors, books, and other things that are scarce in the school. Sending money can also be a great help, especially to buy food for children who aren’t eating. Pray that God does a mighty work with this school, these children, this city, this country. Even though Namibia is one of the more westernized countries, with some paved roads and modern conveniences, much of it is still very undeveloped, and poverty is still rampant, as I see firsthand every day.

I urge you to consider the lives of people outside of your own family, friends, and community. Not even just this little city in Namibia, but in the US and around the world. Children starve every day, people die from lack of access to clean water, and many other easily preventable causes. Maybe you’ll never make it to Africa, but there are impoverished, destitute people everywhere. Get involved. Find a child to sponsor. Find a soup kitchen to volunteer at. If you’re able to, consider adoption. It may take only one kind gesture or act of kindness to change a person’s life. Be someone willing to step outside of your comfort zone, willing to look for those who are suffering, whether it be emotionally, physically, spiritually.

What is the Lord calling you to do? What are you passionate about? What do you wish you cared more about? What is a cause worthy of your allegiance? If you call yourself a Christian, then no excuse is going to be good enough. If you aren’t helping, why not? And I don’t just mean paying tithing or adopting a child at Christmas or giving change to the Salvation Army. I mean if you call yourself a believer, if you follow the risen Christ, then you should be eagerly walking in His footsteps, seeking out the brokenhearted, searching for the lost, and seeing where you can be Christ to people who don’t know Him. These broken souls are our brothers and sisters. Why are we neglecting our family? This wasn’t planned. I didn’t intend to say most of this. But when you come to places like this and you get involved in people’s lives, it becomes more than just following a command or being obedient to God. You develop relationships with those in need. God’s children, who are crying out for Him. Who are seeking His face in people all around them. Will they find it in you? Or will they have to keep looking?

“Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?”

Then Jesus will answer them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did not do it to Me.”

Matthew 25

Tiptoeing Towards Death

2008-10-08T04:54:00.000-07:00

All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don’t tiptoe.

Has it ever hit you that everything you believed was wrong, or that you were living on the wrong side of the fence, and you suddenly realized that things in your heart and life and mind were going to have to change drastically, that it wasn’t even an option, but that you felt fully compelled and drawn – and even excited – to take that risk and to turn everything upside down because you knew there was no other way to live anymore? I can’t adequately describe it to you, but that’s more or less what’s been happening in my life. I’m not even sure where to begin or how to communicate this to you in a way that will help you understand the amalgam of thoughts and ideas that have been swirling in my head.

I was given the book “Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claiborne a few days ago by Steph, a girl who’s also an AIM missionary in Rehoboth. It had been recommended to me several times, but I hadn’t gotten around to reading it. (If you haven’t read this book, it’s an understatement to say I highly suggest you go and find it immediately. In fact, stop reading this blog. All that’s important to me is that you get your hands on it.) Let me give you a quick background on this guy Shane who wrote the book.

He’s is in his early 30’s, and he calls himself an “ordinary radical”. He grew up in eastern Tennessee, smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt, raised Methodist. Sometime in college he had a breakthrough where his faith became real and he realized he wasn’t living out the gospels that way Jesus had outlined. He ended up spending a month in Calcutta with Mother Theresa, chillin’ with some lepers, hanging out with the homeless in downtown Philadelphia, and eventually moving into one of the poorest areas in Philly to start a community called The Simple Way. His whole book (and the community he and his friends started) is basically a call back to the basics of the Christian faith, when people gave up everything for Jesus, were radical, went against the grain, and it was all about community and growing and loving together and sharing everything and that nobody was left needy or destitute.

So this guy Shane has been to prison more times than he can count because he does stuff like go to rallies and marches and just stands alongside the marginalized, the oppressed, the people who are badly in need of some love and friendship and just someone who cares. He went to Iraq not too long after the war started just to show Iraqis that Americans still cared and that Jesus didn’t take sides, and basically apologizing for all their people who are being wounded and killed. I mean this is some intense stuff. And it just got me thinking even more about what God’s purpose for my life is, and where He wants me, and what I should be doing. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed at all the possibilities and all the different directions I could see myself going and wondering if I want to do things because they’re easy or convenient or whatever else. I just want to passionately pursue God and love people. And I don’t know what that’s going to look like in my life. I feel like I need SO much more compassion and love for people; there’s no way I could ever do it without massive amounts of mercy and strength from the Lord. I want to feel what they feel; to rejoice with those that rejoice and mourn with those that mourn and really feel connected to more people. I really want to seek out people that society has cast aside and essentially thrown away, and I don’t even know where to begin. And it also scares the daylights out of me! All of these are wonderful ideas and concepts, and believers throughout time have beautifully demonstrated these things in their lives, but what about me? I’m selfish and sinful and hypocritical and weak and broken. But my God transforms people, and I’ve experienced that power firsthand. I know He performs miracles and He’s in the business of showing His strength through our weakness.

I had thought about a lot of these things before, and obviously a lot of it was the reason I came to Africa; I wanted to live and work among the poor and the people that the world seems to have forgotten, and I really felt my heart was here. I’ve just been reminded (both by this book and by living down here) that there is such inequality in society, such injustice; such a gap between the well-off and the incredibly poor. It’s really stark in Namibia. I can walk from a nice 4-bedroom house with electricity and running water with plenty of food, to a tin shack with no light, no water, no plumbing, and people rummaging through garbages for food in less than twenty minutes. And I think we get numb to it, and don’t even think about it anymore, and don’t let the enormity hit us, the fact that so little of the world owns so much of the stuff, and isn’t sharing it. That they don’t even want to share it, or see why they should have to. Many of us never even drive through a neighborhood where people are living without basic needs being met. We have, for the most part, largely separated ourselves from those in a different social class than ourselves. We might not even think about it, but most of us could probably drive twenty, thirty minutes and find people in these situations. And maybe not even just those who are financially poor, but those who are spiritually dead, depressed, hopeless, discouraged, and who feel utterly alone.

My trip is not even a third over and I’ve already been inundated with so much; sometimes I wonder why God thinks I can handle all of it! Getting fired up and righteously angry can be exhausting and overwhelming at times, but I feel so connected to God then, and really believe that He can redeem any situation; can rescue any person from their tumultuous past; can heal any wound that anyone has ever or will ever have. And He can and will use His servants, but His servants must have the same heart and mind as He does. He doesn’t need us, but He chooses to use us. He’s shouting to us; begging that we come follow Him; that we be His body, that we be invested in the lives of the broken, the meek, the afflicted, the lowly. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to tiptoe through life, hoping to arrive at death with as much caution as possible. Life is complicated. Serving God is messy. It doesn’t usually make sense; in fact, it has been known to make people outcasts, to get them thrown in prison, to be harassed, and to be martyred. The most amazing things done for God have been done by people getting their hands dirty, by not marching to the same drum as the rest of the world, by acknowledging God over men, by pursuing His glory instead of their own. I want to run through life full force, eyes on the prize of heaven, knowing that I have served Jesus and shared Him with as many people as I possibly could.

Other than that, things around here have been pretty normal! Here are some things I’d appreciate your prayers for:

- My teammates here; please pray for their homesickness, for effectiveness in ministry; against discouragement and apathy; and for God to empower us in His strength to do His work here

- To be focused not on frustrations, difficulties, or barriers, but rather on sharing God’s love and mercy with others and building relationships with them

- For MollyBea and I to be passionate and excited about working with our kids; to help them get organized and get on some kind of a schedule so there isn’t so much chaos; for us to have enormous amounts of love and compassion for them

- That I would simply focus on being Jesus and let Him do the rest

Thank you for reading, and thank you as well for all your support and encouragement. Oh, and if by chance you want to send me anything while I’m here (flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep…) here is my address:

Cathi Geisler c/o Lenie Van Wyk
P.O. Box 4067
Rehoboth 9000
Namibia

Just shoot me an email if you send something so I can be on the lookout.

In His reckless love,
Cathi

True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that a system that produces beggars needs to be repaved. We are called to be the Good Samaritan, but after you lift so many people out of the ditch you start to think, maybe the whole road to Jericho needs to be repaved.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

True religion

2008-09-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

True religion in the sight of God our Father is this: to visit widows and orphans in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
James 1:27

I can’t really think of a more appropriate quote at this time. Today (I wrote this on Monday, the 22nd) was the first day I went to Sylvia’s “preschool”. The reason I call it that is because it is not at all what I expected or envisioned, and really, compared to what even the lowest standard in the United States is, the simplest school, this place is atrocious. The adventure started at 7:30 am, when I left my house in Block D. I’d be walking to Block E, which is about as far from where I am as you can get and still be in Rehoboth. I met Steph at her house, which is about 15 minutes from mine. She needed to go make some copies of coloring book pages for the kids we’d be visiting. The copy place was about 10 minutes away. After the copies were made, we walked to MollyBea’s house to pick her up. That was another 15 minutes. From there we walked another 10 to pick up Ruth, one of the ladies who is here for a year with her husband and 2 daughters. We rested there for about 10 minutes, then headed out for the final stretch. That was another half hour. So we’re looking at the fact that I’ve walked about an hour and a half. I was so exhausted by that point! (If you know me, you understand. I’m a wimp.)

I was starting to feel the intense heat of the day beginning and the sun beating down on me, the dust getting into my shoes and my mouth and eyes, the dizziness beginning, my mouth drier than I ever remember it being. It felt like we’d never get to where we were supposed to be. We finally came into Block E, which you can recognize instantly by the tin shacks which are all over the place. People living in the simplest and harshest conditions. If you’ve been keeping up on my blog, Block E is the equivalent of Katutura in Windhoek. We finally got to the preschool probably around 9:30. It was powerful. Moment we were in view we had about twenty children running towards us. We’d experienced this a few times in Windhoek visiting some orphanages and schools. It is so obvious how desperate these kids are for love, attention, a touch, a smile, anything. I had a little girl, about 3, cling to me for about ten minutes. I found out later that her name is Jeanette. She had the cutest smile you’ll ever see in the entire world. Several of the children latched onto each of us.

We met Sylvia, who runs the place. It is a one-room, cement building with sheets for a roof. No electricity, no running water, no bathroom. At least half of the kids weren’t wearing shoes, which generally means that they don’t own any. The room they’re in is about 12 x 20 feet – rough estimate. Definitely not big enough to comfortably house thirty little ones!! Some kids looked really dirty; some not too bad. Some things that surprised me were that they had enough plastic chairs for about 80% of the kids, some little tables, and a few larger chairs for adults. There were some signs on the wall with different shape or color names. Sylvia had written the numbers one through ten on the wall as well. They had a minimal supply of scissors, paper, coloring sheets, and crayons. There was a big, old area rug on the floor which the kids sit on during group time.

When we got there they had some singing time. The kids are really good at repetition or echoing, and Sylvia has taught them a lot of songs. We sang a few in Dama (that is the language most of the people in Block E speak) and a few in English. About 90% of the kids are Nama speaking, which is a relatively small tribe found in Namibia. The rest are Owanbo, the darkest skinned native Namibians. Apparently the Basters (which is the dominant group for sure in Rehoboth) won’t set foot in Block E. They are a very proud people. I think it would bring too much shame on them if they were to admit they were that poor. Shame is a huge issue here, just like in places like Japan where people will kill themselves because they brought shame to their family.

So, after singing time the kids ate their lunch. Here comes a really tough part. About 30% of the kids don’t bring any lunch at all, for whatever reason. Their parents spent the money on alcohol, or they’re just too poor to eat every day, whatever it may be. So anyone that brings lunch has to put half of it in a basket and then it is redistributed to the kids that didn’t bring anything. Almost like a mini version of communism, but it actually works. We were so surprised to see these kids willingly give up half of their food, which really, in most cases, was just 2 pieces of bread with nothing on them. So that was real difficult to watch and to know it happens every day.

After that, they went to play outside for about half an hour. Some boys were wrestling; the girls were just kind of hanging out. We did a few organized games like Ring Around the Rosey or Duck Duck Goose. They love that one. They loved doing the Hokey Pokey as well. Anything that has repetition or an echo they were really good at, which is honestly the same with kids no matter how rich or poor they are, or where they live, so that was cool to see. It makes it even more interesting since none of the kids speak English beyond understanding “what is your name?” and a few other things. After outside time the kids came back in and colored for a while. The oldest ones have learned to write their name, although many can only do it if they see it written first. After that, the last thing they did was to all gather around on the floor rug and it was story time. Sylvia put me on the spot and asked me to tell a story, so I told Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, which I totally butchered, but the kids couldn’t understand anyway, so I really tried to emphasize things, and gesture, and change my inflection!! Haha.

We left soon after that, it was about 11:30. Most of the kids leave between then and noon. Parents don’t really come pick them up, they just all walk back to their houses. These kids that are 4 and 5 years old. It’s just so foreign to me, and sad as well. Leaving was hard; I wanted the kids to understand that we would be back the next day. I hope Sylvia communicated that to them. The thing that makes it even harder is that even though it’s in Block E, that’s super poor, there is a primary school just across the street from the preschool that has electricity, water, classrooms, etc etc. I can’t imagine being a kid and wondering why I don’t get what “those” kids get. It must seem so unfair and confusing to them. So anyway, that is the gist of what MollyBea and I will be doing the next 2 and 5 months, respectively (MollyBea’s staying until February). Sylvia also mentioned wanting to start an afternoon tutoring program for the kids who will go to first grade next year. That would tentatively be from M-Th from 3-5pm. I don’t know if we’ll be helping with that, or exactly how that will look. As you can see, there is much to pray for! Since I’m a list person, I’m going to just bullet a few things I’d covet your prayers for. Thank you so much for reading, keeping up-to-date, and being supportive. I know I’m wordy!!

· Pray for MollyBea and I as we help at Sylvia’s school each day; that we would have patience, endurance, and compassion for these children
· For Sylvia as she basically runs this school by herself and manages 30+ kids a day; for her weariness and stamina; for her walk with God to be strong and consistent
· That we would be creative and unique with the ways we teach the kids, or play with them; the games we teach them, the ways we interact with them, that it would be pleasing to God and would show these kids His love
· That these children would be encouraged; that God would intervene and bless them; that miracles would happen and they would feel His love
· That our eyes would constantly be centered on the cross and on His great love; that that would fuel us and be our resource; that we would not grow so drained that we become ineffective
· For God’s love and message of redemption to be spread throughout Rehoboth and that many would be saved

And some praises:

· Praise Him for Sylvia; for her energy, compassion, and joyful, faithful heart as she serves God’s kids here
· That we are able to walk to the school, though it is long and arduous, we still have the capability to do so and that is a gift
· That the kids are guaranteed food at school, though it may be very little; it is something
· That God’s plans are bigger than we could ever fathom and we get to be part of what He is doing here

Thank you! Dankie!! :)

*Update*: Since writing this on Monday, MollyBea and I have decided to go help at the afterschool program on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, and go in the morning on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Also, the walk there is getting easier, though it is still a good 2 miles each way (maybe more) and it is exhausting in the heat!!

And some pictures I borrowed from my team members (y'all won't be able to see my pictures until I get back).

Katutura, Windhoek

The team in Windhoek

What most of Rehoboth looks like

Team again

this is finally Africa.

2008-09-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

In the past few days it feels like I've finally gotten to experience some of what I imagined Africa to be like, or what I expected my experience here to involve. It's been an intense few days, for sure. God has really been opening my eyes to how different it is here, and how spoiled I've been, and just how ignorant I am. How sovereign He is.

On Monday we had a lady called Julie come and talk to us about AIDS – how it's spread, how many people are affected by it (1/4 of the population in Namibia has it; the 2nd highest in the world), what the public's perception of it is here. That afternoon we had another lady called Hanalie come and talk to us. She was a prostitute before she became a Christian. She's lost her
family's support due to the fact that she has AIDS. Her young child does too. Hers was a sad story, but also an amazing story of how God redeems lives – I can't even put into words how
cool her story was. She has such an amazing faith and a hope. She talked about forgiving her family for shunning her, for not living in the suffering of her disease but rather reaching out to people. She helps prostitutes that she used to work with and now works at a children's home in the poor part of Windhoek. We are actually going to visit her tomorrow and see the kids there.

On Monday afternoon after taking Hanalie back to her work, Mick's wife drove us through Katutura, which is the poorest section of Windhoek. This section of the city was started about 80 years ago because that is where the black people were forced to stay during apartheid. So even though apartheid was outlawed here in 1994, there are still people here that are hugely racist and that are very segregated. Katutura is still an extremely poor, dirty, and generally lowly looked upon area. It's crazy to think that if we'd come here 15 years ago, there would have been segregation, that it would have been completely inappropriate for us to interact with black Africans. So we drove through Katutura and most of the houses are just made out of zinc, a kind of metal that people cut into large sheets and bolt or string together with rope. I mean this is like the poorest of the poor. No electricity, dirt floors, no stoves or refrigerators or plumbing or any convenience. It's a really violent area and people are in constant fear. Needless to say it was a sobering and humbling experience.

Yesterday, Tuesday, we went early in the morning to what is called an AIDS testing center. This one is run by the Catholic Church and it's free. They test people for AIDS and HIV. We actually went through the whole process of getting counseled, asked questions, getting our blood taken (it was a finger prick) and seeing what our result was, whether or not we had HIV. I can't put this into enough words to describe what that was like. I have such a better understanding of what AIDS is, how it affects people, what the perception is, and what it's like to actually get tested for it. So very crazy and very amazing. After the testing 3 Namibian guys showed us around Katutura. We actually walked around the neighborhoods and in the markets. There were about 12 of us white people, and we got so many stares you wouldn't believe it. White people just don't come around those parts. It was an interesting experience for sure. We had lunch in that area, they had AMAZING bread!

We spent the afternoon yesterday hanging out with kids at a church's after school program. While we were waiting for the kids to get out of school, we were sitting around and one of our guides went to go buy some roasted worms. Yep! He came back from the store with a bag of
them and somehow convinced everyone in our group to eat one. I don't know how that happened! But I told myself I would regret not taking part in that experience. So I ate one. Head and all. It was super crunchy and black and tasted very chalky, but otherwise not much taste. The grossest part was that it was a worm, just the thought of that, not necessarily the taste. I gagged and almost spit it out, but finally swallowed it down with a bunch of water. So there you go!

Once the kids got there me and a few other girls went and read with some of the younger ones, they were 6 or 7. Some of them read to me a little (one's English was quite good) and then we spent the rest the time reading to them. It was my first real experience to just get to know a
few kids here and interact with them. They climb all over you and love to see your camera and love being in pictures and love being read to and have no sense of personal space! After their reading time was over they sang a few songs (gorgeous!) and then we played frisbee with them for the rest of the time. It was a good afternoon, but spending the whole day in Katutura was absolutely humbling and eye-opening.

That was what I really imagined when I thought of Africa. Here in Windhoek especially the gap between rich and poor is very wide, and you have Katutura 10 minutes away from very very expensive houses. Mick lives in upper middle class, basically, and that's where we've
been spending most of our time. To wrap up a very long post, God has been teaching me great things. Pray that I would keep my eyes and heart and mind open. I want to learn everything I can down here. I want to get my hands dirty and build relationships and cry and be joyful and be integrated in the culture. I want to be okay with making mistakes and doing things wrong and I want to suffer or rejoice along with these people. Thank you for your prayers. I ask you to continue them. I love you all.

In Africa

2008-09-13T04:07:00.000-07:00

I think most of you have gotten an email from me anyway, so I'll just briefly state that I'm in Africa, in the capital city of Namibia called Windhoek. We'll be training this week and then off to Rehoboth on Friday. Please keep me and the team in prayer. Thank you for all of your support. I love you all!!

to bind up the brokenhearted | a few things I learned in Pearl River

2008-09-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

I'm in New York right now, in a little town called Pearl River about 45 minutes from New York City. This is where AIM (Africa Inland Mission) has its headquarters, and I've been here since yesterday afternoon. I met my team yesterday, which consists of me and 5 other girls ranging from 19 to 23. Please pray for them, if you are praying for my mission. Their names are: Bea, Alli, Amanda, Kristen, and Mackenzie. They're all amazing girls, and I am so excited to get to know them more and to share this experience with them, to serve alongside them. This is a great group; we got to talk a lot tonight and we're all from different backgrounds, such a variety of experiences. Half of us came from Christian homes, the other half didn't. Very interesting the way God works.

All of today has been encompassed by meetings, I think we had 8 or 9. From finances to cultural differences to worldview to travel info, we've had just about everything today. Yesterday I was so tired from the trip (and from the lack of sleep preceding the trip) that I fell asleep at about 7pm with all my clothes on and contacts, the whole bit. I slept for about 5 hours, woke up, changed into pj's, and then laid awake for about an hour. I did sleep another 5 hours or so, which was nice. We leave here tomorrow at 1pm for JFK airport and our flight is set to take off at 5:20. We have an 18 hour flight, which includes stopping in Senegal for about an hour, then on to Johannesburg (which from now on I will be referring to as JoBerg). We'll spend the night there on Thursday at a guest house. On Friday afternoon we fly out to Windhoek, Namibia's capital. We'll be there Sept. 12-19 for orientation/training, hopefully to be headed to Rehoboth on the 19th. It will be a long time coming!!

At the bottom of the post I made a map; first JoBerg, followed by Windhoek, then Rehoboth, is our plan. Just to give you a visual. :) I wanted to share just a few things that stood out from training today. Rae, our short-term coordinator, talked to us about the biblical basis of missions and what we really need to focus on and remember once we're out on the field. She read several passages from Isaiah, but this one really stood out:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
Isaiah 61:1-4

I love this description of what Jesus will do! It's incredible. He'll preach good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives. It's important to remember why we're here and especially when we're going out on missions. I think every believer everywhere is a missionary, some just have it as their sole occupation. :) Well, I can't talk much longer; lunch is soon and then we set off for the airport. Thank you all for your prayers, and please feel free to leave comments. God bless!!

the edge of all the light

2008-09-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly."
Patrick Overton

I came across that quote a few weeks ago and I just fell in love with it. It helps me describe a lot of what I'm feeling right now. I feel like I am at the edge of the light; I'm at the point where anything beyond this will be unfamiliar. Going to Africa. Leaving everyone I know. Living with strangers. Serving as a missionary. Learning to live in a completely different culture. All of these are things I've never done before. I have a very vague picture of what life will be like and what I will experience. I know enough to know... that I don't know anything.

The solid ground I stand on is Christ; without Him I wouldn't be doing any of this, I wouldn't even have the desire to. He is the impetus, the driving force, the reason, the motivation, the One who keeps me going and the One who gave me the joy and passion for this in the first place. It was all His idea and I certainly won't be the one taking credit for His stuff. On the other side of this quote, I also know that I trust God will give me wings, the ability to survive and even thrive in these conditions that are so unlike anything I've experienced in my life. He will take anything weak or ugly or painful and turn them into things so beautiful that we never could have seen them if His light hadn't illuminated them.

I've been looking at some scripture that encourages me as I walk in God's path; He has left behind the stories of so many faithful for us to look to and follow. Like the story of Abraham, called out of his country and the familiarity of a place he'd lived all his life. Called to follow God without question, without knowing what lay ahead or what he would encounter.

God told Abram: "Leave your country, your family, and your father's home for a land that I will show you. I'll make you a great nation and bless you. I'll make you famous; you'll be a blessing. I'll bless those who bless you; those who curse you I'll curse. All the families of the Earth will be blessed through you." So Abram left just as God said.
Genesis 12:1-4

God promises him this incredible thing; that from him will come a great nation and that anyone who helps Abraham out, God in turn will bless them. Abraham is asked to leave his parents, brothers, sisters, and everyone he knew (except for his wife) and leave, to end up in a place God hadn't even revealed to him yet. And he did it! He just obeyed God without questioning Him; without second guessing Him or wondering if He really knew what He was talking about. I don't think I have faith like that yet. It took a lot of thinking and pondering and praying and deliberating before I'd decided to even spend 3 months away from home, let alone leave my entire life the way that Abraham did. What I'm doing now is so small compared to what these godly men in the Bible did.

Everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear. It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice.
Phil. 1:12-18

I've been hearing so many people talk and preach about Paul lately; I really think God is trying to get this into my head. Paul is one of those people I look to with such respect and admiration. He followed God's call for his life even when it led to imprisonment, torture, humiliation, just extreme suffering and what should have been despair. He never said it was unfair, he never assumed he was better or more faithful and therefore shouldn't have had to endure these things. I love this passage from Philippians which Paul writes from a prison cell, just words of complete joy and utter abandonment to the cause of Christ. These days I see believers complain about low incomes, small houses, bad schools, expensive gas, and the type of music they hear at church. We are focused on the tiniest, most trivial things and we are neglecting the huge concepts of love, grace, forgiveness, and joy (just like Jesus tells the Pharisees).

I love this passage because Paul says no matter how Christ is preached -- whether it's by people who hate him, or people who have good intentions, or people who are just gossiping -- however it gets out, the point is, it gets out. People are hearing about Jesus and many are learning who He is and turning to Him. People are getting saved even when Jesus is being talked about for the most horrible reasons. Paul says he doesn't even care how it happens as long as it happens; as long as people are coming to Christ and lives are being changed. He knows that God can take anything, even the worst circumstances, and turn them into things that will glorify Himself and ultimately bring good.

I want my heart to be like Paul's. I want more of a servant's heart. To give all of my energy, time, resources, and passion to loving the lost, to spreading the Good News; to counting it all as loss for the sake of His Name; that He would become greater and I would become less. Please pray for me when God brings me to your mind. Pray for my motivation; that my foundation would continue to be the Lord and not anything else that would hinder His work.

This has been an amazing year of change in my life and I am incredibly excited and in awe of what God's been doing and continues to do with me and around me. He is such a creative, powerful, beautiful, and good God.

I know You gave the world Your only Son....

2008-08-25T01:16:00.000-07:00

The past few days I was able to spend near San Diego with Danielle. It was an amazing time of relaxation and calm. God showed us such beautiful things, and allowed us to enjoy Him in a very real way. We were so blessed the entire trip. (She is a GREAT trip buddy!!) I can't say enough about how much I loved seeing the ocean, walking along the shore with all the world around us foggy and gray; I think it's so beautiful.

Today I was able to go to service and it was wonderful. The message and the music were both phenomenal. I was able to hear a song I loved but I hadn't heard in a while. I'm going to post the lyrics here - they're short but powerful. It's by Hillsong, if anyone cares to download it. :) I was reminded very strongly today of what Jesus did for me, and the responsibility and the JOY I need to have in proclaiming His name to everyone, anyone I come into contact with. I need to pursue God recklessly and without hindrance, throwing off anything that is holding me back from fully living in His presence and abundance. Praise God for His mercies, for being limitless, for being loving beyond my comprehension.

Also, there's 2 weeks until I leave for New York (Sept. 8) followed 2 days later by leaving for Namibia. I can't even believe it! Please be praying that last minute details would be worked out, I'd get everything I need to take over there, and that God would bless our team from the beginning!!

---------

The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems
forgiven I’m alive, restored, set free

Your majesty resides inside of me
forever I believe, forever I believe

Arrested by Your truth and righteousness
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness

Convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
Your love will never fail
Your love will never fail

Cause I know You gave the world Your only Son
for us to know Your name

To live within the Savior's love
and He took my place
knowing He’d be crucified

and You loved... You loved a people undeserving

New information surfacing

2008-08-13T02:37:00.000-07:00

Today I got a call from Rae, my coordinator from AIM. She was able to give me a bunch of new information, which was really exciting. Basically, here's what I know now:

* leave date definitely September 8, 2 days of orientation in New York, then getting to Namibia Sept. 12
* my return date is November 25, 2 days before Thanksgiving
* our team is staying the same; 5 women including me, 1 other teacher and 1 nurse included
* we will be in Rehoboth, Namibia, which is 90 miles south of the capital (Windhoek)
* we will be working with a Lutheran church there, in some type of school as well, and doing various random tasks as the opportunities present themselves
* probably will be living with elders' families or families within the church
* conditions should be pretty nice as far as Africa goes; running water, electricity, and fairly comfortable arrangements

I think that was pretty much it. I'm waiting on a few more checks to come in that I know are on their way, and that will put me right around what I need for my budget. God has been and continues to be incredibly faithful and constantly surprises me. He has done so many amazing things this year, with regards to this trip and just with my life. Please pray I would continue to seek after Him, to keep Him as my focus and my one desire.

Praying for patience & trust

2008-08-05T03:23:00.000-07:00

Hello readers. Just a quick update. Our leave date is now September 8, set to arrive in Namibia on September 12. Still no return date. I am waiting on plane tickets as well as trip confirmation, as well as the rest of my mission support! Please pray for this, and for me to have patience and trust that God knows what He's doing, even when I have no clue! He is good, and sovereign. Praise Him! I'm so excited for what He's doing in my life.

Change of Venue -- Namibia!

2008-06-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

Well friends, a quick update. Most of you know, my mission location has now been changed to Namibia. The director of the orphanage in Tanzania that we were supposed to go to was in a car accident and is now not able to run the orphanage. Please pray for him (his name is Samuel) and his 5 children. Pray that work may still continue and lives changed at the orphanage there in Musoma, Tanzania.

As of yesterday, me and my team will be going to Rundu, Namibia. Namibia is a large country on the western coast of Africa, just north of South Africa. The picture at the top there is where I'll be, just across the border from Angola. It sounds like a beautiful area and the time of year I'll be going there (late winter/early spring) should also be great. My team consists of 5 women; 3 teachers and 2 nurses. We will be working at a sanctuary for at-risk children, mostly orphans. These children eat, play, and learn at the sanctuary. Some of them also live there. The sanctuary is built on church grounds. On the grounds is also a missionary house; that is where we will most likely be staying. The best news: looks like there is running water and electricity! That was a big shock and nice surprise for me.

Please keep me and my team in your prayers; we have about 2 months before we're set to leave and still don't have exact dates, details, visas, plane tickets, etc. God will bring together all the details if He wants us there! He is faithful! Continue to pray for my financial support to be raised. I have about $2,800 left to go. Thanks so much! God bless.

A world of change

2008-05-23T13:17:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

Even as I write these words, I can't believe they are true and real.

I am going to live in Africa. Well, for a few months at least. For those of you unfamiliar with this development, let me enlighten you. I am teaming up with an organization called Africa Inland Mission and working in an orphanage in Musoma, Tanzania, which is a few hours over the Kenyan border in north central Tanzania, east Africa. I will get to love and care for children who have been orphaned, whether by disease, war, or other devastations.

I know much change will come from this experience; much growth; my eyes being opened to so many new things. I am so excited, a little nervous, but very amazed at all God has done so far. If you don't have a support letter from me, please contact me and I can get that to you.

email - turnthetides@gmail.com
phone - 602-330-6048

I will continue to update here.

love in Him,
Cathi :)