happy new year.

I’ve been so terrible at this blogging business, which makes me sad because there is so much I want to share, I just haven’t taken the time to sit down and write about it. Since I’ve last written on here I’ve bought my plane ticket to Uganda (I leave February 16), gotten most of my shots (Hep A, tetanus, polio, and malaria pills), procured my visa for the first three months in Uganda, and in general just been rolling a ball that will continue getting bigger and bigger until I leave in February. I’m currently in Chile, visiting my family here over Christmas and having a really corking time. I’m grateful to be able to come down here, I love it here. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, and the general atmosphere here is something I always miss when I leave. It’s a different world, but in many ways it’s not much different from anywhere else.

If I tried to convey the emotions I’ve felt and experiences I’ve had as I draw closer to leaving for Uganda, it would take a long time, and I wouldn’t be able to do them justice. Suffice it to say, much has happened, both around me and in my head. God has been working sweet things in me, some difficult, some wonderful to experience. He’s given me a huge heart for the homeless and the oppressed especially in Phoenix, and it’s been a huge blessing to be able to team up with other believers who also feel strongly about those things and to serve God in that way, by loving His people. It’s something I should always be doing, so the fact that I don’t follow God and I’m not more obedient in those areas is sometimes discouraging. Fortunately we serve a God who doesn’t hold sin over our heads, but redeems us, shows us mercy and unconditional love like we’ll never experience from any other source. And that is cause for constant celebration.

There have been times when I wondered if going to Africa was in any way a rebellion on my part, or a desire to escape from something, or anything that was contrary to God. I knew I talked about helping people, and especially helping people who are SUPER poor or discouraged or helpless… but how much did I think about helping someone across the street, or in my own city? People had previously asked me why I hadn’t ever considered doing a ministry within the city, why I felt I needed or really wanted to do ministry out of the country. I don’t know that I ever had a straight answer for that. But in the past year God has hugely grown my heart, and I feel I’ve obeyed certain things He’s asked me to do or put on my heart, one of which being an impromptu homeless ministry downtown myself and a few dear friends were able to be a part of. After being able to become part of a new church this last year, and doing this homeless ministry, and really feeling God move in different areas at my work, I can say that I am not running away from anything, or saying that ministry in Phoenix or in the US isn’t valid or important. The only difference is, where has God placed you? Where has He called you? And I don’t think He comes with a big neon sign, and I don’t think He always makes things super obvious. He works differently in every situation and in every person. There’s something Shane Claiborne quotes that says, “Find out where God is already at work, and get involved.” Or something to that effect. Sometimes something will just tug at your heart or you will see a ministry or a person that really calls to you, and for goodness sakes, join it! I’m completely on board with that.

All this to say, I feel God has more work for me to do, and more growth for me which He is going to do in Uganda for the next year, and I am so excited to see what that’s going to be like. I know it’ll come with its sorrows and hardships and discouragement and frustrations, as well as with its joys and growth and sweet experiences. But like Paul says, he has learned to live in all circumstances, because we can do all things through Him who gives us strength. Knowing all I do about the Lord, seeing what He’s done in me and through me (though I’ll never know why He chooses to use me, or any of us), and having Him confirm His character to me over and over and over, it only seems logical, it only seems natural to give Him everything, to follow Him anywhere.

Please pray for me as I prepare to leave. I would be so grateful for your petitions on my behalf, and feel so incredibly blessed with all the solid believers God has placed around me. Those of you who live in Phoenix and who I see frequently, I am going to miss having you be such a frequent part of my life and will miss all of your beautiful selves and the dynamic of our relationships here. However, I am not going to the Internet-free jungle zone, I will definitely be within electronic reach, so please do not hesitate to keep in touch with me, if you know me I GREATLY appreciate and feel encouraged by any emails, notes, facebook messages, phone calls, and hey, even visits to my neck of the woods! Don’t be shy! I love you all, to anyone who is reading, I hope your 2010 is very blessed.

beauty.

there are certain things that God can always get my attention with. one of those is the sky. I am absolutely enchanted and mesmerized by anything having to do with it. if you know me at all, you know that is an understatement. sunsets, clouds, the moon, storms... it all reminds me so much of His majesty, presence, and beauty.

the past week has been the kicker with the sky and all related weather. it's just been so incredible and joyful this week, God has filled me so much with who He is and has been constantly reminding me that He is sufficient, and not only that, He chooses to let us experience such amazing things they defy adequate description. on Monday I walked out of Starbucks only to see that it had sporadically started raining, so of course I went out and danced in it. how can I not?! :) and then I decided I wanted to get closer to the storm so I drove out about 20 miles to Tolleson, found an empty dark field, watched the lightning and stood in the rain. it was phenomenal. the rest of the week I just got to have other sweet experiences with the weather and sky.

thursday was another banner evening. the sunset as I drove home from meeting with a friend was glorious, deep orange and pink and the storm was starting to come in so that just made everything more beautiful. I took a drive out by Lake Pleasant that night, it's nice and dark out there and the lightning started while I was out there, which was so amazing to witness. later that night it began pouring and storming intensely, and I couldn't stand to be inside. I took a barefoot walk and got soaked, laid out in a grass field and got to watch the show our Creator was putting on. I can't even describe to you how beautiful that was.

yesterday, Danielle and I took a trip up to Williams and from there, took the Grand Canyon Railway to the well... Grand Canyon. we got a rainstorm on the way up there, and at the Canyon, not only did we experience the majesty that is the Canyon itself, it also got completely overcast while we were still there. Danielle and I watched the entire canyon darken and these deep majestic clouds roll in. I think we were just as enthralled by those clouds than by the actual Canyon :) right before we left, it began storming, so we got light wind and rain and plenty of thunder. words really begin to sound insufficient when describing all of these wonders. suffice it to say, I experience God's beauty in creation in abundance this week, and it has served to remind me once again that He is the author of everything I see, and is more than worthy all our praise and devotion.

God can't direct the steps you're not taking.

I wrote this in July and never finished; gonna post it anyway. This was dated July 13.

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crazy, crazy times, man.

you know it's intense when you can't quite find the words to describe what's going on. here goes.

the title of the blog came from a conversation I had with a coworker today. he basically discouraged me from sitting around "waiting for God to do something" when it comes to missions and Africa and encouraged me to take action, to look into opportunities, to run at this full force. what he said really made me think, and I have spent a lot of tonight looking at different websites for orphanages and whatnot.

I feel very uplifted and pumped up to once again look into different places and just get excited about missions again. my heart longs for it, and I truly believe God has placed that desire and passion on my heart.

of homelessness and hope. of chaos and joy.

I just feel like I'm at a point in my life where there are no adequate words to describe what is happening around me, to convey what has been going on inside of me. So I will attempt to do that today, but be warned, I feel it will be a ludicrously insufficient description.

I still feel in a bit of a limbo between two continents, two frames of mind, two purposes in life. I still love Africa and missions desperately, and want to invest more of my life and time there... soon. I am waiting on some more info right now for a possible trip back there. But in the meantime, God is doing amazing things in me and around me here, and I want to make sure I don't miss out on that. I want to live fully here in this moment. I absolutely believe it's okay to look forward to things and be excited about them. But I don't want to live always for the next thing, and miss out on what's happening right now. God has things to teach me and show me and use me in, in the present.

I'll try to summarize what's been going on in my life lately. It mostly centers on church, because it's something that's been a source of conflict and confusion and frustration lately. Basically since I've gotten back from Namibia in November I have struggled with the church I go to, CCV, and just the American mindset/lifestyle in general. I could talk about this for a long time. (I'd encourage you to read a post I wrote in Namibia called "Tiptoeing Towards Death" - scroll down the page.) If you have talked to me in the last 6 months, you know what I mean. I just felt so frustrated at how people were living, how extravagant and wasteful and unappreciative people seemed to be. Among other things. I got back to CCV and was kind of like, "What am I doing here? This feels weird, and it used to not be like this." But I left almost immediately for Chile so I didn't get time here to process things before leaving again.

When I got back from Chile I still felt like I was overwhelmed by the culture and mentality of things here, and I especially felt odd at church and couldn't fully explain why. I would feel on and off about things. Some weeks I went to church or to volunteer at junior high and would feel fine. Other times I couldn't even walk inside of the building, and really had little words to try to explain why. At one point maybe 5 or 6 weeks ago it got intense enough that I left junior high early one night and just needed to take a break. It was just too hard to be there, I felt so out of place. A lot of this barely makes sense in my head, so hopefully you can get some sense of where I'm coming from. I decided to take a break from going to church at all so I could wrestle with all of this and come to some sort of a conclusion.

About a week later, I was at Starbucks (shocking, I know) talking to a few friends about my struggle with church and all that had been going on with me. While talking to them, a woman who was sitting with her husband in the next table over interrupted us and asked if we were having a Bible study. We started talking and she ended up telling us about her church -- how much she loved it, how close their community was, how they did outreach and wanted to take Jesus out into the world instead of expecting people to come to church to hear about Him. Everything she said sounded a lot like what I was looking for, including the fact that it was small, which I knew was a direction I wanted to head in.

Well, Amber (the woman from Starbucks) was so nice and encouraging and friendly that I decided, why not check it out. So 2 weekends ago I went to their church. It's called Life Connection and it's on I-17 and Indian School (it's not as far as it sounds). Well, I really loved it. The people were very genuine and real. I loved what the pastor had to say and just got a very good vibe (I hesitate saying vibe but that's the best way to describe it). The pastor had a sweet mix of humor, sound doctrine, and was just very REAL... I know I keep using that word, but I just feel it's the easiest way to say it. So, I went back again last weekend, and it was even better, and I got to meet a few new people, really awesome people. That day some guys got up and announced that on Saturday (today) they were going to meet and take food and water to homeless people in the city. It was just so cool when they said that, because the kind of church I'm looking for would do those kinds of things all the time. So I got really excited about that!

That was what happened today. It was just one of those incredible experiences that while you're doing it, it doesn't impact you quite as much as when you look back on it and try to begin to grasp what just happened. I met up at the church with a group of like 15 people, most of whom I'd never met. I love now that I completely did something out of character for me, and delved into something that I didn't know much about. I only felt compelled to do this, and passionate about it as well. So I met a whole host of new and sweet people today and I am really pumped about that. God is very good. So what we were originally supposed to do was go down to this park by North Mountain and hand out food there. Well, we went there, only every homeless person there seemed to already have food. Which is amazing, I'm so glad they would have eaten anyway today, but we were thinking, what now?! And I think this is where having a small group came in handy. We really wanted to be able to give out all the food we had (about 50 sandwiches, fruit, and water). And it's like, if we drive around enough, we'll definitely find people who need food. For crying out loud. I really enjoyed it because that's exactly what this group wanted to do - just drive until we found people. Sweet.

So we ended up going downtown (like 15th Ave & Jefferson-ish) and parking in a random neighborhood, and just started giving out food. We had a lot of people come and find us. Some we sought out. Some came, got their food, and left, but some stayed around and talked. We then migrated about a mile away and hung out by a community center/shelter and there were just dozens of people who needed food. And they were so grateful. It was really cool to just be a part of that, a part of bringing hope and love and compassion to this area that seems to be so neglected. Almost everyone was very kind and thankful for the food and, also, I think to have people that were willing to engage with them.

There is something extremely powerful in purposely connecting and spending time with people who are outcasted, forgotten, and avoided by society in general. If you want to have an experience with God and His people, go out and find someone who fits into that category in some way and spend some time investing in them. I think you'll be amazed at what happens. They're usually incredibly interesting and have sweet stories to tell... and when you are genuine about your concern and care for them, it's apparent to them and just is such a simple way of reaffirming God's love for them.

We walked around for a bit after we'd run out of food, which I'm glad about. We found an old abandoned building with these plaques on the side of it. They were focused on having hope even though it feels like this place has no trace of God or goodness in it. One posterboard asked people to write their prayer requests so they could be prayed for. It was filled up, with people asking for help with finding a job, overcoming an alcohol addiction, or having family problems. You name it. We also heard singing at some point and could not figure out where it was coming from. We ended up following the voice and it led us to this tiny church building. We could hear the singing and preaching from the street because there was a megaphone attached to the outside of the building. So we walked inside, about 10 of us white folks (mostly younger girls), to a room full of black people who were praising God with everything they had. There was just a drum and a lady speaking, but she was filled with the Spirit in a way that's very difficult to describe, and that leaves you in awe.

I think we forget to be passionate. About God, about the gospel, about our interactions with each other, just about life in general. We have these very specific routines and ways of doing things and we've done them for so long, we forget anything else was ever part of our lives. And there can be good in routine and in getting used to some things -- but not when our lives become stagnant, and we've overstayed our welcome at a place that God is done using us at. This is what I felt has been going on in my life lately. I felt stale, like I wasn't being used, and at times, not willing to be used. But now that I've been going to this new church and just meeting all kinds of new people and exposing myself to new things... different things... I feel re-energized and I am so ready to see what is next and what crazy things God is going to do.

The experience today was much needed and I am so in awe of God orchestrating something like this. He's such a great and powerful and gracious God. I wish I could convey to you the joy I felt driving back home after my experience today. I wish I could impart a small part of the peace I felt, of the passion inside of me. These words have been lacking. But if you walk away with one thing, let it be a joy in knowing that He is praiseworthy, sufficient, sovereign, and utterly worthy of our continuous devotion to Him and the people He loves and died for.

.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

-C.S. Lewis

Love. Faith. Trust. Courage.

These are all risks, walking out into something unknown and trusting something, Someone, is going to be there to catch us, to secure us, to love us. To affirm the fact that we fell, that we jumped, and it's okay, and we should do it again, because even though it was terrifying when we jumped, it was also a miracle that we were caught. And it makes you fall in love with your Rescuer all over again, every time.

If you never use your heart, who cares if it's broken or not? What is the use of having feelings or making choices or picking one road over another when if it comes down to it, you are never going to take a risk, you're just going to stay in your safety zone forever? Over the past 2 years God has taught me a lot about trust. He's taught me that when I had in mind isn't what He had in mind. No, His plans are always bigger, and better, and more bold. They may seem crazy to some but to me it's just another confirmation that I'm in His loving arms, being led in the directions He wants to lead me. The safest place in the world I can be is where God wants me. Doing whatever work He has sent me to do.

I've been wanting to write this post for a while. For some reason I always run out of time or get distracted doing something else. But so much has happened in my life! I got back from Namibia, spent less than 2 weeks at home, and then went to Chile for 5 weeks to see my family. That was really great. Beautiful places. Since I've been back in Phoenix, I've been substitute teaching in the Peoria District. Jobs have been rare at best; a very unstable and unpredictable job. I've been looking for a full time job and praise God, I've finally got one. I'll be working at North Phoenix Baptist Church in their preschool. I'm excited to finally have something steady! The ladies there are REALLY nice.

God has continued to put Africa on my heart and mind since Christmas. It is where I feel I will ultimately end up. I don't know in what way exactly, or where I'll be, what I'll be doing, or anything. But I really feel that is where God is going to take me back. I feel inexplicably drawn there: to the land, to the people, to the culture. Please pray for me, that I would be patient, that I would let God lead, but also balance that with taking risks and stepping out in faith, knowing that God is there no matter what. There are a lot of opportunities to go back; I don't know how or when it'll happen. I love Him, and I know He has great plans for me.

when did we see You hungry?

Should you not divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into the house, and when you see the naked, cover him, and not hide yourself from your own flesh? If you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones, and you will be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 58

Hello all. Wow, time really does fly. As I write this, I will be home in 4 weeks. I leave Rehoboth in 3 ½ weeks. I can’t believe my time here is coming to an end; at times it feels like I’ve been here forever, at others like I just got here and have my whole trip ahead of me. Things have been difficult, heartbreaking, monotonous, exciting, dreary, numbing, interesting, and everything in between. If you have ever spent time on a foreign mission trip you may understand what I’ve been going through. It’s a mixture of a ton of varied experiences and emotions.

One of my teammates, Kristen, just left for a weeklong trip back to the US for her brother’s wedding. On November 8, the whole Rehoboth team (all 13 of us) will have a group Thanksgiving (I guess Canada’s Thanksgiving falls in early October, and 2 of the women on our team are Canadian, so we are compromising by celebrating in early November). Alli, a girl on my team, and me will be heading to Etosha National Park on the 15-17. This is the type of place we should get to see elephants, lions, giraffes etc. So we’re really excited! Camping out among the wildlife!

Things have settled down at the preschool. MollyBea and I feel more comfortable working with Sylvia and Linda now, and feel we are making some progress there. We have implemented a schedule of sorts; being Africa and with a different culture and language, many times the schedule doesn’t work out, or something else is going on that day, or whatever. Many times either Linda or Sylvia is sick or not there that day. It’s a bit more difficult on those days. But now I feel very comfortable with most of the kids, even though I don’t speak the same language as them. It’s a lot of body language, gesturing, and of course translation by one of the native women. The kids are just precious (though most can be quite a handful when they have their “moments”, especially the boys) and I can’t wait to post pictures of them after I get home so you can see their mischievous and cute little faces.

Please pray for these kids and this preschool. They are in such need. As I’ve talked about before, many of them only get one meal a day, and that is usually a piece of bread, or some leftover noodles on a special occasion. They drink dirty water, there’s a huge lack of sanitation across the spectrum, many have lost at least one parent or have one in hospital. I see children come to school in dirty, smelly clothes, some not bringing any food at all, many having to stay in their dirty, soiled clothes because they’ve nothing else to change into. This is a far, far cry from even the poorest school I’ve seen in Phoenix. If nobody intervenes, these children will continue to grow up in these circumstances, having little chance at an education, the remotest chance of going to college, and will probably never leave this 3-mile radius of Blok E they call home.

I have begun to look into partnering with Feed My Starving Children, an organization which sends out food packages to needy children across the world. I know that although they can provide food, they cannot provide shipping, and shipping overseas is costly. I will keep everyone updated as to how you can help and possibly donate to this effort. After I get back to the US, I would eventually like to send more supplies over, such as pencils, glue, scissors, books, and other things that are scarce in the school. Sending money can also be a great help, especially to buy food for children who aren’t eating. Pray that God does a mighty work with this school, these children, this city, this country. Even though Namibia is one of the more westernized countries, with some paved roads and modern conveniences, much of it is still very undeveloped, and poverty is still rampant, as I see firsthand every day.

I urge you to consider the lives of people outside of your own family, friends, and community. Not even just this little city in Namibia, but in the US and around the world. Children starve every day, people die from lack of access to clean water, and many other easily preventable causes. Maybe you’ll never make it to Africa, but there are impoverished, destitute people everywhere. Get involved. Find a child to sponsor. Find a soup kitchen to volunteer at. If you’re able to, consider adoption. It may take only one kind gesture or act of kindness to change a person’s life. Be someone willing to step outside of your comfort zone, willing to look for those who are suffering, whether it be emotionally, physically, spiritually.

What is the Lord calling you to do? What are you passionate about? What do you wish you cared more about? What is a cause worthy of your allegiance? If you call yourself a Christian, then no excuse is going to be good enough. If you aren’t helping, why not? And I don’t just mean paying tithing or adopting a child at Christmas or giving change to the Salvation Army. I mean if you call yourself a believer, if you follow the risen Christ, then you should be eagerly walking in His footsteps, seeking out the brokenhearted, searching for the lost, and seeing where you can be Christ to people who don’t know Him. These broken souls are our brothers and sisters. Why are we neglecting our family? This wasn’t planned. I didn’t intend to say most of this. But when you come to places like this and you get involved in people’s lives, it becomes more than just following a command or being obedient to God. You develop relationships with those in need. God’s children, who are crying out for Him. Who are seeking His face in people all around them. Will they find it in you? Or will they have to keep looking?

“Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?”

Then Jesus will answer them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did not do it to Me.”

Matthew 25

Tiptoeing Towards Death

All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don’t tiptoe.

Has it ever hit you that everything you believed was wrong, or that you were living on the wrong side of the fence, and you suddenly realized that things in your heart and life and mind were going to have to change drastically, that it wasn’t even an option, but that you felt fully compelled and drawn – and even excited – to take that risk and to turn everything upside down because you knew there was no other way to live anymore? I can’t adequately describe it to you, but that’s more or less what’s been happening in my life. I’m not even sure where to begin or how to communicate this to you in a way that will help you understand the amalgam of thoughts and ideas that have been swirling in my head.

I was given the book “Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claiborne a few days ago by Steph, a girl who’s also an AIM missionary in Rehoboth. It had been recommended to me several times, but I hadn’t gotten around to reading it. (If you haven’t read this book, it’s an understatement to say I highly suggest you go and find it immediately. In fact, stop reading this blog. All that’s important to me is that you get your hands on it.) Let me give you a quick background on this guy Shane who wrote the book.

He’s is in his early 30’s, and he calls himself an “ordinary radical”. He grew up in eastern Tennessee, smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt, raised Methodist. Sometime in college he had a breakthrough where his faith became real and he realized he wasn’t living out the gospels that way Jesus had outlined. He ended up spending a month in Calcutta with Mother Theresa, chillin’ with some lepers, hanging out with the homeless in downtown Philadelphia, and eventually moving into one of the poorest areas in Philly to start a community called The Simple Way. His whole book (and the community he and his friends started) is basically a call back to the basics of the Christian faith, when people gave up everything for Jesus, were radical, went against the grain, and it was all about community and growing and loving together and sharing everything and that nobody was left needy or destitute.

So this guy Shane has been to prison more times than he can count because he does stuff like go to rallies and marches and just stands alongside the marginalized, the oppressed, the people who are badly in need of some love and friendship and just someone who cares. He went to Iraq not too long after the war started just to show Iraqis that Americans still cared and that Jesus didn’t take sides, and basically apologizing for all their people who are being wounded and killed. I mean this is some intense stuff. And it just got me thinking even more about what God’s purpose for my life is, and where He wants me, and what I should be doing. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed at all the possibilities and all the different directions I could see myself going and wondering if I want to do things because they’re easy or convenient or whatever else. I just want to passionately pursue God and love people. And I don’t know what that’s going to look like in my life. I feel like I need SO much more compassion and love for people; there’s no way I could ever do it without massive amounts of mercy and strength from the Lord. I want to feel what they feel; to rejoice with those that rejoice and mourn with those that mourn and really feel connected to more people. I really want to seek out people that society has cast aside and essentially thrown away, and I don’t even know where to begin. And it also scares the daylights out of me! All of these are wonderful ideas and concepts, and believers throughout time have beautifully demonstrated these things in their lives, but what about me? I’m selfish and sinful and hypocritical and weak and broken. But my God transforms people, and I’ve experienced that power firsthand. I know He performs miracles and He’s in the business of showing His strength through our weakness.

I had thought about a lot of these things before, and obviously a lot of it was the reason I came to Africa; I wanted to live and work among the poor and the people that the world seems to have forgotten, and I really felt my heart was here. I’ve just been reminded (both by this book and by living down here) that there is such inequality in society, such injustice; such a gap between the well-off and the incredibly poor. It’s really stark in Namibia. I can walk from a nice 4-bedroom house with electricity and running water with plenty of food, to a tin shack with no light, no water, no plumbing, and people rummaging through garbages for food in less than twenty minutes. And I think we get numb to it, and don’t even think about it anymore, and don’t let the enormity hit us, the fact that so little of the world owns so much of the stuff, and isn’t sharing it. That they don’t even want to share it, or see why they should have to. Many of us never even drive through a neighborhood where people are living without basic needs being met. We have, for the most part, largely separated ourselves from those in a different social class than ourselves. We might not even think about it, but most of us could probably drive twenty, thirty minutes and find people in these situations. And maybe not even just those who are financially poor, but those who are spiritually dead, depressed, hopeless, discouraged, and who feel utterly alone.

My trip is not even a third over and I’ve already been inundated with so much; sometimes I wonder why God thinks I can handle all of it! Getting fired up and righteously angry can be exhausting and overwhelming at times, but I feel so connected to God then, and really believe that He can redeem any situation; can rescue any person from their tumultuous past; can heal any wound that anyone has ever or will ever have. And He can and will use His servants, but His servants must have the same heart and mind as He does. He doesn’t need us, but He chooses to use us. He’s shouting to us; begging that we come follow Him; that we be His body, that we be invested in the lives of the broken, the meek, the afflicted, the lowly. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to tiptoe through life, hoping to arrive at death with as much caution as possible. Life is complicated. Serving God is messy. It doesn’t usually make sense; in fact, it has been known to make people outcasts, to get them thrown in prison, to be harassed, and to be martyred. The most amazing things done for God have been done by people getting their hands dirty, by not marching to the same drum as the rest of the world, by acknowledging God over men, by pursuing His glory instead of their own. I want to run through life full force, eyes on the prize of heaven, knowing that I have served Jesus and shared Him with as many people as I possibly could.

Other than that, things around here have been pretty normal! Here are some things I’d appreciate your prayers for:

- My teammates here; please pray for their homesickness, for effectiveness in ministry; against discouragement and apathy; and for God to empower us in His strength to do His work here

- To be focused not on frustrations, difficulties, or barriers, but rather on sharing God’s love and mercy with others and building relationships with them

- For MollyBea and I to be passionate and excited about working with our kids; to help them get organized and get on some kind of a schedule so there isn’t so much chaos; for us to have enormous amounts of love and compassion for them

- That I would simply focus on being Jesus and let Him do the rest


Thank you for reading, and thank you as well for all your support and encouragement. Oh, and if by chance you want to send me anything while I’m here (flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep…) here is my address:

Cathi Geisler c/o Lenie Van Wyk
P.O. Box 4067
Rehoboth 9000
Namibia

Just shoot me an email if you send something so I can be on the lookout.

In His reckless love,
Cathi

True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that a system that produces beggars needs to be repaved. We are called to be the Good Samaritan, but after you lift so many people out of the ditch you start to think, maybe the whole road to Jericho needs to be repaved.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.