True religion

True religion in the sight of God our Father is this: to visit widows and orphans in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
James 1:27

I can’t really think of a more appropriate quote at this time. Today (I wrote this on Monday, the 22nd) was the first day I went to Sylvia’s “preschool”. The reason I call it that is because it is not at all what I expected or envisioned, and really, compared to what even the lowest standard in the United States is, the simplest school, this place is atrocious. The adventure started at 7:30 am, when I left my house in Block D. I’d be walking to Block E, which is about as far from where I am as you can get and still be in Rehoboth. I met Steph at her house, which is about 15 minutes from mine. She needed to go make some copies of coloring book pages for the kids we’d be visiting. The copy place was about 10 minutes away. After the copies were made, we walked to MollyBea’s house to pick her up. That was another 15 minutes. From there we walked another 10 to pick up Ruth, one of the ladies who is here for a year with her husband and 2 daughters. We rested there for about 10 minutes, then headed out for the final stretch. That was another half hour. So we’re looking at the fact that I’ve walked about an hour and a half. I was so exhausted by that point! (If you know me, you understand. I’m a wimp.)

I was starting to feel the intense heat of the day beginning and the sun beating down on me, the dust getting into my shoes and my mouth and eyes, the dizziness beginning, my mouth drier than I ever remember it being. It felt like we’d never get to where we were supposed to be. We finally came into Block E, which you can recognize instantly by the tin shacks which are all over the place. People living in the simplest and harshest conditions. If you’ve been keeping up on my blog, Block E is the equivalent of Katutura in Windhoek. We finally got to the preschool probably around 9:30. It was powerful. Moment we were in view we had about twenty children running towards us. We’d experienced this a few times in Windhoek visiting some orphanages and schools. It is so obvious how desperate these kids are for love, attention, a touch, a smile, anything. I had a little girl, about 3, cling to me for about ten minutes. I found out later that her name is Jeanette. She had the cutest smile you’ll ever see in the entire world. Several of the children latched onto each of us.

We met Sylvia, who runs the place. It is a one-room, cement building with sheets for a roof. No electricity, no running water, no bathroom. At least half of the kids weren’t wearing shoes, which generally means that they don’t own any. The room they’re in is about 12 x 20 feet – rough estimate. Definitely not big enough to comfortably house thirty little ones!! Some kids looked really dirty; some not too bad. Some things that surprised me were that they had enough plastic chairs for about 80% of the kids, some little tables, and a few larger chairs for adults. There were some signs on the wall with different shape or color names. Sylvia had written the numbers one through ten on the wall as well. They had a minimal supply of scissors, paper, coloring sheets, and crayons. There was a big, old area rug on the floor which the kids sit on during group time.

When we got there they had some singing time. The kids are really good at repetition or echoing, and Sylvia has taught them a lot of songs. We sang a few in Dama (that is the language most of the people in Block E speak) and a few in English. About 90% of the kids are Nama speaking, which is a relatively small tribe found in Namibia. The rest are Owanbo, the darkest skinned native Namibians. Apparently the Basters (which is the dominant group for sure in Rehoboth) won’t set foot in Block E. They are a very proud people. I think it would bring too much shame on them if they were to admit they were that poor. Shame is a huge issue here, just like in places like Japan where people will kill themselves because they brought shame to their family.

So, after singing time the kids ate their lunch. Here comes a really tough part. About 30% of the kids don’t bring any lunch at all, for whatever reason. Their parents spent the money on alcohol, or they’re just too poor to eat every day, whatever it may be. So anyone that brings lunch has to put half of it in a basket and then it is redistributed to the kids that didn’t bring anything. Almost like a mini version of communism, but it actually works. We were so surprised to see these kids willingly give up half of their food, which really, in most cases, was just 2 pieces of bread with nothing on them. So that was real difficult to watch and to know it happens every day.

After that, they went to play outside for about half an hour. Some boys were wrestling; the girls were just kind of hanging out. We did a few organized games like Ring Around the Rosey or Duck Duck Goose. They love that one. They loved doing the Hokey Pokey as well. Anything that has repetition or an echo they were really good at, which is honestly the same with kids no matter how rich or poor they are, or where they live, so that was cool to see. It makes it even more interesting since none of the kids speak English beyond understanding “what is your name?” and a few other things. After outside time the kids came back in and colored for a while. The oldest ones have learned to write their name, although many can only do it if they see it written first. After that, the last thing they did was to all gather around on the floor rug and it was story time. Sylvia put me on the spot and asked me to tell a story, so I told Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, which I totally butchered, but the kids couldn’t understand anyway, so I really tried to emphasize things, and gesture, and change my inflection!! Haha.

We left soon after that, it was about 11:30. Most of the kids leave between then and noon. Parents don’t really come pick them up, they just all walk back to their houses. These kids that are 4 and 5 years old. It’s just so foreign to me, and sad as well. Leaving was hard; I wanted the kids to understand that we would be back the next day. I hope Sylvia communicated that to them. The thing that makes it even harder is that even though it’s in Block E, that’s super poor, there is a primary school just across the street from the preschool that has electricity, water, classrooms, etc etc. I can’t imagine being a kid and wondering why I don’t get what “those” kids get. It must seem so unfair and confusing to them. So anyway, that is the gist of what MollyBea and I will be doing the next 2 and 5 months, respectively (MollyBea’s staying until February). Sylvia also mentioned wanting to start an afternoon tutoring program for the kids who will go to first grade next year. That would tentatively be from M-Th from 3-5pm. I don’t know if we’ll be helping with that, or exactly how that will look. As you can see, there is much to pray for! Since I’m a list person, I’m going to just bullet a few things I’d covet your prayers for. Thank you so much for reading, keeping up-to-date, and being supportive. I know I’m wordy!!


· Pray for MollyBea and I as we help at Sylvia’s school each day; that we would have patience, endurance, and compassion for these children
· For Sylvia as she basically runs this school by herself and manages 30+ kids a day; for her weariness and stamina; for her walk with God to be strong and consistent
· That we would be creative and unique with the ways we teach the kids, or play with them; the games we teach them, the ways we interact with them, that it would be pleasing to God and would show these kids His love
· That these children would be encouraged; that God would intervene and bless them; that miracles would happen and they would feel His love
· That our eyes would constantly be centered on the cross and on His great love; that that would fuel us and be our resource; that we would not grow so drained that we become ineffective
· For God’s love and message of redemption to be spread throughout Rehoboth and that many would be saved


And some praises:

· Praise Him for Sylvia; for her energy, compassion, and joyful, faithful heart as she serves God’s kids here
· That we are able to walk to the school, though it is long and arduous, we still have the capability to do so and that is a gift
· That the kids are guaranteed food at school, though it may be very little; it is something
· That God’s plans are bigger than we could ever fathom and we get to be part of what He is doing here


Thank you! Dankie!! :)


*Update*: Since writing this on Monday, MollyBea and I have decided to go help at the afterschool program on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, and go in the morning on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Also, the walk there is getting easier, though it is still a good 2 miles each way (maybe more) and it is exhausting in the heat!!

And some pictures I borrowed from my team members (y'all won't be able to see my pictures until I get back).

Katutura, Windhoek

The team in Windhoek

What most of Rehoboth looks like

Team again

this is finally Africa.

In the past few days it feels like I've finally gotten to experience some of what I imagined Africa to be like, or what I expected my experience here to involve. It's been an intense few days, for sure. God has really been opening my eyes to how different it is here, and how spoiled I've been, and just how ignorant I am. How sovereign He is.

On Monday we had a lady called Julie come and talk to us about AIDS – how it's spread, how many people are affected by it (1/4 of the population in Namibia has it; the 2nd highest in the world), what the public's perception of it is here. That afternoon we had another lady called Hanalie come and talk to us. She was a prostitute before she became a Christian. She's lost her
family's support due to the fact that she has AIDS. Her young child does too. Hers was a sad story, but also an amazing story of how God redeems lives – I can't even put into words how
cool her story was. She has such an amazing faith and a hope. She talked about forgiving her family for shunning her, for not living in the suffering of her disease but rather reaching out to people. She helps prostitutes that she used to work with and now works at a children's home in the poor part of Windhoek. We are actually going to visit her tomorrow and see the kids there.

On Monday afternoon after taking Hanalie back to her work, Mick's wife drove us through Katutura, which is the poorest section of Windhoek. This section of the city was started about 80 years ago because that is where the black people were forced to stay during apartheid. So even though apartheid was outlawed here in 1994, there are still people here that are hugely racist and that are very segregated. Katutura is still an extremely poor, dirty, and generally lowly looked upon area. It's crazy to think that if we'd come here 15 years ago, there would have been segregation, that it would have been completely inappropriate for us to interact with black Africans. So we drove through Katutura and most of the houses are just made out of zinc, a kind of metal that people cut into large sheets and bolt or string together with rope. I mean this is like the poorest of the poor. No electricity, dirt floors, no stoves or refrigerators or plumbing or any convenience. It's a really violent area and people are in constant fear. Needless to say it was a sobering and humbling experience.

Yesterday, Tuesday, we went early in the morning to what is called an AIDS testing center. This one is run by the Catholic Church and it's free. They test people for AIDS and HIV. We actually went through the whole process of getting counseled, asked questions, getting our blood taken (it was a finger prick) and seeing what our result was, whether or not we had HIV. I can't put this into enough words to describe what that was like. I have such a better understanding of what AIDS is, how it affects people, what the perception is, and what it's like to actually get tested for it. So very crazy and very amazing. After the testing 3 Namibian guys showed us around Katutura. We actually walked around the neighborhoods and in the markets. There were about 12 of us white people, and we got so many stares you wouldn't believe it. White people just don't come around those parts. It was an interesting experience for sure. We had lunch in that area, they had AMAZING bread!

We spent the afternoon yesterday hanging out with kids at a church's after school program. While we were waiting for the kids to get out of school, we were sitting around and one of our guides went to go buy some roasted worms. Yep! He came back from the store with a bag of
them and somehow convinced everyone in our group to eat one. I don't know how that happened! But I told myself I would regret not taking part in that experience. So I ate one. Head and all. It was super crunchy and black and tasted very chalky, but otherwise not much taste. The grossest part was that it was a worm, just the thought of that, not necessarily the taste. I gagged and almost spit it out, but finally swallowed it down with a bunch of water. So there you go!

Once the kids got there me and a few other girls went and read with some of the younger ones, they were 6 or 7. Some of them read to me a little (one's English was quite good) and then we spent the rest the time reading to them. It was my first real experience to just get to know a
few kids here and interact with them. They climb all over you and love to see your camera and love being in pictures and love being read to and have no sense of personal space! After their reading time was over they sang a few songs (gorgeous!) and then we played frisbee with them for the rest of the time. It was a good afternoon, but spending the whole day in Katutura was absolutely humbling and eye-opening.

That was what I really imagined when I thought of Africa. Here in Windhoek especially the gap between rich and poor is very wide, and you have Katutura 10 minutes away from very very expensive houses. Mick lives in upper middle class, basically, and that's where we've
been spending most of our time. To wrap up a very long post, God has been teaching me great things. Pray that I would keep my eyes and heart and mind open. I want to learn everything I can down here. I want to get my hands dirty and build relationships and cry and be joyful and be integrated in the culture. I want to be okay with making mistakes and doing things wrong and I want to suffer or rejoice along with these people. Thank you for your prayers. I ask you to continue them. I love you all.

In Africa

I think most of you have gotten an email from me anyway, so I'll just briefly state that I'm in Africa, in the capital city of Namibia called Windhoek. We'll be training this week and then off to Rehoboth on Friday. Please keep me and the team in prayer. Thank you for all of your support. I love you all!!

to bind up the brokenhearted | a few things I learned in Pearl River

Hello all.

I'm in New York right now, in a little town called Pearl River about 45 minutes from New York City. This is where AIM (Africa Inland Mission) has its headquarters, and I've been here since yesterday afternoon. I met my team yesterday, which consists of me and 5 other girls ranging from 19 to 23. Please pray for them, if you are praying for my mission. Their names are: Bea, Alli, Amanda, Kristen, and Mackenzie. They're all amazing girls, and I am so excited to get to know them more and to share this experience with them, to serve alongside them. This is a great group; we got to talk a lot tonight and we're all from different backgrounds, such a variety of experiences. Half of us came from Christian homes, the other half didn't. Very interesting the way God works.

All of today has been encompassed by meetings, I think we had 8 or 9. From finances to cultural differences to worldview to travel info, we've had just about everything today. Yesterday I was so tired from the trip (and from the lack of sleep preceding the trip) that I fell asleep at about 7pm with all my clothes on and contacts, the whole bit. I slept for about 5 hours, woke up, changed into pj's, and then laid awake for about an hour. I did sleep another 5 hours or so, which was nice. We leave here tomorrow at 1pm for JFK airport and our flight is set to take off at 5:20. We have an 18 hour flight, which includes stopping in Senegal for about an hour, then on to Johannesburg (which from now on I will be referring to as JoBerg). We'll spend the night there on Thursday at a guest house. On Friday afternoon we fly out to Windhoek, Namibia's capital. We'll be there Sept. 12-19 for orientation/training, hopefully to be headed to Rehoboth on the 19th. It will be a long time coming!!

At the bottom of the post I made a map; first JoBerg, followed by Windhoek, then Rehoboth, is our plan. Just to give you a visual. :) I wanted to share just a few things that stood out from training today. Rae, our short-term coordinator, talked to us about the biblical basis of missions and what we really need to focus on and remember once we're out on the field. She read several passages from Isaiah, but this one really stood out:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Isaiah 61:1-4

I love this description of what Jesus will do! It's incredible. He'll preach good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives. It's important to remember why we're here and especially when we're going out on missions. I think every believer everywhere is a missionary, some just have it as their sole occupation. :) Well, I can't talk much longer; lunch is soon and then we set off for the airport. Thank you all for your prayers, and please feel free to leave comments. God bless!!

the edge of all the light

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly."
Patrick Overton

I came across that quote a few weeks ago and I just fell in love with it. It helps me describe a lot of what I'm feeling right now. I feel like I am at the edge of the light; I'm at the point where anything beyond this will be unfamiliar. Going to Africa. Leaving everyone I know. Living with strangers. Serving as a missionary. Learning to live in a completely different culture. All of these are things I've never done before. I have a very vague picture of what life will be like and what I will experience. I know enough to know... that I don't know anything.

The solid ground I stand on is Christ; without Him I wouldn't be doing any of this, I wouldn't even have the desire to. He is the impetus, the driving force, the reason, the motivation, the One who keeps me going and the One who gave me the joy and passion for this in the first place. It was all His idea and I certainly won't be the one taking credit for His stuff. On the other side of this quote, I also know that I trust God will give me wings, the ability to survive and even thrive in these conditions that are so unlike anything I've experienced in my life. He will take anything weak or ugly or painful and turn them into things so beautiful that we never could have seen them if His light hadn't illuminated them.

I've been looking at some scripture that encourages me as I walk in God's path; He has left behind the stories of so many faithful for us to look to and follow. Like the story of Abraham, called out of his country and the familiarity of a place he'd lived all his life. Called to follow God without question, without knowing what lay ahead or what he would encounter.

God told Abram: "Leave your country, your family, and your father's home for a land that I will show you. I'll make you a great nation and bless you. I'll make you famous; you'll be a blessing. I'll bless those who bless you; those who curse you I'll curse. All the families of the Earth will be blessed through you." So Abram left just as God said.
Genesis 12:1-4

God promises him this incredible thing; that from him will come a great nation and that anyone who helps Abraham out, God in turn will bless them. Abraham is asked to leave his parents, brothers, sisters, and everyone he knew (except for his wife) and leave, to end up in a place God hadn't even revealed to him yet. And he did it! He just obeyed God without questioning Him; without second guessing Him or wondering if He really knew what He was talking about. I don't think I have faith like that yet. It took a lot of thinking and pondering and praying and deliberating before I'd decided to even spend 3 months away from home, let alone leave my entire life the way that Abraham did. What I'm doing now is so small compared to what these godly men in the Bible did.

Everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear. It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice.
Phil. 1:12-18

I've been hearing so many people talk and preach about Paul lately; I really think God is trying to get this into my head. Paul is one of those people I look to with such respect and admiration. He followed God's call for his life even when it led to imprisonment, torture, humiliation, just extreme suffering and what should have been despair. He never said it was unfair, he never assumed he was better or more faithful and therefore shouldn't have had to endure these things. I love this passage from Philippians which Paul writes from a prison cell, just words of complete joy and utter abandonment to the cause of Christ. These days I see believers complain about low incomes, small houses, bad schools, expensive gas, and the type of music they hear at church. We are focused on the tiniest, most trivial things and we are neglecting the huge concepts of love, grace, forgiveness, and joy (just like Jesus tells the Pharisees).

I love this passage because Paul says no matter how Christ is preached -- whether it's by people who hate him, or people who have good intentions, or people who are just gossiping -- however it gets out, the point is, it gets out. People are hearing about Jesus and many are learning who He is and turning to Him. People are getting saved even when Jesus is being talked about for the most horrible reasons. Paul says he doesn't even care how it happens as long as it happens; as long as people are coming to Christ and lives are being changed. He knows that God can take anything, even the worst circumstances, and turn them into things that will glorify Himself and ultimately bring good.

I want my heart to be like Paul's. I want more of a servant's heart. To give all of my energy, time, resources, and passion to loving the lost, to spreading the Good News; to counting it all as loss for the sake of His Name; that He would become greater and I would become less. Please pray for me when God brings me to your mind. Pray for my motivation; that my foundation would continue to be the Lord and not anything else that would hinder His work.

This has been an amazing year of change in my life and I am incredibly excited and in awe of what God's been doing and continues to do with me and around me. He is such a creative, powerful, beautiful, and good God.